Page 40 of Beautifully Conflicted

For all of this to have not been for nothing.

That’s getting harder and harder to do now that I see him every day.

Before, when I wouldn’t see him for months at a time, it was easy to be an asshole toward him. I didn’t have to see how my attitude affected him. Now that he’s in my face every day, I can see that my words are capable of hurting him, and if I’m being honest with myself, I don’t want that. Especially now that Aiden pointed out his words may not be meant to hurt me the way I originally thought they were. At the same time, I can’t afford to let him think I give a shit.

It would open a door that needs to stay shut.

I toss my pencil down with a frustrated exhale—my mind is too preoccupied for math right now—and decide maybe a little Madden will give me a reprieve from thinking about Damien.

Too bad the stupid fucker is sitting on my couch when I get downstairs, looking way too good in that damn beanie that smooshes his hair over his eyes like a sexy curtain.

Ignoring the way his presence makes my heart give an uncharacteristically heavy beat I bark, “The fuck are you doing here?”

Though my words are due to shock as opposed to anger, my tone can hardly be mistaken for surprise. Even when my mind is a jumbled mess about him, my instinct to protect myself is intact, and I’m instantly on guard.

Damien’s eyes dart around the room, almost as if he’s looking for backup, which is odd considering he’s never appeared to need it before. He’d always jump straight into antagonizing me with some smartass answer.

“I’m waiting for Aiden. We’re going to study.”

“Here?”

He gives a subtle headshake. “The library.”

“Why didn’t you just meet him there?” I cross my arms in front of my chest, suddenly very conscious of the fact it’s only the two of us in the room, and the last two times that happened my body got a little too excited. I can’t exactly hold my hands in front of my junk to hide it though, so arms crossed over my pecs will have to do.

Damien wets his full lips, giving me a flashback of how they looked only inches from mine in the shower. “He said to swing by here after practice.”

Between the unwanted memories, my earlier behavior at practice, and the timid thing Damien has going on, I’m freaking the fuck out. We don’t do timid. We do angry and annoying and aggressive, and I need to keep doing that, so he doesn’t get any deeper in my head.

I’m about to tell him to go wait in Aiden’s room instead of making me suffer his company when Jagger and Cam stroll in—looking freshly fucked as per usual with those two—and they catch sight of our guest.

“Tough practice.” Jagger holds his fist up for Damien to bump as he nods in my direction. “Never bet against Bennet when shoes are on the line.”

“Good to know,” Damien replies.

Good to know. Where’s the snarky comeback?

“Picked out the ones you want yet?” Cam flops onto his favorite chair, pulling Jagger down with him in a move so seamless it has me trying to recall the last time I saw Jagger’s ass on a cushion instead of Cam’s lap.

“It’s bad luck to make a decision before things are official,” I answer. Plus, I don’t want to talk about shoes in front of Damien when I know he thinks they’re a stupid prize.

“Valid,” Jagger agrees, cocking his head to study me standing stiffly in the middle of the room. “Why are you standing there?”

“I’m waiting for Damien to leave.” That sounds awful even to my ears, but it’s true. I can’t relax with him here.

Jagger and Cam exchange a not-so-subtle glance, but before I can call them on it Aiden jogs into the room with an apologetic smile. “Sorry. My mom called while I was grabbing my books, and it took three tries before I could finally say I was on my way to study.”

“Only three?” I ask with a tiny chuckle since I’m well acquainted with his mom’s tendency to have an entire conversation without him getting even ten words in. She’s never at a loss for something to say.

“I’m not counting the first one, even though I said I’m on my way out instead of hello since I’m pretty sure she was already talking before the call connected. Ready?” Aiden asks Damien, no doubt because he senses the tension and hopes their exit will relieve it.

“Yeah.” Damien grabs his bag off the floor and follows Aiden to the door without giving any of us another glance.

I’m officially an asshole. That’s a good thing though, right?

“Dude.” Cam hucks a pillow fight pillow at me, which stings a little when it connects with my side. Those things are packed with dense foam.

“What?” I finally move to the couch and take a seat.

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