Page 87 of Worthy

″I’m not,” I say evenly.

″You are.” He looks at me sadly. “Katah Vista was never part of your future.”

″You weren’t supposed to be either.” I shrug. “Plans change.”

″They shouldn’t. Not for me,” he insists. “You deserve better.”

I was hoping, after an entire summer together, Cade would be able to accept how important he is to me, but I see he still needs convincing.

″I’m not changing my plans for you. I’m doing it for me.” I take a deep breath and continue. “This is what I want. To be here. Besides, didn’t we agree you were going to stop worrying about what I deserve?” I chew my lip, waiting for his answer.

″We did.” A hint of a smile plays on his lips though his eyes are still sad.

″Good.” His near smile gives me the confidence to continue. “Because the only thing I deserve is to be happy, and the thing that makes me happiest is you.”

″Me?” He winces.

″Is that so hard to believe?”

″Yes. I’m the local playboy. I don’t know how to be a boyfriend or support your career. I’ll only hold you back.” He looks at me sadly.

″I disagree,” I say as calmly as possible. “You were a great boyfriend all summer. You gave me endless support to write my thesis. And you taught me to enjoy the moment. You didn’t hold me back, Cade, you taught me what’s important in life.” I look straight into his eyes, willing him to understand my meaning.

″Don’t say it, Maddox. Don’t sayI’mwhat’s important.” He shakes his head.

″Youareimportant,” I insist. “When are you going to see yourself the way I see you?”

″You see the best in everyone, Madd. But what you think you see isn’t there,” he pleads.

″Let me tell you what I see.” I scoot towards him and take his hand, hoping the contact will bring back the calm we felt outside, and give me the courage to say what I came here to say. He looks down at our joined fingers.

″I see a man who’s humble, honest, and supportive. I see a man who loves to have fun yet puts his responsibilities first. I see a man who acts carefree but feels deeply. And I see a man who’s so selfless he’d give up his own happiness to see someone else find theirs. I know men who possess one or two of those qualities, but not all of them, and none of them make my cock hard when they look at me the way you do.” That earns me a weak laugh, just as I’d hoped for, but he still won’t meet my eyes.

Stroking over his thumb, I try to give him time to process, but when he stays silent, I try again. “There isn’t a better man on Earth than the one sitting in front of me, and I don’t care if I deserve him or not. I want him. I want you, Cade. I love you.”

He inhales sharply and holds his breath, his eyes darting from our joined fingers to meet mine, and I swear they almost look a little glassy.

″And years from now? When you’re still focused on the development of this town instead of making groundbreaking discoveries in a state-of-the-art lab, will you still want me, then? Will you be happy you chose me?” His voice cracks.

″There isn’t any other choice.” I feel my own eyes turning glassy.

Cade reaches up to cup my jaw. “I really can’t convince you to walk away?”

″No,” I whisper.

″Thank fuck,” he exhales, “because I’m damn tired of trying to convince myself I’m okay without you.” He leans his forehead against mine and threads his fingers in my hair. “I love you, Maddox Gerome. I love you so fucking much I haven’t taken a full breath since you left. I’ve never felt as empty as I did without you here, like a piece of me was missing. I don’t ever want to feel that again.”

″You won’t.” I wrap my hands around his neck so I don’t collapse as the nervous tension that was holding me up seeps out of me.

″Good,” Cade whispers, right before he touches his lips reverently to mine, and my heart beats for what feels like the first time in a month. This, in Cade’s arms, is where I’ve always belonged.

″God, I’ve missed you Maddox,” he mumbles against my lips. “I missed holding you. Touching you.” His kisses morph from tender and loving to firm, insistent. Making up for lost time.

″I missed you, too.” Heat explodes throughout my body as his tongue drives inside my mouth to find mine. We cling together, tongues clashing, urgent, searching, as our hands fumble to get rid of our clothes.

Our lovemaking is urgent yet tender, carnal but passionate, both of us starved for each other but conscious of the magnitude of this moment. For the first time, Cade’s allowing himself to believe he has value, that he deserves me just as much as I deserve him. It’s everything I was afraid to hope for, and now it’s real.We’re real.

After our need has been temporarily sated, Cade cradles me against his chest, stroking my back as our breathing returns to normal.

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