Page 84 of Worthy

″I didn’t tell him because he deserves the best, and the best isn’t me or this town. Not for someone like him,” I say firmly.

″Someone like him?” Rick prompts.

″Yeah. Someone who’s brilliant and wants to do good things with that knowledge. He should be surrounded by people who can give him those opportunities. He won’t find them in Katah Vista or with me. He deserves better.” I’m practically shouting at this point, but I’m damn tired of having to justify why he’s better without me.

″Forget about what he deserves,” Rick scoffs. “Think about what he wants. Do you even know what that is?”

″Do you?” I retort.

″I used to,” Rick insists. “But like I said, he’s different now. He’s different since he met you. I think the only way to know what he wants is to ask him.”

I stare at him, dumbfounded. “What, just call him up out of the blue and ask what he wants to do with his life? Ask if he wants me to be part of it? Is that what you’re saying?”

″Yes,” he shouts, startling both of us. He shakes his head, takes a deep breath, and continues. “I appreciate that you’re trying to think of what’s best for him, but it’s not your decision to make. It’s his.”

″Can’t you see, by not asking him, I’m keeping him from making a bad decision.” I reason. “How could I live with myself if he gave up his dream career for me?”

″From where I’m standing, it looks like you’d sacrifice anything for him. I fail to see how that makes you a bad decision.” Rick crosses his arms, almost daring me to object, which makes no sense considering he seemed pissed at me just a few minutes ago.

What the hell? Why is everyone hell bent on me trying to make things work with Maddox? Can’t they see that’s a selfish thing to do? I don’t want to be the selfish bastard anymore. I don’t want to be the guy who thinks of himself at the expense of others. I’m finally putting someone else’s needs before my own, and even though it’s gutting me to live without him, I’d rather do that than be the reason he loses his dream.

I hate that Madd’s hurting, and I’d do anything to take that away. Anything but what Rick’s asking. I won’t ask him to give up everything and I won’t have him grow to hate me later for forcing him to choose between his future and loving me.

″We’re talking in circles here Rick,” I exhale, shaking my head in defeat. “I’m messing up Maddox’s future.”

″You’re not going to tell him that you love him?” He arches a thick brow.

″It’s because I love him,” I say softly. “If he knew… If he knew he might say it back. And if he says it back he might walk away from everything he’s worked for to be with me. As much as I want that, I can’t do that to him. And I can’t leave here, either. Why would I ask him to give up everything when I wouldn’t be willing to do the same?”

Rick throws his hands in the air and turns to my dad. “Is he always this stubborn?”

″Not usually, no.” Dad sounds almost sad. Hopeless, even.Fuck.

I storm off before I can hear Rick’s response. I can’t stand here and talk about Maddox anymore or listen to Rick and my dad talk about me. I don’t care that Rick’s the client and I’m supposed to be niceto him. I don’t care that I’m walking out on my dad. I just can’t be here anymore. All I care about is erasing this day from memory in the nearest bottle. Maybe then, I’ll forget what Rick said about Maddox loving me.

Chapter twenty-three

Maddox

My heart beats wildly as I sit on the front step, waiting.

I can’t remember the last time I was this nervous. Even presenting my thesis didn’t leave me this jumpy. I wipe my sweaty palms on my pants, cursing the fact that my anxiety can’t be limited to a racing heart and a queasy stomach. Sweaty palms are so embarrassing.

Not for the first time, I wonder if I’m doing the right thing. My heart says yes, but my mind isn’t as sure. I replay the events that led me here, hoping they’ll give me some reassurance...

″Uncle Rick?” I mutter as I open the door.

″It doesn’t sound like you’re happy to see me.” He steps inside to give me a hug.

″Just surprised. I thought you were in Katah Vista to see the work on the house.” I close the door and lead him to the living room to sit down. “Do you want something to drink?”

″No, I can’t stay very long.” He sits at one end of the couch while I take the other. “I probably shouldn’t be here at all,” he continues, “but I’d feel guilty if I never said anything.”

″Said anything about what?” I’m suddenly very nervous. Rick and I are close, but this is a little out of character for him.

He braces his arms on his legs, wrings his hands together nervously. “I saw Cade,” he blurts.

At the mention of his name, I freeze. I’ve thought about him daily, all-day every-day more accurately, but I haven’t heard anyone say his name since I got home. It has a bigger impact than I expected.

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