My chest tightens at the implication, and I lurch to my feet, striding past them toward the fireplace. When I reach it, however, I pivot on my heel and move toward the bookshelf instead. “That—that isn’t fair. Jean Luc treats me like I’m made of glass, and when I’m with him, I start to believe it too.”
“You’ve never been made of glass, Célie.” I can feel the intensity of Lou’s gaze on my back, and—unable to stand it—I turn to face her once more. “From what I can tell, you’ve befriended vampires and ghosts, infiltrated an enchanted brothel, and single-handedly exposed a necromancy plot since you came to Requiem. Before that, you incapacitated one of the most evil women alive, took oaths to become the first female Chasseur, and survived ahorrific and impossibly violent abduction. Who cares if you cry on occasion? Who cares if you still have nightmares?” She shakes her head. “You may feel like a different person now, but that doesn’t mean you were ever less. It doesn’t mean you were ever weak.”
Coco nods vehemently, still clutching her cup to her chest. “We all do our best with the hands we’re dealt.”
A pause.
“Is different... bad?” I ask them quietly.
To my shock, they both regard me with something that looks like pride. It isn’t condescending, however, as I feared it might be. No, it’s pure, and it’s fierce. It’s—it’sreal.
Grinning at whatever she sees in my expression, Lou pats the chair beside them once more. “Of course it isn’t bad. You’ve changed your cards, that’s all. You’re the one holding the deck now, and the rest of us need to fall into suit.”
“Speaking ofsuits”—Coco’s mouth twitches into a smirk—“did you notice Reid’s tonight? It looked like it belonged to a giant.”
Lou cackles and sprawls across the seat once more. “At least it didn’t havebells. Just wait until Yule—I’m going to have an exact replica of Beau’s costume made and gift it to him in front of his mother. She’ll insist he try it on for us.”
Tentatively, I return to my seat, reaching for my cup of tea and inhaling deeply.Still warm.“Jean Luc will be fine, Célie,” Coco adds after another moment, as if returning to a conversation left unfinished. “I know it seems hopeless right now, but he’ll be fine. Regardless of what he says about a house with an orange tree, you didn’t steal his future. He still has his position, and even if you’d moved into that house with him, even if you’d squeezed those oranges, Saint-Cécile would’ve always been his home. He loves itthere—and he should. He’s worked harder than anyone to change his own hand.”
“Don’t steal my metaphor,” Lou says.
That familiar longing fills my chest as I watch them together, as I think of that house with the orange tree. It would’ve been so easy, so perfect, if I’d fit with Jean Luc. I could’ve lived right there alongside Lou and Reid, Coco and Beau. Though she doesn’t know it, an enormous ruby will soon sparkle on Coco’s finger—because even though they’re different, even though their road together will be long and difficult, Coco and Beau love each other. Theychooseeach other. “I can’t go back to Chasseur Tower,” I say softly. “I won’t.”
“We know.” Lou’s grin turns rather wistful as she hooks my chair again, pulling me closer—closer still—until our wooden legs bump together. “But you shouldn’t worry about that either. You opened the door for about a dozen new initiates to follow behind you—and all of them women, by the way.” Without warning, her hand shoots out and catches my wrist, pulling me into their chair and spilling tea across all of us. Cackling, she says, “One of them knocked Reid on hisassthe other day in the training yard. It was glorious. I think her name is Brigitte.”
“It was the first time Jean Luc smiled since you’ve been gone,” Coco adds, happily dumping the rest of her tea in Lou’s lap. When I yelp and shift away, she happily dumps it on mine too. “He won’t be sad forever, Célie.”
“You won’t be sad forever either.” Lou glances at the silver ribbon still clutched in my free hand. If she notices that I’ve removed the emerald ribbon from my wrist, she doesn’t say. “That’s pretty.” She plucks at its tail. “Useful, too, if tonight is any indication.”
“We certainly aren’t in Cesarine anymore,” Coco says, her smile fading. “Though this place seems about as twisted as the castle. Last week, Beau swore the shadows in our bedchamberwhisperedto us, and the evening before, the entire southern hedge maze just... died. Every leaf withered to ash right in front of his little sister.”
“Melisandre has been acting odd too.” Lou heaves a forlorn sigh. “She won’t eat, and she hardly sleeps.”
“Cats are guardians of the dead,” I murmur. “They’ve been drawn to Requiem since the Necromancer’s first experiment.”
My gaze falls to the ribbon, and the tea on my nightgown abruptly feels colder than before. I haven’t seen Michal since... since the execution, and I don’t know what I’ll say to him when I do. WhatcanI say? The violence I witnessed tonight—already, I know I can never unsee it. It’ll live in my memory for the rest of my life. “I don’t think I can stay here either.”
Lou’s gaze remains sure and steady as she takes the ribbon, brushing my hair to one side before carefully tying it around the heavy strands. “Why not?”
“Because thisplace—it—how can anyone live alongside such cruelty without it changing them?”
Lou and Coco share a long, inscrutable look. It’s a look I don’t understand, perhapscan’tunderstand, and more than anything else, it solidifies my decision. Because I never want to understand that look. I never want to know what it’s like to live in a world like this one—a world where blood is currency and only the strongest survive.
“I don’t know,” Lou says at last. “Only one person can answer that, I think, and I get the impression you don’t want to ask him.You’re welcome anytime in Cesarine, however. My house is always open.”
“As is the castle,” Coco says. “Beau and I would treat you like royalty.”
Unable to help herself, Lou’s eyes glitter with mischief. “But Chateau le Blancislovelier this time of year—”
“Have you visited Beau’s summer palace in Amandine? The entire place iscoveredin roses—”
I force a laugh before the two can seize my arms and engage in a full-blown match of tug-of-war. “I do have one question, though.” When they both turn to me, expectant, I ask, “How did you know sunlight harms vampires? And about compulsion? I never mentioned either in my note.”
“Oh.” Lou brightens, and with the flick of her wrist, the shutters on the windows of the mezzanine shudder slightly before bursting open. When a three-eyed crow swoops down from the eave,tap,tap,tappingon the window, Lou opens it with another flick. The bird soars into the room and lands on her outstretched hand. “Meet my little spy, Talon. As it turns out, he followed me to Brindelle Park on the night of your abduction, and he followedyouonto that wretched ship. He wanted to help, I think.” She strokes his beak, and he closes his eyes in lazy appreciation. “A repulsive man by the name of Gaston locked him in a cage before he could fly back to me, however. When you freed him, he delivered more to us than just your note. Did you not know?” She eyes me curiously. “The three-eyed crow is a symbol of the le Blanc family line.”
Setting my empty cup aside, I yawn and join Lou in stroking the bird’s beak. “It’s nice to meet you, Talon. And—thank you.”Above his head, I meet Lou’s and Coco’s eyes too. “Allof you.”
The bird pecks at my fingers before flying up to perch on the chandelier.