Page 31 of Forget Me Not

“Colorado it is then.” I nod, even though I know we’ll never get there. All the times we’ve taken off over the years and we’ve never reached a destination yet. That’s not why we do it. We run away for one simple reason. To get caught. Get busted. Get in minor trouble. Get moved to a new place. Get a fresh start.

Reed

Present Day

“This doesn’t feel right,” I insist, standing in her open doorway, “walking out of here without you. Why can’t we do it together? Come with me.”

She smiles, looking down at our hands. I haven’t let go yet. Neither has she, but I can feel her fingertips slack against mine. Her soft skin isn’t putting any pressure against mine anymore. I’m the one still holding on. I don’t like it. But, I understand. She’s had to spend years forcing herself to let go of me when I’ve spent all this time desperately trying to find a memory of her strong enough to grasp onto. It’ll take time, but we can meet in the middle again. I know it.

“I can’t go with you, Reed. You need to go back to your life and the people in it without me. You have to be sure it’s not what you want...that all of this, me, isn’t just clouding your judgement and confusing you.”

I grip her hands a little harder. “How can you say that?”

“Because I’m right. All of this...it’s a lot. For both of us. And regardless of how we feel, we’re not the only ones involved. You have a fiancée.”

“And you have Gun.”

She winces at the mention of his name. It scares me. I can’t decide if I’m better off not really knowing who he is or not. Ignorance isn’t nearly the bliss everyone makes it out to be, that much I’ve learned since the accident.

“It’s not what you think, Reed,” she says softly. “Gun has been in my life for as long as I can remember...and I’ve been ruining his ever since he became a part of it. I don’t mean to. I never do. But, this time...I’ll lose him. For good.” She sighs painfully. “And I deserve to, but that doesn’t mean it’s what I want or that it won’t be painful. For both of us.”

It’s hard not to feel responsible. Her face flashes in my mind of the moment I walked in here today and saw her. She was smiling. She was happy. Now, she looks heartbroken. Because of me. No matter how much I want to believe that today will mark the beginning of our happy ever after, it’s not the sort of carefree euphoria one associates with those. Turns out finding her was the easy part. Now, the really shitty stuff starts.

“It’ll all be worth it,” I promise. “In the end, everything will be as it was meant to. And the people we have to hurt...they’ll be happier for it in the long run. Because we derailed them from finding the people they’re meant to be with. We’re making it right by letting them go. Even if it doesn’t feel that way at the moment.” I lean in and press my lips to her soft mouth. I can feel it tremble as I kiss her, so I kiss her harder, deeper, longer. Until the world around us turns blurry and all that’s left is us.

Cooper

I should go inside. I know this. But I can’t. Instead, I sit here in my car, parked outside of his house. Melting. Even with all the windows down and the sunroof open, there’s barely enough of a breeze to keep the sweat from pooling on my brow. Never mind all the places in which my clothes are slowly beginning to stick to me. The worst part is, I know he knows I’m here. I’ve seen the blinds move at least three times already in the front window, the one looking out from his office.

I can just picture him sitting there, at his desk, attempting to work but being too busy swearing at my stupidity to get anything productive done. Old Gunnar would have come out and got me by now. But this is new Gunnar. The Gunnar who watched Reed waltz back into my life. The one who’s going to let me go. He’s not coming out for me. He’s not coming for me ever again.

I check my phone. Maybe I should just call him. Would it count as an in person conversation if we could see each other through the crack in his blinds while we talk? Probably not.

I put the phone down again. I wasn’t really going to call him. I’m just stalling. Stalling because I don’t want to do this. And, maybe, probably, stalling because I’m stubborn and selfish and it’s pissing me off that he’s making me sit out here torturing myself over all of this. Because, selfish asshole that I may be, it’s sonotwho he is.

I’ve nearly worked myself into enough of a huff to bust out of this oven which once was my car and march my ass straight into his house. Then, my anger betrays me and gives way to heartache as my mind conjures up the words ‘he hates you now’ and plays them for me on repeat, increasing in volume every time the statement is made.

I’m about to break down into a puddle of tears when the sprinklers beat me to it and I wind up sitting in the center of a cool shower spilling in through all of my open windows.

“What the hell?!” I hurry to put the key back into the ignition so I can close up my car, but it’s too late. I’m soaked. Like, for real soaked. Not just sweat soaked. I guess I no longer have to worry about the giant sweat stain I likely had down my back.Silver lining.

Still dripping, I finally force myself to get out of the car and start walking toward the front door. Before I reach the front step, the door swings open and Gun’s hand practically pops out toward me holding a towel.

“You’re pretty ridiculous. You know that, right?” he grumbles roughly as he turns and walks back inside, leaving the door open for me to follow but never actually inviting me in.

“You turned on those sprinklers on purpose?!” I don’t know if I’m shocked or not. It got me out of the car. And I needed to get out of the car. So, I guess I’m not shocked. Just annoyed. Maybe even pissed. Because he always has the advantage. I’m the open book. I’m the easily manipulated weak link. And he never hesitates to use his power.

He’s still moving through the house, headed toward the kitchen. “It was either that or watch you die of heatstroke.”

And then I’m right back to heartache. Because he has powers. But he never uses them against me. Only for me. Only to help offset my bad choices in my weakest moments. Because he’s not weak. Not ever.

“Gun,” I start but he interrupts me by coming back and handing me a bottle of water.

“You don’t need to.” He holds his hand up to stop me from saying what I came here to say. “We both know you wouldn’t have sat in my driveway for forty-five minutes frying if you were here to tell me Reed turned out to be a major asshole and you have no idea what you ever saw in him in the first place.” He cocks his brow and forces a smirk. “Right?”

My eyes burn and it’s not from the sprinkler water and sweat running into them. As much as I’ve tried to convince my body it has to be dried up of all tears at this point, it’s just not.

“How do you do that?” I whisper.

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