Page 56 of Finding Lord Landry

But what came out of my mouth was, “Because he’s a freaking lord who’s going to get talked into serving in Parliament, and I wouldn’t make a good countess. I have to go.”

I ended the call and threw myself onto the bed again, yanking up the duvet and trying hard not to feel the tsunami of guilt pour over me.

I really was a fucking idiot.

And it was becoming clearer and clearer to me I was also in love with one.

TWELVE

LANDRY

I would not love him against his will.

Alright, fine, Iwould, only because I couldn’t help myself, and I’d been doing it too long to stop now, but I wouldn’t let it show. I wouldn’t keep trying to get him to love me back. That way lay madness.

Kenji didn’t want me. Not for anything but sex. And after three years, I finally accepted that.

So instead, I would guard my heart—build an impenetrable fucking fortress around it—and get on with the next chapter of my life.

Moreover, I would accept the fact that this next chapter would not involve Kenji Toma.

I’d always known, in a half-formed sort of way I hadn’t fully acknowledged to myself, that stepping into the public role of Viscount Hawling, heir presumptive to the Davencourt earldom, would mean stepping away from the possibility of anything romantic with Kenji. That was part of the reason I’d fought it for so long.

Now, though, I was relieved I could throw myself into something so demanding, so all-encompassing, it wouldn’t leave me a single moment to consider crawling back to Kenji and begging for scraps.

I cleaned up in my room after having what would no doubt be my last sexual interlude with the world’s coldest man, then headed down to Nan’s office, entering the room with as much command and confidence as I could.

“Alright, I’ve made some decisions.” I glanced around at the assembled crisis management team. “First of all, if I am going to begin representing the Davencourt family in public, my preferred name is Landry. Not only is it the name everyone in the world associates with this face, but it’s also the surname of the original Viscount Hawling, who was granted the viscountcy after he famously rescued a kidnapped peasant girl who turned out to be a daughter of Queen Anne, secreted out of Windsor dressed in rags. The name Landry has been in my family for over three hundred years, and I rather like being associated with someone who rescued the sole living child of a woman who’d lost seventeen others.”

That got everyone’s attention.

“Needless to say, we don’t need to explain all that,” I went on. “Simply release the news that while my name has not changed, I prefer my middle name, Landry, to Everett. Secondly, if the prime minister calls on me to serve in the House of Lords, I will accept with pleasure. We will announce my recent marriage to Kenji and use it to project stability onto my image to help smooth the transition from model to peer. However, if I’m elected to Parliament and begin serving, Kenji will not be part of it. My intention is to help him retain as much privacy as possible after this initial introduction into society.” I didn’t explain to them that there would come a time in the not-too-distant future when we would end the sham marriage and quietly go our separate ways. That was a problem for a different day. But I did want to set the expectation now that Kenji would not be a part of my long-term publicity plan.

Cards on the table, as Kenji said. Not all the cards, but most of them.

Despite what Cora believed, I had no expectation that I’d actually be chosen to fill my father’s spot, but the process of going through the by-election would at least tick the box on my familial expectation and perhaps bring my father a small amount of joy and comfort.

The heat of Cora’s surprised stare seared the side of my face. I ignored it along with Nan’s look of tender concern.

“So we need a plan to announce those things and address my duplicity. I think we keep it simple and explain that I wasn’t trying to trick anyone; I simply wanted a chance to succeed on my own merit. Now that my father is retiring, it’s time I set aside my childish ways—as they say—and accept the honor and responsibility of helping improve things for the country. I’ll be honest. I don’t believe I’ll be selected, but I’m happy to tell Mr. Baines and Baroness Colborne they can consider me for it.”

Several faces brightened with excitement and began strategizing. Nan stood and approached me. “We need to talk to your father.”

She was right, but the reminder deflated me a bit. “Yes. Is he available now?”

Nan, Cora, and I spent the next couple of hours in my father’s study discussing his retirement and future plans. Thankfully, he was in a clear frame of mind and able to discuss it in great detail, and Nan had the foresight to call in our head solicitor to witness and record the conversation with Dad’s permission. The solicitor consulted with Dad’s office to create the appropriate correspondence to send out after notifying the necessary people.

Nan had already floated the retirement idea to a few people to let them know it was in the works, and I’d done the same with the prime minister.

By the time we finished, my poor father was done for the day. Nan took him to his suite and ensured Reg sent up a meal.

“Where’s Kenji?” Cora asked, meeting me in the kitchen for a curry dinner.

I shrugged. “I asked Mrs. Ashcombe to notify him that dinner would be at six thirty in the kitchen. If he’s not here, that’s his business.”

She lifted an eyebrow. “That’s a fine way to treat your husband.”

I focused on splashing a generous serving of sauvignon blanc into a goblet. “Don’t start.”

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