Page 80 of Worthy

“Hey now.” His grip tightens on my shaft. “I’m pretty sure my cock is responsible for giving you hours of pleasure this summer, so inferior is a strong word. I’m just saying I appreciate the additional feature on yours. I’ll probably think of it when I’m touching mine.”

“Because it’s superior?”

“Because of those sinful noises you make when I touch it.” He swipes his finger over the silky flesh, and as if on cue a sensual, throaty groan rumbles from my lips. “Just like that.” Cade nips at my earlobe before sucking it into his mouth, sending a gentle shiver through my body. The subtle jolt spurs him to slot his cock between my thighs, where he lets it rest while he slides his fist over my dick.

It's the most delicious torture, a hint of the lazy mornings we won’t have, and a tender goodbye rolled into one. Erotic and sweet, heartfeltyet heartbreaking, and while normally I wouldn’t consider myself to be overly sensitive or emotional, especially during sex, right now I’m anything but.

If I could freeze time, I’d do it, so this moment never has to end. But in addition to having a flight to catch, Cade’s affectionate touch is taking me to the point of no return, and I don’t want to finish in his hand.

I reach for the lube on the nightstand, which is just far enough away that it takes me out of his grasp. “Roll over. On your side,” I tell him as I slather my cock and line up behind him.

It’s cowardly, but I can’t look at him while we do this. I have a feeling if we lock eyes one of us will learn something we’re better off not knowing, and since we’re about to part on good terms I don’t want to screw that up.

The first push nearly undoes me, same as it always does. Yet, I grit my teeth and keep moving until I’m fully seated, and we’re forcing ourselves to take even breaths.

“Good?” I rasp next to his ear.

He nods, and I begin my slow retreat. My even slower return. Back and forth, long and deep, I slide my cock inside his body, trying to commit the sensation to memory. The friction, the heat, the pressure, though what I’ll remember most is how we’ve somehow managed to link our fingers together above his head.

A series of pleas tumble through my mind as we come together.Come with me. Ask me to stay. Tell me you love me.Rather than speak them aloud I snake my free hand over his hip and find his dick, hugging him to me as I pump his heavy cock to the beat of my steady thrusts.

It’s not physically possible to get any closer, yet with each roll of my hips I try for the impossible, as if holding him tight enough, burying myself deep enough, could make us one.

“Come for me.” I speak my final plea in Cade’s ear, and blink back the gathering tears as our bodies function as one for the last time.

***

I toss a few pairs of shorts in my suitcase as Cade emerges from the shower, wrapped in just a towel.

I hold my breath, too afraid that if I let it out I’ll word vomit all over him. Instead, I let my eyes roam over the man a final time, committing his image to memory.

The broad shoulders that carried me down the trail.

The strong arms that held me at night.

The lean, muscled torso that made my knees weak.

The rough fingers that touched me so gently.

And the eyes, those piercing blue eyes that I get lost in when he looks at me.

Physically, Cade surpasses every fantasy man I’ve ever conjured, and in that respect, I doubt I’ll ever be as attracted to another as much as I am to the guy in front of me. But what I feel for him goes beyond the physical. He’s the first person to take my choices at face value and support them unconditionally. And he’s the first person to make me feel truly beautiful, inside and out. Sexy even. I don’t have worlds of experience with men, but Cade is nothing like men I’ve dated in the past, which makes me fairly certain I’m getting the last look at the one who will prove to be the love of my life.

I take a fortifying breath and try to keep my emotions in check by taking a page from Cade’s book. “I’m going to miss this view.” I lick my lips as my gaze roams over him.

″I knew it, you wanted me for my body all along,” he responds in kind. He knows I’m joking to keep things light, but there must be some part of him that’s going to miss this, or he wouldn’t be flirting without abandon. I take some comfort in knowing that even if he doesn’t love me, he cares enough to be sad I’m leaving, and he’s trying to hide his emotions by flirting.

Suddenly, he strides toward me and engulfs me in a hug, guiding my head to rest against his neck. I take a moment to savor his smooth skin, the faint smell of masculine soap. Cade rests one hand on my back and strokes my hair with the other. We both know this is the last intimate embrace we’ll share, and neither of us seems ready to let go. But if I can’t live my life with Cade I need to move forward. That means I have a plane to catch.

I kiss his collarbone softly before pulling back and returning to my suitcase. I watch him dress and toss his clothes in a duffel bag from the corner of my eye as I finish my packing, trying to make myself believe we’re packing for a trip instead of the return to our separate lives. When there’s nothing left, we close up the house, parking my uncle’s Subaru in its new garage home, and head to the truck so Cade can drive me to the airport.

It’s not a quick drive, but it’s mostly silent. We don’t have future plans to talk about, like what we want to do for dinner, or how we want to spend the weekend, topics that might otherwise come up. We don’t even hold hands like we normally do. He does ask about the process to finish my thesis, and I tell him about having to present and defend my conclusions to my professors, but the topic seems to make him uncomfortable, and we quickly revert to silence.

I’ve never felt this uncomfortable with Cade, not even during our earliest encounters when he flirted outrageously and put me on the defensive. At least the banter we had then was playful, not awkwardlike this silence is. As much as I don’t want to leave, I can’t wait to be out of this truck. I don’t want this strange feeling to be my last memory of our time together.

When we get to the airport, Cade takes me to the passenger drop off instead of parking to accompany me inside, and I’m oddly relieved our goodbye will be over soon instead of being drawn out at the ticket counter or the security gate. He pulls my bags from the trunk and passes them over to the attendant who checks me in.

And then it’s here. Our final goodbye.

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