Page 83 of Worthy

That’s… Oh my God.That’s what he said at the airport when I said the flower wouldn’t wilt.Holy fuck that’s… Sweet?

Nah. I mean, it’s sweet he put it where he can see it every day, but that’s not the right word.

Sentimental? It’s that too, but sentimental isn’t right either.

Meaningful. It’s fucking meaningful, just like he saidhewould be when he taunted me about being a notch on my bedpost.

Fuck I miss him.

Oh shit, Rick’s still staring at me.

Am I smiling? Or staring at nothing?Even good memories of Maddox can leave me feeling empty, so I have no idea what expression he sees right now. I try to make my face blank.

″Well, technically metal doesn’t wilt.” That sounds like an excuse, a dismissal, even to my ears, despite the fact every word is true. But I won’t say more because it’s not my place to tell him what Maddox might have been thinking when he framed the flower. Or what I wish he was thinking.

″You know, Cade,” Rick glowers, “I’m tempted to deck you right now for making him so miserable, but since you look just as awful as he does, I’m guessing he isn’t the only one with a broken heart. What the hell happened?”

Dad’s eyes dart back and forth between me and Rick, like he’s not sure whether to be alarmed by this confrontation, but I’m too distracted by what Rick said to think about his anger. A broken heart? That doesn’t make any sense.

″You think he has a broken heart?” It comes out as barely a whisper.

″He’s not the same person he used to be, and I can’t think of another explanation for that. So, are you going to tell me what happened?” he demands, fisting his hands on his hips.

″Nothing happened.” I clear my throat. “Not like you’re thinking, anyway.”

″What am I thinking?”

″That I somehow took advantage of him, but it’s nothing like that. I respect Maddox more than anyone I’ve ever met, and all I want is to see him achieve the dream he came here to work on.” I try to sound happy. Optimistic on Madd’s behalf. I don’t think it works.

“Your answer still doesn’t explain why you’re both lonely and depressed.”

″He’s lonely?” I wince.

″And depressed,” Rick adds.

I’m not sure how to react to this. I assumed the reason I didn’t hear from Maddox was because he was able to put me out of his mind, not because he was miserable. Did I really cause him to feel that way? Did I end up being the distraction I always swore I wouldn’t become? If so, I may have put his career in jeopardy.Shit.

″Did he pass his thesis?” I hold my breath, waiting for the answer.

″Yes,” Rick says curtly.

″What’s he going to do now?” I ask softly.

″I don’t know. I don’t think he knows. We’ve all been wondering why that is, when he was so driven before. Now I understand.” He eyes me critically.

″I’m sorry.” I hang my head. It’s not enough, but I don’t know what else to say. I’m not sure there’s anything you can say when you screw up someone’s future. I never should’ve let myself get close to him.

″Sorry for what? Sorry you let him go? Or sorry he fell in love with you?”

″You think he’s in love with me?” I blink as my jaw drops.

″It would explain how he’s acting.”

For a moment, the weight in my chest vanishes. Maddox in love with me are the words I’ve wanted to hear for so long, and even though it’s not him saying them, it makes me so fucking relieved to hearit. But all too soon the weight comes crashing down again. Even if it’s true, it doesn’t change anything.

″I’m sorry, Rick, I don’t think you’re right,” I choke. “He never told me that.”

″Cade, I’d be remiss if I didn’t point out you’re in love with him, and you didn’t tell him how you felt either,” Dad says, almost guiltily. Rick looks at me with raised eyebrows.

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