Page 65 of Beautifully Complicated

“What are you doing here?” I roll back from the desk when Aiden lets himself into my office. It’s the first time he’s been in this room since that fateful day when we first saw each other again back in August, and while I’m always happy to see him, I’m confused by this sudden change in our usual pattern.

We’ve never made a rule about it or anything, but I’m fairly certain we both know being alone in this room is too much temptation. It’s different in the lab, where there’s work to be done, and the possibility that anyone else might walk in. But I can lock my office door, so by unspoken agreement we avoid that lure.

“I wanted to see you.” He closes the door, and I can’t be certain, but it’s possible I hear a faint click as he does.

“You just saw me in the lab this morning.”

“Yes, but I didn’t see you for nearly five days before that since campus was closed, and all we did this morning was work.” He strides across the room, rounds my desk, and perches his ass on the edge, right in front of my chair, putting his crotch in line with my mouth.

I clear my throat. “That’s what we do in the lab. Work.”

“True.” He cocks his head to the side and gives me a sensual once-over. “But during those five days I didn’t see you, I started wonderingwhyI didn’t see you.”

“You said it yourself; campus was closed.”

“I could see you off campus.” He drags his tongue along his lower lip in the way he knows I love.

“We got away with that once, I’m not sure we should do it again.”

“I’m not suggesting we go out in public. I’m suggesting we could meet at your place, where no one would be the wiser.”

My cock starts to fill behind my zipper, clearly on board with this idea, but all the blood hasn’t run south yet.

“Leanbh, as much as I want to say yes, it’s an unnecessary risk.”

“In what way? Do you live on campus? Have a roommate? Is your front door monitored by the university?”

“That’s not the kind of risk I’m worried about.” I fight to keep my body under control, because I’ve always found assertive Aiden sexy, and that’s not the way I should be thinking of him right now, at work, where any number of my colleagues could be just on the other side of the door.

He throws his hands up in exasperation. “Well then what are you talking about? Because from where I’m sitting, we could be putting ourselves out of this misery starting today.”

Fisting my hands so tight the knuckles turn white I tell him, “I’m afraid if I let myself cave any more than I already have I won’t be able to stop. I’ll want to touch you every time I see you, steal kisses when I think no one’s looking, drag you in here and block out the world while I do dirty things to you. But if I don’t touch you at all, maybe the cravings won’t get any worse.”

The words that were intended as a warning have the opposite effect and leave Aiden biting his lip as he rolls his hips, creating friction on the prominent bulge in his jeans.

“This is exactly what I’m talking about,” I hiss. “You’re just thinking about it, and you’re damn near writhing on my desk.”

“That’s because it’s been so long. And what if you’re wrong?” His eyes flutter shut as he tries to keep his pelvis still. “What if a calculated risk in the privacy of your home makes it so that we can behave at work?”

My body wants me to give in, to mimic Aiden’s gyrations, but I still have concerns.

“What if I can’t get my guard up once I let it down? Right now, I can just barely look at you without the lust taking over. I have to physically tear my eyes away from you before I broadcast what I’m thinking. It’s why I’m so careful to avoid you outside the lab.”

“You can still avoid me outside the lab if that makes you feel better, just don’t avoid meperiod.”

I suck in a ragged breath. “Is that how you feel? Like I’ve been avoiding you?”

Aiden stills, casting his eyes downward with a slight shake of his head. “No. I mean, I know you aren’t, but it does sometimes feel that way.”

The last thing I’d ever want to do is make Aiden think he’s anything less than the most important thing in my life. I thought I was showing him how important he is by putting his future first, but maybe that’s not enough. Maybe he needs tofeelthat instead of just knowing it.

No wonder his vulnerable side is coming out. In a bold way, but maybe that’s a defense mechanism. Asserting himself to hide his vulnerability.

Resting my palm on the outside of his thigh, I give his leg a gentle squeeze. He sighs and brings his eyes to mine.

“Nothing can change here. If anything, we need to be even more careful. No contact outside the lab. All communication only about work, and only through email. And absolutely zero touching, even if we think we’re in the clear.”

Aiden looks at my hand on his leg, and I pull it back like I’ve been shocked, earning myself a frustrated huff.

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