Page 68 of Worthy

″So, haven’t you got him out of your head, yet?” Deacon scoffs.

″Not even close.” I set my box down and open the door, holding it ajar so he can pass.

″But you’ve been practically inseparable. How is that possible?” He steps inside and sets the toolbox on the floor.

″I don’t know,” I fib, because no way I’m telling Deacon how I really feel. I barely understand it myself, not only because I’ve never been serious about anyone, but I always figured if and when it happened, it’d be because of a girl. This urge to be around Madd all the time is new on so many levels, but the one thing it isn’t is scary. I may act oblivious, but I know why that is, I’m just not ready to admit it. “I’m just always anxious to see more of him.”

″That’s not like, boring, or anything? The same guy every night?” He looks at me skeptically, assuming I’m only talking about sex. I know it wasn’t too long ago I thought the same way, but right now I struggle to believe I ever thought sex was the only thing I could get from another person, or that monogamy could be boring.

Putting aside the fact I’m not always trying to get in Madd’s pants when I’m with him, our chemistry is off the charts. By now, I’ve got a pretty good handle on what he likes, which I’d never know if I’d walked away after that first night, and knowing I can give him what he craves… It makes me want to beat my chest like a caveman.

I’ve always believed myself to be a generous lover, observing what a woman likes so I can be sure she gets what she needs during our encounters. But I’ve never been as fascinated by a woman’s reactions as I am by Madd’s. I never paid much attention to those little cues until him, and now I’m proud to say I know the difference between the sounds he makes, and how to use that knowledge for his benefit.

Maddox inhales sharply when he feels something he enjoys, like when I push all the way inside him. If I do that slowly, it’s followed by a soft grunt, faster a moan. If I hit a particularly sensitive spot, the moan gets higher in pitch, and if I keep at it, I can get him to scream. My favorite is when I bring him to the brink and back off, which has him grasping and pawing at me with a needy growl.

Before Madd, moans, groans, and screams all meant the same thing; yes. Now, they could mean faster, slower, harder, right there, more, or I’m coming. And I friggin love how I can speak that language.

″Honestly, I think it’s better with one.” I’m not going to betray Madd’s dignity by saying any more, even to my cousin.

″Dude, you’re kind of scaring me with that talk.” I swear he actually shivers.

″Then don’t listen.” I haul my box inside and turn to leave. “If you want a bunch of different women, go to the parade and find a few. You won’t have any trouble.”

I send Deacon on his way with a promise to find him in town. I know I’m disappointing him by not being there for him this summer, and I feel bad about that. Not bad enough to waste any of the time I have with Maddox, though. I’ll always have Deacon, but I may not always have him.

Maddox and I make the short drive to town and deliver my truck to Beck in the parking lot where they’re staging the parade. We make plans to meet at The Underground later so I can get the keys back, but Maddox and I head there now since Dex usually sets aside a spot for us right out front.

The crew is already there when we arrive, and I pour Maddox a Bloody Mary from one of the pitchers Ally brought with her in a little camping wagon.

″Wow, you guys come prepared.” He takes the plastic cup I hand him.

″We’ve been doing this a long time.” Dex lifts his cup. “Tradition.”

″Yep.” Ally nods. “Breakfast and drinks along the parade route, lunch at Ryder’s since his house is just a few blocks away, fireworks in the park, finish at The Underground.” She toasts Maddox.

″What is it with this town and your all-day parties?” He wonders aloud. “I don’t know where you find the stamina.”

″Tradition,” Dex says again.

″Pace yourself,” I whisper to Maddox with a quick kiss to his cheek, which earns me a scowl from Deacon and heart eyes from Ally.

We have an hour before the parade starts so I grab a barstool from one of the outdoor tables lining the street and pull Maddox between my legs so I can bear some of his weight. An endless stream of friends and neighbors pass by on their way to find a spot, and normally, I’d get up and talk to each and every one to pass the time, but right now I’m content to just nod hello while I hold Maddox to me and run my finger along the smooth skin of his hip just underneath his shirt. Not to tease him, but to commit the feel of him to memory.

″Have you ever been in the parade yourself?” Maddox absently runs his hand over my thigh as we watch people pass.

″A few times. Mostly as a kid when different classes or clubs made a float. I drove Beck’s float a few years ago, but then you don’t get to just enjoy the day, so now I lend him the truck every year.”

″Is he an only child, too?”

″Yep. I used to get stuck watching him when our parents would hang out, and he’d make me watch cartoons and play superheroes.” I pretend to shudder.

“How awful for you.” Madd snorts.

“When I was fourteen it was,” I defend myself. “He’s always been on the small side, so he looks younger than he is, and he’s kind of a dreamer so he gets lost in his head a lot. Plus, his mom taught dance at the rec center and made him take all her classes. The other kids couldn’t really identify with him, so I’ve tried to look out for him and include him with my friends once he was old enough.”

″I can see how that would make him like the brother you never had.” His fingers dance along the underside of my knee.

“Beck’s a good kid. I tease him about being like my annoying little brother, but I love him like he really is.” That’s the first time I admitted to anyone, including myself, how deep my affection for Beckett is. It’s kind of a big deal since I’ve never really been a ‘feelings’ guy, andMaddox must realize it because he rescues me before I can analyze it further.

---