Page 76 of Love Me

Bear.

Not Liam.

Nausea hits me next, the stomach acid churning over, making me sweat. She’s really fucking bolting. She’s going to leave me, and I’ll lose both of my girls. She had to have known I was in love with her. Was she really ignoring everything? There’s no way she doesn’t feel what’s clearly between us. This is deeper than anything either of us expected. But I know my girl, and she can’t be pushed in the heat of the moment, so I’ll concede to her . . . for now.

“Yeah, beauty. Whatever you need, you know that,” I reply, not able to mask the lump of emotion currently lodged in my throat. I can’t help the tears that continue to spring to my eyes as she walks away, leaving me standing in my parents’ bathroom wondering what the fuck just happened and if I just lost everything that I’ve ever wanted, when I’ve only just gotten it.

Lying in bed is fucking pointless when there’s so much uncertainty going through my head. So, I do what I do best. Work. After Hannah and I left my parents’ house, claiming that all the excitement made Hannah feel sick, I reluctantly dropped her off behind Bean Haven, where she got out of my truck and didn’t say a word to me. Never have I been more grateful that we decided to let Charlie spend the evening with Graham and his daughter, Mila. She didn’t have to witness how quickly the excitement turned to ash. The pain in my chest is insurmountable. I’ve always been the one person she wants close when things go to shit, and in my attempt to save her from more heartache and stress, I’ve added to it.

So, I drove to the distillery and threw myself into the familiarity of one of the rickhouses, walking up and down the aisles. It’s cooler and darker here tonight, nature dictating how it feels, but I thrive in it no matter what. The warehouses give off a comforting smell of the charred oak barrels—deep wood, vanilla, and spices from the aging process. As I get farther toward the back where the older barrels are aging, I can just barely notice the smell of the whiskey itself evolving, with the older casks releasing notes of dried fruit, leather, tobacco, and caramelized sugar.

I used to do this as a kid, anytime I got overwhelmed or had an issue, pacing and running my hands through my hair at a near obsessive rate helped calm me down. The long aisles between the barrels are a familiar, quiet comfort that I need right now.

How Hannah could be blind to how I really feel about her, while it was obvious to everyone else in this town, isn’t just disappointing—it’s heartbreaking. I’m not willing to let her go without a fight. Consequences be damned. But it’s hard not to wonder if she just got caught up in the acting of it all, and because she’s been so touched starved, inadvertently used me to fulfill a need. A need I was more than eager to satisfy for her.

I lose track of time when my phone buzzes in my pocket. With shaky hands, I pull it out to see a text from Dallas.

Dallas: Tell me what you need

Me: Hannah

Dallas: I can’t fix that for you but I know she’ll comearound

Dallas: Ring or drink?

I let his question hang in the air while I try to figure out what I need and if I want to be alone or have company when all I want is to go home and curl around Hannah to watch a horror flick.

Dallas: Walking around the rickhouse isn’t gonna make you feel better, brother. Pick one or I’ll pick for you.

I answer with the first thing that comes to mind.

Me: Ring

Dallas: Meet you at Dom’s. Leaving now.

Locking everything back up, I jump in my truck and take the drive back into town, feeling like shit the entire way. Spring is in full force, the remnants of our long winter gone, the tall Sitka spruce having shaken the heavy weight of snow off and returned to their former glory. As I get closer and closer to town, the urge to stop at Bean Haven and see Hannah is so strong my hands white-knuckle the steering wheel. I don’t want to give her space, but I know after everything she’s been through, she needs to process.

I walk into Knockout, the gym that my brothers and I have grown up in, adrenaline coursing through my veins and ready to knock Dallas on his ass to make myself feel a tiny bit better. The smell of sweat, rubber, and leather punches me in the nose and settles in my chest, making me immediately regret my decision to box over a beer or two at The Night Owl. But Dallaswould just hunt me down and drag my ass right back here, knowing that this is what I need right now. Not alcohol. Damn, I really missed my brother, hate that he’s had so much heavy shit going on in his life lately with Blaire that’s kept him preoccupied, but fuck if I’m not grateful to get time with him right now.

I make my way to the locker rooms to change into workout clothes, stuffing my bag, keys, and phone into a locker before returning to the front. The receptionist, Emma, sits on the lap of one of her boyfriends, Cruz, his arms wrapped tightly around her waist in a possessive hold while her other boyfriends, Dom and Aidan, lean over the desk, doting on her. Emma was dating our friend Dom who owns Knockout, and then a few months ago, surprised the shit out of the entire town when Cruz and Aidan started openly dating her as well. Everyone except her parents have been supportive of them.

“Hey, guys, Dallas already here?”

Dom stands up straight, nearly my perfect match in height and weight. He typically works weights with me when I come in a few times a week to lift and not punch out my older brothers.

“Yeah, beatin’ the shit out of a heavy bag in the back. It’s good to have him back in here. Was worried for a minute.”

“Yeah, we all were. Let’s see how out of shape he’s gotten, huh?”

“Put ’em on his ass, Liam!” Emma tosses over to me, and I give her a curt smile. Dom looks in her direction, his voice lowering, his tone sweeter, his affection for her clear.

“Milaya devochka, careful, after they’re done, it’s your turn in that ring.”

Jesus fucking Christ. I don’t even want to let my mind go there right now.

“I’m gonna let you get back to your weird-ass foreplay, Dom. I’ll catch you guys later.”

The rhythmic thump of gloved fists hitting a bag signals my brother’s whereabouts as I walk toward the back of the open gym. It’s empty here except for us, and I’m surprised that Dallas was willing to leave Blaire at all.

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