Page 1 of Love Me

prologue

FIVE YEARS AGO

Runningmy hands nervously through my hair, I sit in my truck, trying to convince myself to not be such a pussy and tell her how I feel. That I’m obsessively, hopelessly, in love with her. Fuck, why is this so hard? It’s not like I haven’t talked to girls before, I’m twenty-two for fuck’s sake. But this is Hannah we’re talking about. My best friend since we were in preschool.

We were too little to remember the facts, but according to my parents, I was playing with a stuffed bear that she wanted, and we fought over it until the teacher told her that I had it first and gave it back to me, causing her to cry. I immediately gave it to her to get her to stop. I made sure she had that stuffed bear every single day so that I never had to see her cry again.A stuffed bear.That’s what brought us together. She refused to give it up, and luckily, the teacher was sweet and understanding. She still has the old thing somewhere in her room at her parents’ house.

The following year, once we got to kindergarten, we were assigned to different classrooms, and I terrorized everyonearound me. I became defiant and uncooperative, screaming like a banshee until the school was forced to keep the two of us together. I behaved once I was able to be with her, and we’ve been inseparable ever since. I didn’t realize the depth of my feelings until Hannah dropped out of college and I had to continue there without her. It was our first time apart, and it was that persistent ache that caused me to drive three hours each way every weekend just to see her. That was my first sign she’s it for me.

I’m staring blankly at my dashboard when a flash of pink catches my eye as Hannah jogs down the steps of her parents’ house. She’s wearing black leggings, a largeScreamT-shirt that hides her body, a pair of black Chuck Taylors, and the tips of her blonde hair are dyed the color of bubblegum. She’s so damn edgy, in a cute, punk kind of way that is totally unique to her. She’s missing that stereotypical emo personality that you’d typically find in girls who dress like she does. But Hannah is a ray of sunshine, constantly smiling and happy, full of life. She’s the sweetest damn girl I’ve ever met. I’m a man obsessed.

Fuck, I need to get this over with and tell her, fear of ruining our friendship has kept this a secret for far too long. I also didn’t want to drop this bomb on her until after I graduated. The time apart was hard enough, and if she felt the same, there was no way I’d have been able to walk away from her. I want this girl to be wholly mine, and she needs to know how I truly feel.

Hannah opens the passenger side door, reaching up to use the grab handle before pulling herself into my large truck. She’s a short thing at roughly five foot five, and I find her always having to haul her ass into the passenger seat comical.

“Hey, beauty,” I say as I take stock of her now that she’s sitting next to me on the bench seat. Her typical glowing face is withdrawn, her eyes slightly red and bloodshot. She works toodamn much, and I wish she would pull back her hours at her family’s coffee shop.

“We need to talk?—”

“—I’ve got something that I need to tell you,” we say at the same time, my eyebrows arching in question.

“You go first,” I tell her.

“I’m pregnant.”

Two words. Time comes to a standstill as I sit frozen to my spot trying to make sense of what I just heard. She couldn’t have said what I think she did. The air in the truck evaporates, replaced with a tension thick and heavy. My eyes blur with the confusion swirling in my head. There’s no way I heard her correctly.

“Hannah,you’re what?”

“I’m pregnant, bear.”

And just like that, the life I dreamed of having with her goes out the window. She’s creating a family with someone who isn’t me, who will never be me. The pain in my chest comes on strong and I rub my knuckles against the spot to alleviate the pressure that won’t subside. Nausea rolls around in the pit of my stomach, a hard knot in my throat. Fuck, it’s hot in here. Why is it so hot all of a sudden?

“Who’s the father?” I choke out the words, clearing my throat.

“Promise me you won’t be mad.”

“If you say Levi Jenkins, Han . . .”

“Bear . . .please. I need you through this. I haven’t told anyone yet. Not even Levi. I can’t do this without you.”

I look at the girl next to me, her fingers playing with the cotton-candy tips of her hair, her eyes darting back and forth between mine. She looks so vulnerable right now—lost and confused. Something Hannah typically isn’t. She’s always been confident, edgy, unafraid to go against the grain. Seeing heruncertain—almost fearful—I know I’ll do anything to help her, and another man’s baby or not, I’ll be damned if I abandon her when she needs me the most.

“Alright, beauty. Looks like you’re having a baby. I got you. Anything for you,” I tell her, resigned and heartbroken.

“You’re the best, I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Remember that when I curb stomp Levi if he ever hurts you.”

She chuckles nervously at that, but her posture is more relaxed, a smile playing on her pretty face.

“What did you want to tell me?” she asks.

That I’m in love with you. That I’ve always been in love with you. That I want to start a life with you.

“Oh, uhm, they’re doing a double feature ofHalloweenandFriday the 13that the drive-in this weekend, wanted to convince you to go.”

“Duh. Like I need to be convinced. Scary movies in the summer are always a yes.”

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