Page 67 of Beautifully Conflicted

“He does seem to complain about you less. How’d you swing that?”

“I took your advice about not trying to be so competitive all the time. Off the field, anyway.”

It pains me to lie to Aiden about what’s really going on since he’s the one who welcomed me from the start and has repeatedly made attempts to be my friend. But Bennet’s one and only rule is that what we’re doing stays a secret, even from his roommates, and I’m not going to jeopardize what we’re doing by having loose lips. Even with the one person who’s always treated me like an equal.

I still maintain my opinion that his roommates would be supportive, but I’ll take his secret to the grave, even though I think it’d be nice to have a few people we don’t have to hide from, and hanging out with them in the privacy of their house would hardly rock the boat. But I went into this knowing Bennet’s terms, so it’s not fair of me to object to them now. I have no choice but to honor my word.

“I know that’s hard since you two have always been rivals, but I’m glad it’s working. Bennet really is one of the nicest guys I know, so it’d be cool if you two got to the point where you could be friends.”

“Yeah, hopefully one day.” My stomach churns as it hits me that this is only the start of all the lying I’ll have to do if I want to keep seeing Bennet.

Obviously, I knew that was the case last night, when we agreed that he’d have to sneak over to my place going forward, but in the moment, I didn’t appreciate what that would look like. That one or both of us would constantly have to fabricate a story about our whereabouts to his roommates, and that those stories would have to be different so no one would suspect we were together.

That’s a lot of lying.

I feel like a total jerk sitting here spewing bullshit to Aiden, but I don’t see how I have any other choice. This thing with Bennet is still pretty new, and the last thing I want to do is spook him all the way back in the closet by telling him I don’t want to lie. Plus, we haven’t even fucked yet, and I think once we do it’ll be even harder for him to ignore how perfect we are together. Not just physically, which so far has been epic, but how we compliment each other, pushing each other to greatness and having fun while we do it.

He just needs a little more time to realize he can’t live without me. Until then, I have to keep up his ruse.

“You should come by the frat house tonight now that you guys are getting along.” Aiden suggests. “They’re having a party since mid-terms are over, and a lot of the guys from the team will be there.”

“I keep forgetting you were in frat. You don’t mention it much.”

Aiden lifts a nonchalant shoulder. “I haven’t been very active since moving out of the house, but I’m sort of looking forward to a night out. And now, I can actually enjoy the party without having to worry about someone commandeering my room to hook up.”

“That happened a lot?”

“It’s more common when the weather’s cold and sneaking into the woods behind the house doesn’t hold as much appeal as a warm bedroom.”

“You make the frat house sound like it has even less privacy than the locker room,” I chuckle.

“I’m not overly familiar with locker rooms, but my guess is it’s probably a tie. So, what do you say? Feel like a party tonight?”

“Bennet wouldn’t be prickly about that? I mean, we’re past wanting to strangle each other,” I rush to clarify, “but that doesn’t mean he wants me in his space.”

“It’s my space too. And I hate that you avoid getting to know people because of this old rivalry. You and Bennet are better than you’ve ever been, you don’t have to keep hibernating in your room so you don’t bump into him. I promise he’ll be fine with it.”

Given that Aiden doesn’t know the real reason Bennet might object to me showing up, he’ll probably assume I don’t want to be friends with him if I decline, which couldn’t be further from the truth. Plus, itwouldbe nice to get out and socialize a bit, something I haven’t really done since I transferred.

I’m not much of a partier, my football aspirations are too important to throw away by being reckless, but it couldn’t hurt to get to knowsome of my teammates better. And as long as I stick with Aiden, I can’t think of a reason Bennet would have a problem with me showing up. It’s not like he said we can’t be in the same place, we just can’t be in the same placealoneunless we’re sure no one else knows about it.

“Okay, sure. I guess I can check out a party.”

***

Party is an understatement. Rager is more like it. The frat house appears to be busting at the seams, people spilling onto the front porch, the lawn, even the rooftop deck on the side of the house.

We haven’t even made it inside and I already have to lean into Aiden’s ear so he can hear me over the music. “It’s not even nine o’clock. How is it so packed already?"

“Midterms are over.” Aiden nods to the guy at the door and leads us inside, not missing a step on the sticky floor that I feel like I have to peel my feet off of. I don’t plan on getting drunk, but I make a mental note to avoid getting buzzed just so I don’t injure myself trying to walk on a floor that seems determined to trap me.

As we weave our way through the crowd an endless stream of people greet Aiden with fist bumps, handshakes, even a few hugs. Since he doesn’t strike me as the big-man-on-campus type, I assume people are happy to see him because he’s a genuinely nice guy. All of which makes me feel like even more of an asshole for omitting the truth about Bennet from him.

I make a mental note that I need to be a better friend, invite him to my place to hang out or something, and immediately walk that back since becoming better friends would only make me feel more guilty.Plus, with Bennet having a key it’d be an epic disaster for him to let himself in while Aiden was there.

The only option is to keep doing what I’m doing, and hope Bennet falls for me sooner rather than later. Maybe then all the lying can be put behind us.

A dozen introductions later, we finally make it to the keg, and Aiden hands me a frothy beer. I try not to grimace when it settles enough for me to taste it—why people think the equivalent of carbonated water is fun to drink is beyond me—though the laugh Aiden stifles tells me I’m not a good actor. Still, I smile and take another sip. I learned a long time ago not to insult the choices of those who welcome you into their space and give you full cups. Better to just say thank you and nurse it so no one thinks you need a refill.

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