Page 79 of Love Me

“That’s fair. But, in Liam’s defense—because you clearly haven’t noticed—that man has only ever acted like he was in love with you. Like I said, it’s been plain as day for all of us. And you’re an even bigger idiot than I thought if you haven’t realized your own feelings for him yet.”

I wish I didn’t feel so blindsided. But am I though? Because when it’s laid out for me like this—the way everyone in town was so happy for us with their stupid “finally” comments, and how easy it was for both of us to fake this relationship, we’ve been operating as a married couple for years. Now that sex has been added to the mix, everything is just much more transparent. Was I really refusing to see what’s right in front of me?

“He told me he hasn’t been with anyone in a long time.”

“I haven’t been in Aspen Ridge full-time, and even I know that he hasn’t come close to sharing himself with any woman other than you. He acts like a married man, Hannah. And he was doing so without getting his dick wet. What more could you ask for? So what if he has screwed some people before you? Hello, pot, meet kettle. You literally impregnated yourself with another man’s baby. A man who he despises, by the way. So if those things don’t make you wake up, then let Liam go.”

I huff out a sigh and shake my head, starting the process of rolling out the dough for the cinnamon rolls, needing to be done with this topic. Hailey and I sit in silence until Charlotte starts to wake up over the monitor. I give Hailey a knowing look and she jumps up to jog upstairs to get my little one ready for school for me, leaving part of me wondering if Liam is going to show up or not, and what it’ll be like when we see each other again. His text last night was exactly what I expected from him.He’s not going to bail on me now, and regardless of whatever is happening between us, he’s going to make sure that Bean Haven is mine.

Hailey made a good point, not that I’ll tell her that. Liam has been operating day in and day out as if he were a married man, without all the husband perks. He shows up for me constantly, helping with Charlie, holding me through my bad days, laughing with me through the good ones, pushing me to keep going. I was so stuck in this cycle with him as my best friend and trying to make things work with Levi, that I was too blind to see it. But now that I do, and now that I’ve connected with him that way, I can’t go back from it.

I need to have a conversation with my parents and Grandma and let them know that Liam and I got married, and hope to mother above that it’s enough for them to see me settled so they get off of my case and are happy to leave Bean Haven to me. They haven’t even explained what that would look like, too busy making me feel less than for my life choices.

Lost in my thoughts, I successfully put in two large batches of cinnamon rolls and whip up the batter for my apple cinnamon muffins. The day I stop being able to get apples supplied to bake these things is the day the town will riot.

Hailey and Charlie clomp down the stairs together and round the corner into the bakery’s kitchen. Charlie is wearing jean overalls paired with rubber rain boots and a yellow T-shirt. She looks so stinking cute.

“Morning, my munchkin!”

“Hi, Mumma. Where’s bear and Garbage?”

My face falls. Was I seriously so busy thinking about my own feelings that it hadn’t occurred to me how all of this could impact my daughter?

“Bear and the dog are at their house. Auntie Hailey is going to take you to school today before she goes to her big girl job!”

“Aww. I want to see Garbage. Can I see him after school today? He misses me, Mumma, I just know he does!” She clasps her hands together under her chin and bats her eyelashes rapidly at me. “Pu-pu-pu-puleeaase!”

“I will see if they are busy or not, how about that?”

“Okay! They won’t be busy. Bear loves me. He’ll come over, I just know it.”

Hailey and I laugh, even though I’m dying on the inside, as I give her a massive hug, breathing her in and saying our see-you-laters.

“Have fun being a full-time nanny, Hails!” I tease as she walks out the back door of Bean Haven.

Pulling out my phone, I suck it up for the sake of my daughter and text Liam, but not feeling ready to face him yet myself. I chew on my lower lip while my fingers hover over the keypad.

Me: Hi. Charlie is asking about you and Garbage

Bear: Billy.

Of fucking course it is. Because why wouldn’t I just now be registering the fact that he named his damn dog after the killer inScream, my favorite movie?

Bear: I can pick her up from school today, if that’s okay? I’ll take them to the park so she can play with Billy for a little while.

Me: Thank you, she and I both appreciate it.

My phone starts buzzing in my hand with an incomingcall from Liam. I answer right away, holding my phone to my ear and not saying anything.

“Don’t give me that professional bullshit, beauty. I pick her up all the time, this is not anything different from our normal routine. I love spending time with her. You think I don’t know that you appreciate it?”

“I was just being polite. I’m not sure what to say.”

“That’s fine. I’ll give you today, Hannah, but that’s all you’re getting. Please have a good day for me.”

I sigh into the phone, “You too.”

We hang up the phone, and for the first time in my life, I feel a distance between Liam and me that makes my heart ache painfully in my chest. My phone buzzes with an incoming text message, I open it, and a sharp pain is added to that heavy ache currently throbbing behind my ribs.

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