Page 56 of Beautifully Conflicted

Watching him jizz all over the wall though… Mouth open on a silent scream, chest inflated but not moving as he tried to stay quiet, and that full dick pulsing inside his fist.

I’m pretty sure it’s only the fact that Coach and a few of our teammates were bearing down on our location that kept me from pitching a tent of my own. As it is, I have a feeling I’ll be playing that image on repeat every time I close my eyes for the next…forever.

And as for what I said about working his ass to get him over the finish line—I’m not sure I want to examine that too closely. I don’t even know if I was talking about spanking him or…something else. All I know is I’ve never had a thought like that in my life, and I have no idea what it says about me that I spewed that mouthful in that moment.

I mean,kink.Since when do I have an interest in kink?

I’m doing a shit job of thinking of Damien as my rival. It’s only been two days since he was in this very room, his cum coating my dick, and I vowed not to give in to weakness.Again. And then I listened to him pleasure himself, something he felt the need to do after being close tome, and I spent the night reliving that moment.

I don’t think I can do it.

I don’t think I can resist the pull I feel toward him.

I’m not sure I want to anymore.

That’s a dangerous thought, one I’ve fought since we were paired as training partners. But my body’s fighting back just as hard, and I’m tired of this internal battle. Not that I’m conceding completely—I still have no intention of living as a gay man, if gay is even the rightlabel—but satisfying some of my baser urges sounds like heaven. And as long as that’s the extent of it, I won’t be risking my family or my career.

As my room continues to get brighter, I realize it’s no use lying in bed any longer. Sleep won’t come. So, I drag myself downstairs for breakfast, where I find Aiden already wide awake and quietly pecking away at his phone on the couch.

He looks up as I enter the room, making my way toward him. “This is early for you,” he remarks as I take the seat next to his.

“I can’t sleep.”

“Beating yourself up over not being able to practice?”

A smile pulls at the corner of my lip. “You know me well. Why are you up so early?”

“Tickets for a lecture I want to attend in Denver go on sale today.”

I can’t think of anything worse than going to a lecture for fun, but Aiden’s passion for knowledge is like my passion for football. “What kind of lecture?”

“There’s a guy who’s proposed using AI in prosthetics to adjust and optimize their use.”

“And that means?”

He grins, well-accustomed to having to put things into layman’s terms for me. “It would make the prosthetics more intuitive.”

“Isn’t that flirting with a Terminator situation?”

“God, that movie screwed up everyone’s understanding of AI.” He hands me a book, pointing to the picture of a dark-haired man on the back. “Kier’s looking to connect AI to the body’s nervous system.”

The man in the picture has that same studious, professor vibe Aiden has, though he seems too young to be an expert on something, much like Aiden seems too young to be as smart as he is. I’d put himin his late twenties, an impressive age to be giving lectures on cutting edge stuff.

“I get your whole Terminator analogy,” Aiden says, “but a better comparison would be how Luke Skywalker’s bionic arm works.”

“No shit, that’s pretty cool.”

“It is. That’s why I’m up. The lecture’s gonna sell out quick and I want to make sure I get a spot.” Aiden checks his watch and mutters, “Ten minutes.” Then he opens a window on his phone and a newsy voice boomsBreaking News,and proceeds to rattle off something about the upcoming election. I’m not sure what though, since a glance at the screen reveals the newscaster is a fish. One that eerily resembles a character from the SpongeBob cartoon I watched as a kid.

“What are you watching?” I ask him.

“Bikini Bottom News.”

“Come again?”

“Bikini Bottom News. You know, from SpongeBob.”

“So, this is what, a parody thing?” I watch the fish’s mouth, which I think is really just a fist painted to look like it’s part of the body, move like it’s talking.

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