Page 60 of Beautifully Conflicted

“You’re the only man I’ve ever felt any attraction to. Literally the only one.”

“Are you saying I’m special?”

“No, you said that.”

“But you’re thinking it.” A triumphant grin spreads over my face.

“God, you’ve got a big ego. This right here is why I want to hate you.” Bennet’s words would be harsh if there wasn’t a hint of a smile playing on his lips as he says them.

“Toma—”

“Yeah, yeah. Enough of that argument. But before you get too excited you should know a few killer orgasms doesn’t change anything.”

“Killer orgasms?”

Bennet gives me a prolonged eye roll and shoves my arm. “Don’t gloat.”

“Fuck that. Your dick loves me, and it hasn’t even been inside me yet. I mean, usually I’m a top, but you’ve got a nice meaty cock that I bet will feel fantastic, so I’llbe your bussy.”

I’m halfway to pressing my mouth to his when he pulls back and says, “My what?”

“Bottom pussy.”

“I—” Bennet squeezes his eyes shut as he shakes his head “—please don’t ever say that again. And don’t get all worked up about the two of us fucking. I’ll be disowned if my dad ever finds out I’ve been with a man, or have an interest in one, and killer orgasms aren’t worth losing my family.”

“Your dad sounds like a homophobic jerk.” I sigh heavily and flop against the back of the couch, wondering how it’s possible to go from an admission ofone percenttonothing’s changed. Again.

Bennet’s eyes are pleading as he tries to explain. “He might be homophobic, but he’s been a great dad. He’s fully supported my football dreams, never once telling me to pick something more realistic. He was there for me when I struggled with some of my English classes and got me the extra help I needed. He made sure I had everything I needed but never spoiled me, so I’d understand the value of hard work. And he’s never lost his temper unless I did something to deserve it, like sneaking out after curfew or skipping school. Even then he was never violent or anything, just disappointed, and his punishments weren’t unjustified. He’s a great role model for me, minus the whole thinking gay people are unnatural.”

“Does he know you live in a house full of gay men?”

“He knows I live with several teammates and one fraternity brother…”

“But not which teammates.” I finish that sentence for him.

“No.”

Though none of them make a point of mentioning it at every turn, Cruz, Cameron and Jagger don’t hide the fact they’re in relationships with men, so it’d be fair to say Bennet’s dad wouldrecognize his son is living in a house of queer guys if he knew the names of his roommates. The fact Bennet hasn’t even told his dad who he lives with doesn’t bode well for my goal of getting him to date me officially.

I’ll settle for baby steps right now though. We’ve already taken a couple, we could take more in an incognito way that will ultimately become permanent when he falls in love with me. And let’s face it, that’s the direction we’re going. He basically admitted it when he said he can’t resist me.

“Well, you’re already keeping that secret. You can keep another one involving us.” I dip my chin while holding his gaze, giving him my best smolder. “If you want to.”

“I—” Bennet closes his eyes and exhales slowly “—I’ve thought about it.”

Bolting upright I gasp, “You have?”

My body feels like it’s going to vibrate right off the couch, so I put all my effort into sitting still, even though I’m dying to bounce up and down to get the wiggles out.

“I…like the killer orgasms. Not enough to risk my family.” His tongue darts out to wet his lips. “But enough that I’d be down to have some more. As long as no one knows about it. And I mean no one.”

My shoulders droop a little. “Not even your roommates?”

“It’s not that I don’t trust them,” Bennet clarifies. “It just takes one little slip and word gets out, so it’s easier this way.”

My eyes track over Bennet’s form as I chew on my lip. On the one hand, hell yes. On the other, I sort of figured his roommates would be in on the secret hookup thing, which would go a long way toward getting Bennet to acceptus.

Oh well. It’s not like this hasn’t been an uphill battle from the start.

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