Page 33 of Blade: Blade Outlawz MC

An hour later, I finished almost everything my mother needed me to do. The garbage was the last thing I had to take care of, but I would take the can to the curb when I left.

We were at the table. She made chicken salad sandwiches for us, and we had chips and homemade iced tea.

As soon as the food was blessed, my mother wasted no time. “So, I hear you got that Wilson girl locked up in the house. I know that can’t be true because I’ve raised you better than that. I’m going to give you a chance to tell me what’s going on before I go upside your head, but I’m sure I will either way.” She smirked and picked up her sandwich.

While I did what she asked me, I thought about how much I would tell her, but by the look on her face, she knew everything already.

“Don’t try to lie either. Talk.”

My knee lightly bounced under the table. It was bad enough that my brother was disappointed with me; having my mother feel the same would fuck with me.

“It’s true to a degree. She is at my house, but she isn’t locked up. She can move around the house whenever she wants.” I wouldn’t dare tell her that I had her locked up in a room for most of the time she’d been there.

“And why the hell do you have her there? I know you aren’t dating her.” She squinted her eyes.

I rubbed my beard and looked down at my plate.

“To be honest, I don’t know. Initially, it was to get her father’s attention. I wanted him to hurt like he hurt us, but then something shifted in me.” I picked up a chip but then dropped it back on the plate.

“Okay, let’s address these two things separately. As far as you getting her father’s attention as you say, you have to let that go.” She placed her hand over mine. “Your brother wouldn’t have wanted you to do anything but live your life happily. That man will get what’s coming to him when it’s time. It’s not up to you to be the judge or jury over anyone’s life. I’ve watched you over theyears push women away, but something in my spirit is telling me that this one is different. Tell me about what shifted.”

Axe pretty much said the same thing to me about Harold, and I wanted to listen to them, but I still wasn’t sure if I could just let him get away with it. I would have to think about that.

“I can’t even explain it. It’s like, when she’s around, my heart skips a beat. She doesn’t know that, though, because I’ve been fighting it this whole time. I’m afraid of loving her and losing her.” I felt relief finally admitting to what I felt.

My mother squeezed my hand since she never moved it. “Baby boy, that’s a part of life. You love your brother and me with no hesitation. We aren’t meant to live forever, but we also aren’t meant to be alone. If this young lady feels the same way, then allow yourself to experience love outside of us. You are a good person, Dion, and more people need to learn that about you. Plus, I still need some grandbabies, and I don’t know what your brother is doing.” She rolled her eyes. “I’m serious, Son. Open up your heart. Darren would want to see you happy and in love.”

“I didn’t say anything about love, woman.”

She sucked her teeth and rolled her eyes again. I didn’t love Pepper, at least I didn’t think so. I couldn’t be sure because I had never been in love before. I just knew I enjoyed watching her, having sex with her, and hearing her voice. I even got used to that scratching shit she did when she was nervous. I noticed how whenever she colored, she would bite down on the left corner of her lip. Watching Pepper had been my favorite thing to do. It was like watching my favorite movie on repeat. I liked Pepper a lot, but now I was stuck because I wasn’t sure if she felt the same, or if she was pretending to like me because she wanted me to let her go.

“You didn’t have to say anything about love, but I can see you have feelings for her by the goofy grin on your face. You got quietand ventured off to somewhere else in your head, and please don’t tell me.” She put her hands up in surrender and shook her head.

I laughed. I wouldn’t tell her half the shit that went on in my head.

“What if she doesn’t feel the same way?”

“You won’t know until you tell her how you feel. As far as that other thing with her father, let it go, baby. I can’t handle losing another son. I love you, Dion.”

“I love you, too.”

“Now, it may not be today, but you need to think about being honest with her. If for whatever reason she doesn’t feel the same, that’s okay. There is someone out there for you.”

I didn’t want to hear about Pepper not feeling the same way. There is no one else out there, and I wouldn’t find out because Pepper wasn’t going anywhere.

“Okay. Let me get out of here. I’ll handle the trash on my way out. I’ll have to come back for the blankets because I rode my bike.”

“That’s fine. Bring her when you come back.” She winked.

I didn’t say anything because I knew she wouldn’t listen to what I said anyway. I stood from the table and took our plates to the trash before putting them in the dishwasher. I walked over to my mom and pulled her into my arms. The top of her head came to my chin.

“Thanks.” I kissed her forehead and released her.

“Always, baby.”

We walked into the living room, and I grabbed my jacket. I told her I would talk to her later, then left the house.

Thoughts of telling Pepper my feelings were on my mind as I rode home. By the time I got there, I still wasn’t sure if I would tell her right away, but I knew I had to soon.

---