Page 90 of Beautifully Conflicted

“What time is it?” He yawns.

“Eight.”

“Mm,” he grunts, rolling to his back to stretch, which causes the sheet to slip to that sexy little ‘V’ he wears so well. “So, what now?” Bennet rubs his pecs absently.

“What do you mean?”

“You think I’ve fallen for you, so what now?” he asksthe ceiling.

“I sort of figured you’d deny it some more. Keep sneaking around until finals.”

Bennet turns his head to look at me, a bewildered expression on his face. “You’d go along with that, wouldn’t you?”

“If you needed me to, yes. Like you said last night, everyone deserves the leeway to make their own decisions. I wouldn’t force you to say or do anything before you’re ready.”

His eyes seem to soften, though they hold my gaze without wavering. “So, if I needed this to stay between you, me and Aiden, you wouldn’t object?”

I lift my shoulder in response. “Is that what you want?”

Now it’s his turn to shrug. “What I want and what I can do aren’t the same thing.”

“Start with what you can do, then.” How my voice is steady when my heart is anything but, I have no idea. But if Bennet trusts me enough to be honest, the least I can do is put his needs before my desires.

This close, I can see that his eyes are several different shades of blue, swirling together like clouds during a storm. That’s fitting, since he’s so torn about what to do. Whatever he decides, I’m all in. I lost the ability to say no to him long before we got to this point. That is, if I even had it at all.

“I can tell my roommates about this. And maybe you can hang out with us at the house.”

“Like boyfriends?” I clamp my hand over my mouth as soon as the words are out, sure that I’ve spooked him. Instead, he breaks into a timid smile, though it only lasts a few seconds.

“That’s sort of pushing the boundaries of what I can do.”

“Secretboyfriends?”

Bennet actually blushes at that suggestion. It’s sort of adorable, even after he kind of ruins it with disclaimers.

“I mean, if you need a label then whatever. As long as you know I can’t promise more than this. Not now, maybe not even ever. I want to, I just can’t. I’ll cling to this until the last second, just like you said, and that might be worse in the end, but right now… Right now, I don’t know how to walk away.”

That’s twice now he’s told me he loves me in his own way. I’ll take it.

“Then don’t.” I close the distance between us and brush my lips over his, stealing my first kiss as his unofficial secret boyfriend.

He leans into it, humming softly. “You’ll tell me if this stops working for you?”

“It won’t,” I assure him.

“I’m serious, Damien.” He clasps the side of my head, threading his fingers in my hair. “What I’m asking isn’t fair. I need you to tell me if it’s too much.”

“It won’t be.”

“Don’t say that, say you’ll tell me if things change.”

“I’ll tell you if things change.” I try to shut him up with another kiss, but he pulls away.

“That was way too easy. You’re crossing your fingers, aren’t you?”

We just started dating and he already knows me. It’s a sign.

“Maybe.” I go in for another kiss, and this time he doesn’t move.

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