Page 16 of Forget Me Not

“What’s wrong?” Reed squeezes my shoulder. He’s got his arm draped around me, so this small gesture goes a long way and results in a comforting Reed-wrap-around-hug. I love those. I especially love how non-stingy he is with them. With affection in general. He never hesitates to hold my hand or pull me close. Or kiss me. God, that boy can kiss.

I inhale all that yummy Reed scent before I answer. It’s like I get high off just one whiff of him. Butterflies start doing somersaults in the pit of my stomach, my heart feels light and my face, it does this involuntary smile thing I’m almost used to now. Life gets better every time I breathe in when he’s around. Doesn’t seem to matter how many weeks or months go by, his scent continues to have the same magical effect on me.

“Nothing now.” I sigh, smiling into the soft cotton of his shirt.

“You had that look on your face,” he nudges, “You were thinking about something you didn’t like. What was it?”

Slowly I untangle myself from his embrace enough to face him while we talk. I like that he pays attention, that he notices the little things. I just don’t like talking about them. “Mr. B got Gun a job for the summer. Well, more than a job really, it’s an apprenticeship. He’s learning roofing.” I’m sure that sounds less than impressive to Reed who’s been accepted to Yale to follow in his father’s footsteps, but it’s huge for Gun. For kids like us, turning eighteen usually means you’re out on your ass with no money, no real skills and no family. Mr. B changed the game for Gun. Changed his life.

“That doesn’t sound like a bad thing, Cooper.” He smiles at me, waiting for me to get to the part I’m not so keen on.

“It’s a great thing, actually. Except it’s in Georgia. So, right after graduation, he’s taking off for nine weeks.” I avert my eyes. “It’s the longest we’ve been apart in years.”

“You’re going to miss him,” he says quietly. I know he doesn’t like how close Gun and I are, but he’s been doing his best to accept it and keep the snide commentary to a minimum. Meanwhile, I’ve given up any notions they’ll ever be close. Ever. I don’t know how it’ll play out in terms of the rest of our lives, but I’m not ready to face the possibility of giving up any aspect of either relationship, so I just block it out entirely. Until now, when it’s staring me square in the face. Gun is disappearing. I know he says it’s just for nine weeks, but ever since he told me, I can’t shake this icky feeling in the pit of my stomach that it’s more than that. Things are changing. He’s pulling away. And I don’t know how to stop him without being a selfish ass.

“It’s not just that,” I finally answer, “I’m scared of losing my family. My roots. He’s the first place I’ve ever belonged, Reed. And I know that’s hard for you to hear, but I can’t help it. It’s true. We were both just thrashing in the current when we met, and coming together was the first time either of us ever felt anchored to anything. You don’t understand, your parents have always been that for you. If you lost them, if you didn’t have the security of a home, your safe place to come back to, life would be a little scary. Trust me.”

“I understand what you’re saying,” he says, his fingers tracing over my temple and brushing back a few rogue strands of my hair, “I guess the thing that’s hard for me to grasp is how you can belong with Gun, when in my heart, I’ve known from the moment I saw you, that you belong with me. That I want to be your family. Your safe place. Your forever.”

“Oh.” My heart jumps up to meet my tonsils, they do a little dance and I about keel over from lack of oxygen before things settle down a bit and I remember to take another breath. “You don’t have to say that,” I stammer, not sure if I want him to take it back or assure me he meant every word. It’s so huge and so close to happy ever after, it’s downright terrifying. Life isn’t supposed to be this easy. At least not mine. But Reed? I suppose this makes perfect sense in his world.

He chuckles. If I’ve said something funny, I’m not aware of it. But this happens sometimes when we’re together. I think I’m being awkward, he thinks I’m being cute. It’s not the worst thing in the world to disagree on.

“Cooper, I’m not saying anything that isn’t true. At least for me.” He tilts his head, curiously eyeing at an angle. “Don’t you think about our future? Together?”

“Of course,” I admit, words practically rushing from my lips, “but you have so much of your own future to focus on for the next few years, I wasn’t trying to put any added pressure on you with expectations of my own.” That’s the last thing I want. With the way his dad’s been breathing down his neck about college and career choices, all I’ve wanted to do was offer a sort of safe haven, somewhere Reed could just be...Reed.

“Believe me, any expectations you have of me and of us, only give me more to look forward to and be happy about.” His blue eyes light up as he says it, it’s like his heart is shining through them, on me, into me. His love for me is everywhere. So real, I almost think I could touch it if I reached out and tried.

“In that case, consider yourself expected of. I want it all mister. I want romance and passion and never ending walks on the beach. I want a home. I want dinner together, every night and breakfast every morning. I want weekend getaways and world travels. But mostly, I just. Want. You.” I kiss him.

“Done.”

And again. Until one kiss blends into the next and I can no longer tell where he ends and I begin.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

“What in the hell is this?” Reed’s dad slams a huge manila envelope down on the table. He and I were just about to share a pizza. Now I kind of wish I’d passed on the invite to dinner and a movie all together.

“It’s my acceptance letter to UCF.” Reed sounds nonchalant about it, but I can tell by the way he’s refusing to look at his dad, this is no casual matter.

“Why would they be accepting you at a school you never applied to?” his father grills him. Never in my life have I wished I could fit inside a pizza box more.

“I did apply.” He tosses his half-eaten slice back onto the plate and finally raises his stare to meet his father’s. “It’s closer to home and they have a great legal studies program. I can still go to Yale for Law School when it’s time.”

His dad looks like he might start shooting steam out of his ears. “This isn’t what we discussed, Reed. The plan was already set. All you had to do was follow it.”

He shrugs. “Plans change.”

“Not these kinds of plans. This is your life we’re talking about, for Christ’s sake.” Then, in a twist of horrible fate, his glare shifts and lands on me. “Is this because of her? Are you throwing your whole damn future out the window over some girl?” Six months we’ve been dating and they still can’t be bothered to treat me like a person, let alone his girlfriend. Something that became abundantly clear after the massive surprise party they threw him two days ago for his eighteenth birthday which they didn’t invite me to.

“Don’t talk about her like that,” Reed hisses, his molars clearly grinding down on one another. “She’s not some girl, and more importantly, I’m not going to keep having this conversation as if she isn’t sitting right here with us.”

His dad’s eyes narrow into tiny, angry slits. I’m tempted to crawl under the table just to get away from their laser like glare.

“My office,” he snarls. “Now.”

Reed doesn’t put up a fight. He just motions a silent apology and follows his father out of the dining room and down the hall. The den is only a couple feet away, so even after the door shuts, I can hear every word they’re saying. And none of them are pretty. Or particularly flattering to me.

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