Page 84 of Steel

Alcohol is going to be required in a few places in our conversation, so I head over to the cabinet above the refrigerator and grab the bottle of Devil’s Mark along with two of their special edition glasses.

I’d be a shitty friend if I didn’t support my friend’s husband in the running of his distillery.

Bailee makes her way into the living room as I’m pouring bourbon into the glasses for us, pushing hers toward her once it’s full.

She lifts it to her mouth and downs the fucking thing in one swallow, handing it back to me and lifting a brow to ask for a refill.

Her eyes are a little clearer now, but it’s also given her the courage to shore up her walls, which is what I didn’tfuckingwant. It’s harder for me to get to her when she’s got those damn things up.

“I have a debt to pay to your daughter,” she says tonelessly, taking a seat on the couch.

Lyric isn’t around, so she doesn’t have to put on the act anymore.

“Take what I’ll get,” I reply, sitting on the coffee table in front of her. “Where do you want to start?”

“This is your show. Start wherever you want.”

Fuck. Okay, then.

I lift the glass to my mouth and swallow it down just like she did then pour myself another one. Placing my elbows on my thighs, I let my hands clasp the glass like a lifeline between my legs as I stare at her.

“Emmy Lou.” My lips firm into a straight line when her body tightens at the mention of her name. “That. That right there is why we need to talk about her. She’s my best friend. That’s all she is, all she’s ever been. Never had a chance, and once I met you, never wanted to.” Bailee lets out a sound of disbelief. “Scoff all you want, baby girl. It’s the truth. She ceased to be someone I viewed like that when we became whatever we became.”

“Nothing,” she says coldly. “That’s what we became.”

I take a sip from the glass and shoot her a look over the rim of it. “Weren’t what you wanted us to be, Hummingbird, but we were far from nothin’, and if I hear that shit from your mouth again, I’ll tan your ass red.”

“Only in your dreams will you touch me again.”

“Keep pushin’ me instead of lettin’ me speak and you’ll see how far I’m willin’ to go to fix this shit to keep you in my life,” I growl.

She pushes her lips together and glares at me, the defiance a better sight than that emptiness she had the night she found out about everything and the careful blankness she put on as soon as Lyric was out of the room.

“Never got anything to worry about with Emmy Lou. Nothin’, Lee. She’s Atlas’s, and I’m yours. You get that? You get what no one else ever has. Never allowed anyone else to say that. Don’t want her to become a problem with us. Got enough of those on my own without that. If it does, I’ll fix it. Yeah?” She nods and takes a drink. “Now, about the shit from the other day.”

Bailee goes to open her mouth, but I aim a sharp look at her. “You had your say. It’s my turn, baby girl. Didn’t get to say it then, so I’m goin’ to now. We ain’t ever had exclusivity, Lee, butI’m still sorry you got hurt by what she told you. Last thing I ever want to do is cause you pain. Done enough of that shit in the past.”

I know she probably doesn’t want the details, but I need her to know that I didn’t exactly want the blowjob and that it was actually her that I was thinking about when I woke up. The last thing I want to do is think about that morning, but my Hummingbird deserves to know it all, so I let the sting from the bourbon burn away the sourness from the back of my throat as I prepare to lay myself open.

“The morning of the blowjob—”

“No. Stop. I don’t want to listen to this.”

“Please,” I plead quietly, “just listen.”

Tears fall from her eyes. The bourbon sloshes in her glass from the trembling in her hand as she brings it to her mouth. After a hefty drink, she nods at me to continue.

“That morning, didn’t even know Heather was in my house. Had a key that I didn’t remember her havin’. I was dreamin’ of you. Fuckin’ filthy like always.” I try to crack a smile, but it falls flat. “Woke up to the wet heat of a mouth on my dick. I was still half asleep and it felt fuckin’ good because I thought it was you. Then I opened my eyes and saw her.” I drop my gaze down to my glass as I swirl the liquid around, trying to work through what I’m feeling. “Don’t know why, but it fuckin’ made me sick. Took all I had not to lose my stomach all over my bed. Before I knew what I was doin’, I had my blade at her neck, tellin’ her to never touch me without my permission again or I’d end her. Think it’s the first time she’s ever had to see the monster I hide pretty well. Made her leave the key she had before I kicked her ass out.”

I finish off the bourbon and fill the glass back up before continuing. “The kiss is another thing that came out of nowhere. I admit when her lips first touched mine, I didn’t pull away. Didn’t engage. Didn’t want to, but shit, my head was fucked-up.Just got back from the funeral and wasn’t expectin’ it, so I wasn’t prepared for it. It was familiar for about ten seconds until her tongue touched my closed lips and then I felt nothing but fuckin’ disgust. Shoved her away hard enough that she almost fell, which at the time would have been the least the bitch deserved considerin’ she touched me without my permission after I’d told her not to.”

I glance up at Bailee, surprised to see her face so open and heartbroken as tears pour down her face. “That’s it. That’s what happened with those two things you asked me about.”

“Jericho,” she whispers, sliding off the couch and dropping to the floor between my knees.

What the fuck is happening here?

“Not that I don’t love to see you on your knees between my legs, but what the fuck is goin’ on, baby girl?” I ask, lifting my hand to her face and wiping the tears that won’t stop falling from her eyes.

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