Page 62 of The Sacred and the Tormented

Night descended. The fire dimmed to coals and the father drifted off to sleep. Arianna smiled when the infant stopped wheezing altogether. A tear leaked down Maya’s face and she took her daughter back, cradling her to her chest, trying in vain to keep her sobs quiet so she wouldn’t wake the child.

RION WATCHED Arianna throughout the night. Saoirse had been right, he was exhausted, but he couldn’t nod off when his mate was surrounded by complete strangers, even if it was apparent they meant her no harm.

They’d be banging on her door tomorrow, begging for her help just like those from his war camp had done.

Arianna smiled at the youngling in her arms and cooed to it whenever the infant became distressed. It’d settle again, curling into her warmth as if it felt safe even with a complete stranger.

Such innocence.

Talon’s words from months ago came floating back. Arianna wanted children. It was something she’d discussed with her childhood friend. Even when she was young, she’d known she wanted to be a mother one day.

His jaw worked.

But how could he give her such a blessing after all the sins he’d committed? Even if Vairik was responsible for manipulating his life, the reality was that Rion had a target on his back. It was something he’d carry for years. Possibly even the rest of his life. If he chose to sire younglings, they’d inherit that very target. His past mistakes already haunted Arianna. He didn’t want it to follow something so innocent too.

He and Arianna had never broached the subject of children. Conall had informed them that conception was easier between mated pairs. And Arianna had never mentioned if she were taking a tonic. If she wasn’t—

He felt his face pale. Arianna was beautiful with an infant in her arms. The way she held it and cherished this small life even though it wasn’t her own. It was magical.

But to have something so vulnerable in the world. To know that one slight of the hand could harm them, kill them.

He wasn’t ready for it. Wasn’t sure he’d ever be ready for it. Just like he’d told his mother, he didn’t deserve such a precious gift.

But if Arianna wanted them—

The mother took her infant back and thanked Arianna profusely before Rion helped his mate stand. She was moving better after Sive’s last healing session. He ventured a guess she might even be ready to travel in a few days.

If Rion were being honest with himself, he didn’t want Arianna anywhere near Niall or Vairik, but he wasn’t sure he had a choice in the matter. Arianna wouldn’t leave her younger sister in their enemy’s hands and neither would he.

Talon and Ravina were both outside waiting for them. They, alongside Saoirse, escorted Rion and Arianna back to their cottage, promising to guard it while they rested. Saoirse mentioned something about a hot bath, no surprise there, but Rion wondered if she were more worried for the half-breed she seemed infatuated with. After what she’d experienced at Niall’s hands, his sister deserved anything as a distraction.

The night was silent save for the crickets chirping in the grass. He glanced up at the stars, soaking in the stillness he’d been missing for far too long. It was here, in these moments, that he regained a sense of peace.

His gaze traveled back down to the markings along his arm. He wondered if he could make them permanent. Every time his mind tried to conjure its panic, the markings would trickle their magic into him. Sive said they worked by pulling energy from the earth. It was such a strange concept, especially compared to how a Fae’s magic pulled from the body. He wondered just how powerful a Weaver could be. Maybe there was no limit.

They entered the cabin minutes later and Rion gently sat Arianna on her feet before helping her out of her clothes. He retrieved a bowl of fresh water for her to wash her face, then pulled on a pair of pants, leaving his torso bare. It’d always been his preferred way to sleep, though if Arianna kept staring the way she was—

The fear of having a child returned to the forefront of his mind. Rion turned away from her, opting to retrieve some of the food from the table. Cara had already informed him she’d be dropping it off.

He returned to the bed and placed a small plate between them. Arianna nibbled on a cracker, her eyes boring into him.

“You’ve been quiet.”

Rion clenched his jaw. Now was not the time to talk about such things. They had too much to do, too many battles to fight. But that was exactly the reason he needed to talk to her. Because if they were on the battlefield or in the middle of the upcoming war—

Rion cleared his throat and stared down at the floor. “Talon told me once that you wanted children.” He swore he could feel his mate smiling down their bond. It only made his heart sink further.

“One day. In the future. Preferably a future where we aren’t at war.” His hands clenched and unclenched around as he struggled for a response. “Do you not want them?”

“I don’t know,” he answered honestly. “I just—” He blew out a breath. “We’re—together—a lot and after what Conall said about mates and younglings—”

“I take a tonic,” Arianna said. Rion looked at her then and the amusement on her face had the stress crumbling from his shoulders. “Zylah helped me with one when we were in the war camp. Others did the same whenever we could find the herbs. I’ve always taken one … just in case.” She looked away and Rion gritted his teeth at the thought of everything she’d been through. At all the things he still didn’t know.

“Then Myrna, my caretaker, helped to supply one when we were in Móirín. Ellie took over the job in Ruadhan. I wouldn’t risk a child while we were in the middle of … all that, no matter the odds.” She took another small bite. “And I don’t really want younglings quite yet.”

“But youdowant them.”

She looked at him again, but Rion couldn’t bring himself to meet her gaze. “Would having a child be so bad?”

---