Page 32 of Beautifully Complicated

“Not as far as work goes, that’s pretty similar. But the lifestyle is different. People are more outdoorsy here than what I’m used to. Some of the things I hear the students talking about…hiking, biking, climbing. That’s all new.”

“Just wait until it snows. Then they’ll be talking about skiing, snowboarding, ice climbing. It never stops.”

Mention of snowboarding has my mind drifting to Aiden, and how he described it like floating. As if she can read my mind Grace brings up the man himself.

“How is Aiden working out as your assistant? Don’t you just love him?”

“I uh, yeah. He’s great.”

“When Jennifer said she was going to take a sabbatical I just knew I had to get you for her replacement. Aiden’s been a fan for years. I hoped having you here might cheer him up a bit.”

“Cheer him up?” I repeat as I take my beer from the waiter. “What for?”

I regret asking for details as soon as the question leaves my lips, but I can’t shake this protective instinct I have when it comes to Aiden, like I want to shield him from anything that might make him doubt himself.

“I’m not sure, to be honest. He just seemed to fold in on himself out of nowhere last spring. One day he was his normal, happy self. The next, he was like a shell of the Aiden I know. And whenever I asked if he was okay, he’d say yes, even though he clearly wasn’t, but since he wouldn’t talk to me, I wasn’t sure what I could do.”

“When was this?”

“April maybe?” Grace shrugs and takes another sip of her drink.

April. That’s nearly a month before we met, so the shift wasn’t because of me. Didn’t he say something about trouble with a roommate?

“What about over the summer?” I ask. “Did you see him?”

“Oh, yes. It was even worse. He seemed to lose weight, and I’m pretty sure he wasn’t sleeping well since he always looked tired. I overstepped a bit and asked if he was sick—he assured me he wasn’t—just stretched thin trying to fit everything in between classes and work.”

“What sort of work?” I take a drink as I realize my mouth is too dry.

“The same thing he’s doing now, only for Jennifer. Between you and me I do think she relied too heavily on him, but he never complained. Aiden’s such a hard worker.”

I feel my Adam’s apple drop as I swallow. “And now? Do you think he seems better now?”

Grace tilts her head to the side. “Yes and no. He still looks too tired, and he’s still a little more distant than he used to be, but there’s a hint of the old spark there. I assume that’s because he likes working with you. Learning from the person he considers the best in the field.”

Grace’s words are both heartening and discouraging.

Despite my better judgment, I care about Aiden. More than I should, obviously, but taking our night together out of the equation, he’s an intelligent young man that I want to succeed, and I’m in a position to help him with that.

I’m happy to learn his mood has picked up somewhat because he’s excited about the professional experiences he’s getting. But I’m disheartened to hear that he’s still notably depressed.

I see that myself, of course. The dark circles under his eyes are hard to miss, and the listless expression when he walks the halls borders on haunting. I didn’t realize other people saw it too, though. I figured I noticed because I’m so in tune to him, not because it’s clear as day.

Yet, like Grace said, I don’t know what I can do about it.

Pursuing anything personal with him is out of the question. Even though I’m not technically his professor, I’m a mentor of sorts since he’s helping me with my research, and his boss, in a manner of speaking. If he weren’t enrolled here maybe things would be different.Maybe. But that’s a moot point since the man still needs his degree.

I could ask for another assistant, but if I do, that will reflect poorly on Aiden. And he can’t give the position up without the same result since I’m the only professor here working in the field he wants to concentrate on.

Not to mention, there’s the little issue of his lie. Even knowing why he did it, I don’t know if I can forgive it. For months, I thought the connection we had was totally organic. Born of the mutual, intense onset of comfort and lust and trust. But that encounter wasn’t as organic as I believed considering I was already familiar to him, so a part of me will always wonder if he’d have offered to buy that drink if I really was a stranger.

Sipping my beer, I conclude my only option is to maintain the status quo. Our hands are tied professionally speaking, which means there’s no option for anything personal, even if that was something I wanted to pursue.

Lost in my thoughts, I don’t realize Daniel has worked his way to my side until his voice brings me back to the bar. “What are you two talking about over here?”

“Aiden Sinclair,” Grace volunteers, too freely in my opinion. “I was asking how Kier liked him as an assistant.”

“Is it a good or bad sign you looked so deep in thought?” Daniel asks.

---