Page 45 of Lighting Up Christmas

He stopped at the end of a block. The land rose steeply behind him and into the tree line.

“You asked me why.”

Riley struggled to swallow—if only she could blame the sprint masquerading as a walk. He looked so stiff, his expression tight.

“Why?” she whispered, her hand on his arm.

“I wanted more than I deserve,” he said, bitterly. “I have a thriving company. I don’t want to let it go, and yet I felt called to have land. Peace. Grow something as a way to connect with my grandfather.”

Riley held her breath, waiting for more. But Zhang was silent, his head bowed as if in prayer.

“Is he…have you…?” Ugh, how to phrase this. “Has he passed?”

“No,” he said. “He lives with my mother.” His voice rippled with ice. “In her flat in London currently.”

“Oh.” Was that good? Bad? Riley wasn’t sure how to react. “You mentioned…ah….” What had he said last night? She’d been so keyed up—disappointed to walk in the dark park instead of seeing it lit up, but yet thrilled that she was walking with Zhang.

“Roots.” He squatted down and ran his hand over the slim vine. “I chose grapes because the long roots dig deep, searching for water and minerals, and thrive in adversity.”

Riley wondered if he was talking about himself as much as the roots.

“Roots are what make up most of me,” Riley admitted, squatting beside him and running her finger up the dormant vine. “I feel defined by my town and the valley and the family business, but my three brothers never wanted any part of it. My cousins either. They wanted to move away and make their own marks, but I always wanted to stay. Always.”

Zhang regarded her closely, and she realized how close they were to each other. The fog of their breath mingled. What would it be like to be kissed by him? Or could she be brave enough and kiss him first?

His hand reached out toward her, but he dropped it by his side and stood.

“I envy you,” he said. “I’ve planted roots, but I don’t know how to thrive. I can’t stay. I have one foot here, the other with my company in Cupertino. When I’m here, I’m pulled there, and when I’m there…” His shrug was sexy, but it had a defeated edge.

“You are thinking about your land. Your vines.”

“I wanted to do everything myself. Prove to my grandfather that I was worthy.”

Riley felt like he scraped her heart with his words. What was it like to not have the approval of those who should love you the most? Her family had always had her back. She’d always felt supported and loved. If she had a problem, any of them would drop everything and help.

“Zhang,” she said, feeling helpless and for the first time in a long time, at a loss for words.

Zhang huffed a laugh. “Arrogant, I know. There are not enough hours in a day, plus I cannot abandon my employees.”

“Take it day by day,” she urged, feeling the futility of her attraction wash over her and tumble down the steep slope. He would always live at least half of his life more than three hundred miles away.

She might as well run down the hill, jump up, and flap her way back to her truck. “And when you get your website up and your staff in place at Fire Ridge, perhaps you will be able to more comfortably divide your attention between both of your enterprises.”

Gah! She sounded briskly practical, like her aunt. She wanted to slap herself. She was practically encouraging him to break her heart.

“Let’s head back,” Riley said, torn between wanting to stay up here alone with him and all the natural beauty and wanting to get back to reality as soon as possible. “I would have worn my coat if I’d known we were going to play mountain goat.”

They walked back quickly, Riley alternating between praising herself for being practical and letting go of the dream that they could be more than friends and cursing herself for giving up too easily.

So much for Sophia’s pep talk.

“Thanks for listening,” Zhang said stiffly when they were back in the tasting room. Riley rebooted her computer while he made coffee.

“Anytime,” she said, meaning it.

He leaned back against the wine bar, all long, lean, broody, and restless energy she found far too appealing.

“You said you wanted tasting notes.”

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