Page 53 of The Shadow Bride

“I’m fine,” Lou murmurs again, her eyes fluttering shut as she falls against the pillows. “Just a little light-headed.”

“Are you sure?” When she nods, I perch beside her on the edge of Michal’s bed before turning back to Dimitri. “And to be fair, everyone must seem cleanly to you. You’ve been living in a hoarder’s den for the last five hundred years.”

He rests his head against the carved mahogany wood and considers me for a moment. Then— “I threw it all out.”

“What?”

With a solemn nod, he says, “I caught up with Frederic and your sister after leaving the grotto”—my chest freezes to ice—“andhe promised to cure my bloodlust if I cured Filippa. Obviously I didn’t realize the plan he had in mind, and I refused as soon as he revealed it.”

“He wanted you to kill me,” I guess.

He nods again, this time terse. “I should’ve ended his miserable existence right then, but I needed his grimoire first. The sick bastard guarded it jealously—kept it hidden at all times, wouldn’t even let Filippa touch it.” He shakes his head in disgust. “I’m not proud of myself for staying with them. I cannot condone my actions, but I’ve been trying to find my way back to you all since the day I left.”

“Which is why you helped Michal,” I say shrewdly, “when the huntsmen attacked him.”

“I deserve that.” When he sighs again, the sound is softer than before. Defeated. “Of course I deserve that, but... no, Célie. As hard as it might be for you to believe, Michal and I were like brothers once. No matter what we are now, I don’t want to see an axe in his neck.Thatis why I helped him.”

He moves to sit beside me on the bed, leaning forward to brace his forearms on his knees. Rubbing a thumb against his palm. When he looks up again, his eyes are sorrowful. Sincere. And I almost believe him—Iwantto believe him—as he says, “Words can never express how sorry I am about my role in your death. I know you didn’t want to become a vampire, didn’tdeserveto become a vampire, and I will carry that regret with me for the rest of my eternal life.”

I want to believe him so badly.

“It wasn’t—” I swallow hard around the words, my voice a whisper. “It wasn’t all your fault, I suppose.”

The shadows in his eyes deepen as he realizes what the admission costs me. With the ghost of a bitter smile, he wraps an arm around my shoulders and pulls me to his side. “You’re the best of us all, Célie, and I’ve always said it—much too sweet for Requiem.”

They’d been among the first words he ever spoke to me.Sweet creatures never last long in Requiem.

And he’d been right.

My chest constricts with emotion, and suddenly, I cannot look at him anymore. It takes another moment to clear the lump from my throat. “Were you able to steal the grimoire?” I ask at last, already knowing the answer.

“I was not.”

“Then how—?”

“Your sister found a cure.”

“She did?” My attention sharpens to a knifepoint, and I look up hastily, searching his face. “How? What cure?”

“Ah.” He releases me, his smile still a touch bitter as he reclines back on his palms to gaze at the ceiling. “I thought we might reach this little sticking point eventually, but I made a promise never to tell. I intend to honor it.”

Beside me, Lou’s eyes snap open, and she skewers him with a glare. “That isn’t an answer.”

His grin sharpens. “And that’s rather the point.”

“How can we ever trust you if—”

“You can’t,” he says simply. “But let’s be realistic, shall we? There is nothing I can say—no evidence I can provide—that will garner your complete trust after what I did on All Hallows’ Eve. Regrettably, I know this. I accept this. And all I can do is promise”—he sits up, makes careful eye contact with both ofus—“that no harm came to anyone during my recovery. You may choose to believe me or not, and there is nothing I can do to alter your decision. However...”

He spreads his arms wide, gesturing to his chest, his teeth, and his eyes, which blaze with fervent light. “Justlookat me, Célie. I haven’t felt this way—I haven’t felt this—this ateasesince my own transition. Do you understand the miracle of that? Do you understand therelief?” He whirls to Lou next. “That I can sit beside you now—a human, the most powerful witch in the world—and hold a conversation without dreaming of a dozen different ways to kill you is unprecedented. I’ve never experienced it before. In over a thousand years of vampirism, I’ve never had this kind offreedom. I am healed. I am whole. And I will never return to the man I was before.” He seizes my hand then. Squeezes it tight. “If you choose to believeanything, please, Célie, let it be that.”

Over his shoulder, Lou meets my eyes, hers giving away nothing.

Leaving me to make my own decision.

His words are pretty, to be sure, and theysoundgenuine... but I’ve always wanted to believe Dimitri. That’s always been the problem.

Returning my attention to the maelstrom, I ask, “How do we fix this?”

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