Page 37 of The Sacred and the Tormented

Arianna’s gaze dropped back to her abdomen.

“You ran,” she whispered. Rion’s shoulders stiffened. “You … left them.” She could hardly believe the words. He’d just saved an entire city of people weeks ago. He’d been more than willing to sacrifice his life for theirs. But with her life on the line—“I don’t understand. Zylah was there. You could have made a difference. What if,” her voice cracked. “What if they all died because—”

“I don’t care.”

She blanched and he sat up, running one hand down his face. He stared at the curtains across the room, but didn’t rise from the bed. Rion’s magic shifted, moving in a pattern she’d come to know all too well. Arianna bit down her fear at the sight of it.

“You don’t mean that.” She tried. “Your mother and sister were there. So many people and—”

Rion whirled on her. “And I don’t care!” His eyes were wide and wild and silver lined the corners. “Let them burn. Let it crumble. Let it all fall.” His chest rose and fell, pain sparking down their bond in spirals she almost couldn’t bear. Rion took a shaky breath, his heart racing. “I’d let this whole gods-forsaken world burn for you and I wouldn’t think twice.”

Silence filled the tiny cottage, save for the sound of his ragged breaths. “Two days,” Rion whispered, his gaze now locked on the floor. “I’ve spent two days counting every breath. Two days wondering if the nightmares that haunted me during those months at that bastard’s hands would all come true. Two days, Arianna, and I haven’t left this room for fear that the next breath could be your last.”

He was shaking and Arianna wondered if his body had done that for two days too. She saw him now. He was balancing on the edge of a cliff and one gust of wind would send him toppling over the edge.

Maybe he’d already fallen.

“I’m not a stranger to fear,” he continued, “I’ve lived with it for most of my life. It was always in the shadows whether I wanted to recognize it or not. I shoved it down for years. Decades.

“The first time I acknowledged it was when I found myself at the mercy of a beautiful female in my war camp. I had no allies. No one I could turn to. I was an abomination and yet she showed me kindness.

“The second time was when that same female was taken from me. When I scented her blood, I thought her dead.” He paused, taking another breath. “I willingly gave myself over to that fear when I allowed her to place her hands on me.

“But those moments werenothingcompared to the ones I faced at Niall’s hands.” Rion swallowed hard and she remained silent. They hadn’t talked about his time in captivity. His voice lowered to a near whisper. “I witnessed your death over and over and over again. I saw you tore apart by our enemies. I saw your blood pooling at my feet.” He shook his head. “Every single time, whether by my hand or another’s.

“I tried telling myself it was just a glamour and that no such thing would ever happen. You were a warrior after all, youcould defend yourself. I’ve watched you do it. So when we stood on that wall and the Dark Fae were closing in, I choked down the instincts screaming at me to hide you away.” He paused again, his throat bobbing.

“Then you fell. You were hurt and I couldn’t get to you in time. My nightmares became reality. Every image Niall had shown me didn’t even come close to the pain I experienced in that moment.” Another pause. “Ifeltyou. As real as if the pain were my own. I—” He paused, shaking his head again. “I sat by helpless.” He stared at his hand. “All this power and I wasnothing. I coulddonothing.”

Arianna’s lips parted, but no words came out. She’d almost lost him once too and she’d nearly drowned in her own fear. She hadn’t even known they were mates yet.

“You’re all I have. I live for nothing and no one but you. If you fall, I go with you.”

“Don’t talk like that. Alastríona would need someone—”

“No.” He said the word so harshly she might have flinched if she didn’t feel his desperation right alongside it. “You will not ask me to do that. You will not command me to live without you. I’ve already lived a life with nothing but shadows for company. I will not be condemned to that fate again. If you leave this world, I go with you.”

Tears blurred her vision. She knew she wouldn’t be able to survive without Rion either. Life would be empty. Meaningless.

He finally looked at her again, then took her hand in his own. “You are my life, Arianna. Without you, I have nothing else.” He wiped a tear rolling down her cheek and his face softened. “Don’t cry.” She couldn’t help it. She hated Niall. Hated every foul thing he’d put her mate through.

Arianna swallowed hard. “The Fae. Thank you for saving them.”

His jaw flexed. “Never again.” She met his gaze. “Even if you hate me for it, I will never risk your life for another’s again. No matter the circumstances.”

She didn’t say anything in return. Rion tried to pull his hand back, but she caught it. A familiar ache echoed down the bond. A lying voice that told him he was a monster and no one wanted him near.

“Your darkness doesn’t scare me.”

He let out a shuddering breath and peered down to the earth still circling his feet. “I’m not … calm, right now.”

“You don’t have to be. I don’t need a mask to love you.”

Even through her nagging fear, she knew who Rion was and the harsh life he’d experienced. What she hadn’t known was the full extent of the damage Niall had inflicted upon an already fractured soul.

Arianna tugged on his hand. “Come here.”

Rion joined her in bed once again. He held her close, pressing his lips to her hair and breathing in her scent over and over as if reminding himself that this was his reality.

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