Page 47 of Worthy

″Why?”

″Well, this section is fun with the big drops–” I gesture to the rocks we’re stepping over, “--but it’s more technical so you have to watch your speed. If you ride the trail the way we’re hiking it you have a steep but short climb to start, and more of a rolling hill to finish, so you get more speed and sort of float down the trail.”

“Floating?” He snorts. “Over dirt?”

“Don’t knock it till you try it.”

“I’ll stick to surfing. I likesofter landings.”

“Fair enough, although if you ever want to trade surf lessons for bike lessons, I’m game.”

″Hmph,” he grunts. “So, you bike this trail all the time, do you ever hike it?”

″Not for years, no.” I shake my head.

″Why now?” He glances at me sideways as we trek along.

″Uh, because you’re hiking now?” I thought that was obvious.

He stops and looks at me. “No, I mean why did you ask to spend time with me now? You’ve never done that before. I didn’t think you wanted to.”

″I wouldn’t say I didn’t want to.” I rub the back of my neck.

″Were afraid to, then,” he presses.

I nod, because there’s no point denying that. “I told you why.”

″What changed?”

I’m not really sure what he wants me to say here. All I know is I’m tired of fighting this, and that I won’t stop him from taking a risk on me if I’m what he really wants.

″You told me not to make decisions about what you deserve.” I lift my shoulders.

″I told you that days ago, why are you listening now?” His cloudy gray eyes bore into mine, but I can’t tell if that’s because he’s confused, upset, or just plain curious.

I was hoping the fact I listened would be enough, but I guess I have to admit everything.Fuck it.

″I like you. I think you like me. I’m tired of trying to ignore that or tell you it’s a bad idea.” I hold his stare, hoping that makes it easier for him to believe me after I spent so long trying to push him away.

″You don’t think you’re bad for me anymore?” His round eyes narrow to slits.

″Of course, I’m still bad for you,” I tell him honestly. “I’m still the selfish guy who lives to have fun and has no idea how to be with just one person, and has never even been with a guy. I can’t for the life of me figure out why that doesn’t bother you, but I don’t think it does. You know what you’re getting with me, and if that’s what you want, I won’t stop you, because I damn sure want you.”

″You want to sleep with me,” he concludes.

″No. I mean yes, I do, ever since the first time I saw you. And I admit back then I was focused on getting you into bed, because that’s all I’ve ever focused on, and I really wanted to explore getting it on with another dude. But that’s not my end goal now.”

Madd cocks his head to the side, giving me a suspicious once-over. “What is?”

“Honestly? I’m not even sure. I just know you make me want to be a better person, so if all we do is hang out and never fuck, I’d be cool with that. Full disclosure, I’ll probably jerk off to the fantasy of it, but I wouldn’t act on it if that’s not what you want. And if you do—” I rub my neck “—I just want to be around you. Only you. For however long you’re here.”

By the look on his face, he’s just as stunned by my admission as I am, though I meant every word. I want him, and if he feels the same, I’m not going to block it anymore. The question is, does he want me, or did I screw this up already? I can’t tell.

He’s too quiet beside me, staring out over the landscape with his trademark pensive expression that tells me nothing.What is he thinking?The silence is eating me alive and I’m not sure I can take it much longer.

Just as I’m about to snap, Madd's hand shoots out, grabbing my shirt in his fist and yanking me to him, crushing our mouths together.

Chapter thirteen

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