Page 93 of Beautifully Conflicted

“Bennet, your not-a-thing, thing is a ringer,” Cruz reaches behind me and Liam to shove Bennet’s shoulder.

“Pick your tiles,” Bennet grunts, nudging his leg against mine in what I assume is his attempt at PDA. I’ll take it.

“You judge next.” Jagger hands the stack of prompt cards to Cam while we all replenish our words.

He picks one and reads, “You may send one text to the entire country, what does it say?”

We all concentrate on building our answers while Cam refills his own word selection and organizes them into an order that makes sense to him. When we hand him our submissions, he reads them aloud one at a time. “Palpitate elegant thing… Admire knowledge… Have some bomb jam… Forge until attain objective… Care for aliens…”

“Wow.” Liam clicks his jaw. “Those are… Um, what do you pick?”

“Palpitate elegant thing,” he says as Jagger whoops and bumps Cam’s fist.

“Hey, you knew that was his,” Bennet accuses.

“Of course I did, that’s why I picked it.” Cam agrees, pulling Jagger to him by the back of the neck so he can give him a sensual kiss.

“You can’t give special treatment to your boyfriend,” Bennet says.

“It’s whateverIthink is the best answer, no matter how I choose it.” Cam lifts a nonchalant shoulder.

“That might’ve won the masturbation prompt if Jagger wasn’t the judge,” Cruz tells us all.

“Exactly. I had to use it somewhere.” Jagger bobs his head in agreement. “Bennet, you judge next.”

“What’s the most embarrassing reason to go to the doctor?” Bennet asks aloud, and when we’ve all provided our answers he says, “Crusty nose burn. Saggy laser not protrude… Jelly hand… Rotten come… Rogue heart explosion…”

“What’sjelly hand?”Cruz asks, but since that would reveal which of us said it no one answers.

“Okay, what’s the verdict?” Cam asks Bennet.

“Well, I don’t know what jelly hand is so that’s a no.” Bennet shoves that answer away. “And heart explosion sounds tragic, not embarrassing. Rotten come or floppy laser not protrude—” Bennet’s eyes shift between the two options “—neither sound like something I want to tell the doctor, but lots of guys have trouble getting it up, and I’ve never heard of rotten come.”

“Is that what it means? It says C.O.M.E. not C.U.M.” Liam points out.

“I think we can assume it’s intended to be jizz, and that being rotten would be super embarrassing, so I’m going with that,” Bennet says.

“Hell yeah!” Cam pumps his fist as Jagger smacks a kiss on the side of his cheek.

“So, what is jelly hand?” Cruz asks again.

“I have no idea.” Liam flings his arms in the air. “Hand was the only body part I had and soft or smooth or amazing don’t scream embarrassing.”

“Oh, well… Good effort.” Cruz reaches out to ruffle his hair, but Liam attempts to duck away and ends up falling back into my lap.

“Cuddle your own boyfriend.” Bennet tries to shove him off me.

All eyes in the room dart to Bennet, but if he notices he doesn’t let on, just passes me the stack of prompt cards and says, “You’re up.”

“Explain the process of circumcision,” I read aloud.

A couple of the guys groan as they bend over their words, plucking and arranging tiles in the order they want. When everyone’s satisfied, they hand me their responses and watch me anxiously as I try—and fail—to speak at least half a dozen times. But I’m cackling so hard I can’t get any air in my lungs, so I end up coughing and wheezing with tears streaming down my face. All while my new secret boyfriend and his roommates look at me like they aren’t sure if this is my normal reaction to funny things or I’m having a medical episode.

When I’ve finally got myself to the point where I can speak without dissolving into a fit of laughter, I reveal what had me so hysterical. “Break his flaming ooze genital… Slay my small flesh… Disappearfool… Torture bare nugget because saggy thing too righteous… Woman attack jumbo weenie – I scream…”

By the time I’ve recounted everything, everyone’s either crying or coughing from the force of their laughter, and I feel vindicated for taking nearly a full five minutes just to be able to speak. Until Cam asks which I’m going to pick, and I lose it all over again.

“Is there a way to submit responses, because this round would earn a gold medal.” Bennet wipes at his eyes.

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