Page 44 of Beautifully Complicated

Who was that guy that approached me a few years back with an idea for a new company? I politely declined since I was in the middle of a breakthrough with one of my algorithms, and I didn’t want to split my attention between the research and starting a business. Now that I have Aiden, the research can continue even if I’m not doing it full time, so it’s much more feasible to explore a startup without losing valuable time.

I wonder if that guy is still around somewhere.

As per usual, once an idea pops into my head it’s damn near impossible to keep the wheels from turning. But Aiden’s genuinely worried—aboutus—and I need to put his mind at ease.

Breaking all the rules I’ve set for us, I stretch my hand out. Aiden stares at it for a second, almost as if he’s waiting for me to take it back. When I don’t, he puts his hand in mine, and I lace our fingers together.

“It’s going to work out, Leanbh.”

He gives me a timid smile.

“Where’s that adventurous man I met at the bar? The one who stepped out of his comfort zone to buy me a drink.”

“He’s afraid of losing the thing he wants most in the world.” His words cut straight to my heart, making it thud heavily in my chest. “Besides, I said I wastryingto push my boundaries a little, not that I’d overcome them. I could be anyone I wanted that night because you wouldn’t know any different, so it was a whole lot easier to act confident when you had no reason to think I wasn’t. And plus, I didn’t have anything to lose that night. Now…” His brow wrinkles as his words trail off.

I do actually get what he’s saying about putting on a different face for me. It’s one of the reasons I probably wouldn’t have accepted his drink offer had I known I was familiar to him. It would’ve meant I had to be who he expected, and even though that’s not much different than who I am, I still would’ve felt pressure to live up to his expectations.

And now, sometimes it’s easier to act confident in front of strangers than to be vulnerable in front of friends, so the fact he’s letting me see his fear just endears him to me that much more. Since that fear is losingme…

God, I wish I could kiss him right now.

“Do you trust me, Leanbh?”

“You know I do.”

“Good. I have several plans. I don’t know which will be the best option, but the only thing that’s not an option is being kept apart from you any longer than necessary. Okay?”

The corner of Aiden’s lip pulls up slightly as he nods. Then he squeezes my fingers and lets go, showing me some of the strength I know is in there, even if he’s not feeling it in spades right now.

“You know, you never told me why you call me that,” he says.

“Leanbh?”

“Yeah. I know what it means—I looked it up—but why choose that for me?”

I’ve never stopped to consider this since it just felt right from the very start, but for once I don’t have to analyze my answer before I give it. “That’s what my dad has always called my mom. Even before I knew what it meant, the tone he used was so clearly special. Something reserved just for her. I’m not even sure he knew he was doing it, just like I didn’t realize I was doing it with you at first. Once I did—” I shrug sheepishly “—that’s just who you are to me.”

“God, could you be any more perfect?” Aiden groans with an eye roll that’s obviously intended to downplay the moment since he can’t respond the way he wants.

“Maybe. I watched the first Spiderman movie.” I wink in return.

Aiden’s jaw drops in that way you see people do when they’re exaggerating their surprise, which should be innocent enough, but gives me salacious flashbacks about what can fit in that mouth. I have to shake my head to clear it, so that memory doesn’t lead to other untimely reactions.

“You watched an animated film? For me?”

“I told you I was starting to see them in a different light after you raved about Spiderman.”

“And?” He’s so eager for my response he rocks forward on the balls of his feet.

“I identified with the main character far more than I expected to.”

“He’s so real, don’t you think?” Aiden’s whisky eyes seem to sparkle. “And his struggle about trying to live up to his father’s expectations… What man hasn’t lived that himself? Not to mention, the animation is gritty instead of fluffy, so it feels more authentic.”

“Whoa,” I laugh. “I had no idea you were such a fanatic.”

He blushes adorably. “Okay, you might’ve uncovered one of my more juvenile pleasures. But don’t bring up my age. People twice as old love this movie.”

“A good story can be loved by all ages.” My eyes find his and hold his gaze.

---