Page 35 of Love Me

“Remember that scene from Alien?”

“Fuck! That comes out of her stomach, you fucker!”

“Same, same!”

“Oh, fuck. Bear, I don’t want you to see me down there!”

“I think we’re past that, I was laying in your fluid, Hannah! And for fuck’s sake, I’ve seen you pee a thousand times!”

“This is different, you buffoon, and you can’t see anything when I pee! Oh, fuck my life, why does the universe hate me?”

She grips her pillow hard, biting her bottom lip until blood pools as she braces through another contraction.

“Han, you need to breathe for me, okay? This is nothing. We’ve been through so much, what’s a little childbirth on the kitchen floor?”

“Fuck, it burns!!! Fuck! Fuck! FUUUCK!”

I lift the T-shirt over her bent knees and close my eyes, taking a deep breath. I can’t believe this is fucking happening. When I’m alone and dreaming about being between Hannah’s legs, it definitely doesn’t include childbirth. I need to get it together, and now. She needs you, motherfucker. Man up and look. She fucking needsyou.

Opening my eyes, I let myself look between her legs. Hannah is being stretched to the max, a head of wet hair clearly visible. I steady my breathing, doing everything I can to stay calm.

“Alright, Han. Baby is coming. I hear the sirens but I’m gonna need you to push, okay? I can see the head.”

“Oh, fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. FUCK!”

Hannah grabs her knees and lifts herself into a curling position, pushing until she’s bright red in the face. The head slips right out. Holy fuck, that’s a head coming out of my best friend.

“Breathe, Han. Push again.”

She pushes once more, and I reach out with a towel in my hand as the baby twists a bit, shoulders popping free. I steady the body as Hannah pushes again, the baby slipping free of her body and into my waiting hands. I pull away just enough, seeing thecord fucking hanging out of Hannah, and wrap the baby in the towel just as the paramedics rush through the door and take over.

Everything else happens in a blur. I hold Hannah’s head in my palms, praising her as the paramedics deliver her placenta, Hannah screaming at everyone to put the fucking sea creature on ice so she can do fuck knows with it later, and check the vitals on the baby. When the baby is finally wrapped up tight and put in Hannah’s arms, my heart nearly explodes out of my chest.

“Boy or girl, bear?”

“You’ve got a daughter, beauty. I hope you’re ready.”

Her eyes fill with tears as she kisses the head of the baby girl in her arms.

“Alright, we need to get you moved onto the stretcher, ma’am. You’ll be able to hold your baby on the way to the hospital.”

“Please hold her, bear.”

No hesitations, I eagerly scoop up the tiny bundle into my arms and look down into her bright watery eyes. And just like that, I’ve fallen in love with two girls.

“Beauty, what’s her name?”

“Charlotte. We’re going to call her Charlie.”

My heart stops beating and my eyes flash back to meet Hannah’s.

“After the goddamn bear we fought over? Hannah, think about this. It’s your daughter.”

“And you brought her to me, just like the bear brought you. That’s her name. Now I’ll have my Charlie bear forever.”

“Well, fuckin’ finally! Thought I was gonna join your grandpa in that jar at your dad’s house before you two got your heads outta your asses.”

I sit across from Ms. Nettie, Hannah’s grandmother, after we just dropped what Hannah thought was going to be a bomb on her. Apparently, her reaction is the same as everyone else’s.

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