Page 31 of Love Me

“And you’re telling me that some random dink you pick up at a bar is going to make you feel better? Did you not hear what I said? About what you deserve?”

He can’t be serious right now.

“Oh, I heard you, bear. Pretty little words wrapped in a bright bow. Those are fantasies. It’s not real life.”

The rage seems to vacate his body, leaving him dejected and morose.

“I’ve known you forever, which means I know everything about you, and I’m telling you right now, a one-night stand is going to make you feel worse. If you need something, I’ll give it to you.”

“Wow,” I say, shaking my head and laughing under my breath. “So, what? You want to pity fuck me, bear? How is that going to make me feel any better than a one-night stand would.”

He moves as fast as lightning and I’m reminded that Liam holds his control at bay, his normal loose, laid-back personality, is just one part of him. He can be just as ruthless and overbearing as his brothers. He grips my chin between two fingers, his other hand curling behind my neck, pulling me toward the center of the truck.

“Listen to me, Han, if you give yourself to me, there won’t be anything about it that’s out of pity. It’ll be because we want each other so fucking bad we can’t go another second without me deep inside you.”

My breath hitches, my heart like a tumbleweed in thewind. My eyes bounce back and forth between his, trying to find meaning behind what he just said.

“I’ve got you and I’m going to teach you how to take what you want, even your pleasure, Hannah. You’ll never want for touch with me, and you’re going to take what you want when you want it. Now, let’s enjoy these movies. This is the best part, and I don’t want you to miss it. You love this scene with all the nuns praying.”

I swallow hard as he releases me, and for the millionth time tonight, I find myself wishing he wouldn’t. Instead of overthinking things, I study my best friend’s face for a moment longer, his strong features, the coarse stubble of his cheeks and jaw. I do trust him, and even though everything he just said confuses the living hell out of me, I pack up the rest of my dinner, setting it behind me in the to-go bag, pull out the blanket, and scoot across the bench seat. Liam lifts his arm automatically, tucking me into his side, and my brain settles almost instantaneously.

I’ve always found peace and comfort with Liam. He’s seen me through my hardest days, held me through ups and downs, and I know that this is just one more thing he’ll see me through. Liam is my rock, at the end of the day, it’s me and him, always has been, always will be.

Sitting in the nurse’s office of my high school sucking on a honey stick is not how I wanted to spend the afternoon when I should be getting ready for Liam’s hockey game. I’ve missed so many of them this season because of work at Bean Haven after school. But here I am, headache, still shaking like a leaf, nauseous, and holding an ice pack to my head from where I hit the lockers as I passed out and crumbled to the ground. I don’t even care about the looks, or how everyone freaked out. I’m grateful no one calledan ambulance. I was only out for a moment and Ms. Gagnon knows I don’t take care of myself like I should.

She pulled my blood sugar monitor from my bag, set it up, and checked my levels before giving me a honey stick. She has glucose tabs and gel on hand, but I hate them. Living with reactive hypoglycemia is so fun when you’re too busy to eat, or eat and drink all the wrong things. It’s living in a constant state of having to think about food and I rebel against it. And more days than not, I end up feeling like shit. I’ve only passed out a few times, today being an unfortunate addition, but the symptoms suck when the crash happens.

Ms. Gagnon leaves me to rest and finish my snack when the door opens again, the curtain to my hidey hole ripped open, causing me to jump, followed by a wince as I jerk my head. Liam stands in front of me, red-faced and sweaty, like he ran all the way here. His top half is in his hockey pads and jersey. He moves quickly, sitting next to me on the bed, surveying the damage under the ice pack.

“Where are you hurt? What happened?”

“It’s just my hairline, right here. I hit my head on a locker.”

“Han, you passed out? What have you eaten today?”

I roll my eyes at his overprotectiveness. It knows no bounds.

“Two coffees.”

“And? With what?” He gives me a look that says, you can’t seriously be that dumb. But apparently, I’m proving that I can. Hold my beer.

“Sugar and milk?”

“For the love of God, Hannah, tell me you’ve eaten.”

I hold up the empty plastic that held the honey stick and shrug my shoulders innocently. My attempt at a sweetwhoopsie, silly mefails miserably. If possible, Liam’s face turns an even darker shade of red, near crimson, as his eyes squint at me. My eyes widen as I scoot back farther on the bed, nudging his sidewith my bare foot, trying to put some needed space between us. Liam is so levelheaded, chill, just go with the flow, until he’s mad. Then he’s basically The Hulk.

“Can you walk?”

“Uh, yes?”

“Then put your shoes on and let’s go.”

“What do you mean, ‘let’s go?’” I mock his deep voice, and he shoots me a glare. “You have a hockey game to get ready for. Shouldn’t you already be on the ice for a skate?”

“I’m not going. You need to eat a meal. Can you move your ass, please?”

I stare blankly at my best friend. He can’t be serious right now.

---