Page 62 of Beautifully Complicated

“No one. Stop worrying.” I pour myself a glass and sit at the opposite end of the island, as far from Bennet as I can get, which only makes him scowl harder. I’m half convinced he’s about to snort smoke when his face abruptly softens, and he slumps forward.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Damien, but you know that was about the shit in my own head, not you, so why are you punishing me with your secrets?”

He thinks I’m… Oh boy.

“That’s not what I’m doing.” I shake my head to back my words up.

“Says the guy who won’t tell me the name of his friend.” Bennet crosses his arms in front of his chest.

“I’m not withholding his name in some sort of revenge plot, I’m protecting him. And me.”

“Hold up.” He lifts a hand in astopmotion. “This is aboutprotection? That’s whatI’mfor. Me and all your other roommates. You have a problem, we’ll fix it. Who’s giving you a hard time?”

“No one.”

“Who’s giving your friend a hard time then?”

“No one,” I insist. “I’m not in any trouble, Bennet. I promise.”

“Then what’s with all the secrecy and talk about protection?”

“I—” My jaw tries to form words, but none come out.

“Did I ruin our friendship by being secretive about Damien?” Bennet looks more distraught than I’ve ever seen him, and that includes after blowing his ACL and learning he might not play football again. I’ve always wondered if he was just putting on a brave face when he said he’d be okay if he never played again; now I can say for sure he wasn’t. But is he really that concerned aboutme?

I guess he values our friendship more than I’ve given him credit for these past few months.

“You didn’t ruin our friendship. I’ve…” I take a fortifying breath. “I’ve kind of gotten involved with someone I’m not supposed to, and I haven’t said anything because it would look bad for both of us if people knew. Plus, I didn’t want to force anyone to keep that secret since it would put them in an awkward spot.”

Protecting my roommates isn’t something I thought about until this moment, but once the words are out, I realize how valid they are. Knowing about me and Kier would make my roommates complicit, and I don’t want to do that to them.

Bennet isn’t having it though.

“Isn’t it more awkward to keep secrets? I thought you would’ve figured that out after what happened when I did it.”

“What do you mean?”

He looks at me like I’ve grown another head. “You found out I didn’t tell you about Damien and suddenly you’ve got all these projects and shit and you’re never around. You were clearly avoiding me.”

Shit!If I tell him the truth about that he’ll beat himself up over not seeing that I had a major crush on him, and the awkward cycle will just continue. I don’t want to lie, but that might be the best option here. Or maybe I can just selectively tell the truth.

“I was a little hurt…”True. “And upset at myself for not catching on sooner.”Also true. “But I wasn’t just avoiding you, I was avoiding a house full of couples when I was the only single guy.”God is that true.

“We made you feel weird in your own house?” Bennet looks like he’s about to be sick.

“Not weird, just…single.” I shrug since I don’t know how to explain that any better. “But I’m not now, so don’t feel like you have to do anything different.”

“Yeah, back to that.” Bennet’s frown returns. “I’m not thrilled about this wholedating someone you shouldn’tthing. What does that even mean, anyway? Are there rival computer science programs? Or is this one of those things where he goes against everything you believe, like you say the Earth is round and he says it’s flat, and you’re trying to protect your reputation?”

I shake my head. “No, it’s nothing like that.”

“Well, is he a criminal? Old enough to be your dad? You don’t have a stepbrother, right?”

“No, eew—my dad’s seventy-five, and no, we don’t have any non-blood-related family ties.”

“Well, fuck Aiden. If it’s not any of those things I don’t see what the big deal is. The only other even remotely forbidden thing you could do is date a professor, and you’d never—” Bennet cuts himself off at the last second as realization sinks in. “The book guy?” He stares at me slack-jawed.

“Hmm?” I feign confusion even though I know my face is red enough to give me away.

---