Page 8 of Forget Me Not

I hear her reach for her paper. “Doesn’t...understand...the...value...of...chocolate.”

I roll my eyes, laughing. “Bye, Mags.”

“Later, gator.”

I find myself skipping on the way to school. Skipping. Like I’m twelve. Except I was never the sort of twelve-year-old who skipped. I’m not sure I was aware I even knew how to until this very moment. That’s how skip deprived I’ve been. One more thing to put on my therapy to-do list.

When I’m done skipping, I take time to notice things. Like the birds. There are a lot of birds. Not the scary kind Hitchcock found so fascinating, but pretty ones. Chirping ones. I like birds. I think maybe I want to learn more about them. Oh. And butterflies. One just flew right up into my face.

What the hell is happening to me?!

It’s a big question, and school is only half a mile from Mags’ place, so I don’t have time to answer it right now. Skipping really sped up the walk.

I’m nowhere near the first kid to arrive. The place is buzzing with gossip and panic over forgotten homework. I fight the urge to laugh. Kind of exciting to think that missed homework might be the worst thing I have to worry about between now and graduation.

Doing my best to bypass as many inquiring eyes as possible, I hurry up and find the office. They’re expecting me, but I still need to check in and get my schedule.

Thirty seconds later and I’m back out in the hall, examining the piece of paper in my hand. I have no clue how I feel about the rest of my classes, but there’s one name I recognize on this schedule and it basically confirms what I’ve been slowly, begrudgingly admitting to be true. Today is the best day ever.

“Coop,” I hear Gun’s voice call my name. If my heart wasn’t racing before, it seems to be doing just that right now.

Automatically, I lift my gaze to seek him out. It takes no time at all to find him, even with the crowd of people sifting through between us. Maybe it’s from learning to find each other in the dark, maybe we’ve just been through so much together, I don’t know, but I feel suddenly certain I could find him anytime, anywhere.

I wave. Grinning like a maniac. He’s going to think I’ve lost my mind. Maybe I have. Or maybe this is just what happy feels like. Crazy. Ridiculous.Amazing.

I hurry through the mass of people who seem completely unaware of the barrier they’re creating.

“Hey.” I sound giddy with excitement. I am giddy with excitement.

“What’s up with you?” He seems amused. He would be. That, or worried, thinking someone slipped me something. Maybe that is what he’s thinking. That I’ve got a sugar high from all the chocolate Mags has been pushing on me.

That’s totally not it though. And I show him. “I have the same bitch for first period!” I announce ecstatically

The corner of his mouth hitches up into a lopsided grin. “I’m sorry. That really sucks for you.”

Sure. If by sucks he means the way it’s totally awesome for me.

I’m almost a little surprised by my own fate when I wind up sitting halfway across the room from Gun in class. Here I thought the stars had aligned to grant me all the most trivial aspects of friendship at last and then poof, all hope of whispering insults back and forth during crazy lady’s class, gone in an instant all because people are unusually attached to their desks around this place.

All girls, I notice. All girls, all sitting in a circle around Gun. And Ed. I also notice, that despite what Mags may have said this morning, Gun doesn’t look at me with any sort of significance reflecting in his eyes. There’s nothing. Zero. Zilch. Outside of the initial taunt when our teacher silenced everyone by scraping her nails over the chalkboard, he hasn’t lifted his head, or even his lids, to even glance in my direction. I would know. Because I haven’t looked anywhere else. Stupid Mags.

Why am I obsessing over this? Gun and I are just that...Gun and I. We’ve always been just us. There’s never been any need to define who we are to each other. I’ve never needed to. Except now, Mags and all her stupid insinuations are in my head. And I suddenly care about the blonde who just asked Gun for a pen. I want to know if Gun thinks she’s pretty. If he likes her. Or who the chick is sitting to his right who just very obviously slipped him a note.

He never talks about girls to me. He’s never dated. I’ve never dated. Dating always seemed to be the least of anyone’s worries, not to mention, it’s hardly practical. There’s no point in ever attempting to commit to someone when you’ve yet to find a home willing to commit to you. The older we get, the more we bounce. Until now.

I catch a heated glare from highlight Barbie. Looks like she’s feeling territorial.She’sfeeling territorial of Gun.MyGun.

Oh, God. What is happening to me?!

By the end of first period, the fog of Mags and strange girls has lifted. Thank GOD. I’m thinking clearly. Rationally. Gun is my friend. My best friend. There’s never been anything else. There’s never been room for anything else. There isn’t now either. Something I have no trouble remembering in the three periods which follow. Without him.

Class is barely over when everyone jumps from their seats and proceeds to spill out of the room and into the hallway. It’s lunch and no one wants to waste a minute of it. Except me.

I’m in no hurry to get pushed through the halls like I’m a cow stuck at dead center of the herd. Mags packed my lunch. Cold pizza and fruit roll ups. They can wait. Besides, I get weird when I’m squeezed between strange bodies in large spaces, like some sort of reverse claustrophobia. I can sit in a tiny box with no sign of daylight for days, but one skip hop and jump through this sardine can and I’ll be breaking out in a cold sweat before I make it to the cafeteria.

Provided I ever find it. The way Gun’s directions have been panning out thus far, I’ve damn near had a full tour of the place and the day’s not even over.

Once I’m down to stragglers, I start my hike down the semi-empty halls to find Gun and Ed. So far, the only clue I have is to try and clear the lockers. There aren’t any near the cafeteria. Once those are out of sight, I guess I’ll follow my nose. School cafeteria food has a scent all on its own.

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