Page 52 of Forget Me Not

Until Gun.

Until Gun came along, pulling me out into the fucking light.

I didn’t need it.

I still don’t need it.

I’m still okay in the darkness.

And it’s not so dark anymore.

I have Reed.

He practically radiates, touching everything in sight with his warmth and golden glow.

Reed is all the light a girl could ever want.

But I don’tneedit.

I can live in the dark.

I can live anywhere.

Breath fills my lungs as I wipe the fallen tears from my hot face. I close my eyes, letting everything go black around me. And then. I stand. On my own. Not broken in half. Not part of a whole. But complete. By myself.

Chapter Fourteen

Gun

7Years Earlier

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“You’re some kind of stupid, you know that?” Ed shakes his head at me the second I walk into the visiting room. “Why in the hell are you refusing bail? You like it in here that much? The food that good? The dress code really suit your style? What?!”

I have half a mind to turn around and request to be led back to my cell. “You really drive six hours just to give me shit about this?”

He glowers at me. “Man, I would have driven ten times that if I thought I had half a chance at talking some sense into you.”

I clench my teeth, biting down so hard my jaw sends a piercing pain all the way up to my temples. Sense isn’t what I’m lacking. It’s fucking options.

He scoffs. “Don’t give me your bullshit glaring and scary silent treatment, that crap doesn’t work on me.” He waves his hand, dismissing me and every right I have to be pissed off in one small gesture.

“It must be so nice, Ed. Always on the outside looking in. Having all the answers without any of the problems. Life must be so simple for someone so wise and carefree.” My flair for dramatic sarcasm isn’t received well.

Ed is in my face, both palms shoved into my chest until I hit the wall behind me. None of the guards even bat an eyelash. That’s how fucking popular I am around here. “I’m going to forgive you for saying that,” he hisses. “I’m going to forgive you, because I know you don’t mean it. Because I know, that you know better. Because you’re my friend, hell, you’re more – you’re my brother. And you’re in trouble. And you need to be an ass to someone. And if that someone needs to be me, then I can accept that. And I forgive you.” He releases me, slowly inching backwards. “Butdo nottry it a second time,” he warns, just before he turns away from me.

“Sorry,” I mumble, stumbling my way across the back of the larger visiting room to one of the chairs around the corner table. Suddenly the mere act of standing is daunting. I haven’t slept in days and I’m fucking exhausted. The food sucks and my new roommates are about as likely to have my back as they are to shank me in it. But none of that is anything compared to the non-stop train of thoughts my brain keeps recycling over and over again. Starting with a little girl in a closet and ending with the woman she grew up to be. In love with someone else. And better off without me. It’s right around this point where I realize I have no place in my own thoughts. They’re all about her. Which is why I’m here. Stuck. Because I never made room for myself to be anywhere else. So I start back in the beginning and go round and round, unable to move beyond the place in time I ceased to exist in her life.

“Don’t apologize to me until it’s my turn. You got a list of people to say sorry to way before you get to me,” Ed grumbles, dropping into the chair across from me.

“Anyone know you’re here?” I ask, hoping he understands what I really want to know.

“You really think I’d have shown up here alone if she knew?” Alright. He understood.

“Fine, you’re right. Look, my life is pretty much tied up for the foreseeable future, so while you are wasting your time driving back and forth and going through the tedious steps to get in here and visit me, I’m not losing anything but quality time spent staring at the bottom of the mattress lying on the bunk above me. And since we both know I don’t give a shit about me today, let’s do what’s in your best interest and get this visit done and over with.”

Ed taps his fingers on the table between us, just in case his scowl isn’t properly conveying his levels of frustration this afternoon. “All I’ve got to look forward to right now is six hours in my car and having to face your girl when I get home, so no, I’m in no hurry.”

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