Page 74 of Steel

“She gave me head and she kissed me yesterday,” he replies in a voice that is void of life.

Nausea swirls in my stomach as my body trembles, but I fight to hold it together. I need the answers. I need to know it all.

“Are you two together or trying to work it out?”

“No.”

“Did you ever tell her you all could?”

There’s hesitation again before he answers just as robotically as before. “I did at first. It was lie so I could try to get her to get fuckin’ clean for our daughter. Was hopin’ it would give her enough incentive to want to.”

“Was that the only time you told her?”

“No. I lied to her and told her again so I could get her to leave when she showed up at my house and I’ve never corrected the lie. There was too much shit goin’ on that she was the last thing on my mind.”

His words repeat over and over as my body quakes from the chill that has invaded my bones.

Warmth. I need to find something to warm me up.

Turning away from him, I let my feet carry me to my room. One. Two. Three. Four. I count the steps to keep my mind occupied and to avoid drifting to a space that’s unwanted.

Closet. The closet will have my sweatshirts.

“Bailee, would you fuckin’ stop and talk to me?”

Grabbing my favorite black hoodie, I pull it over my head, burying into the warmth as I silently beg for it to heat me up.

“Hummingbird, listen to me,” he pleads.

My head snaps up on that, some of the numbness clearing. Just not enough for me to not feel this empty chasm inside me.

“You need to leave. Go home to your family, Steel. I won’t come between you and your family. I refuse to be hurt like that again. I am meant for more than playing the other woman role.”

“You’re not goin’ to listen?”

There’s something there, in his tone, something that tells me maybe I should listen, that maybe things aren’t exactly as they seem, but my brain isn’t processing anything new right now, so it shoves it to the side.

“What’s there to listen to, Steel? You admitted to getting a blowjob from her since I’ve been back in your life, and you two kissed yesterday. You’ve been leading her on, so it’s no wonder she thinks she has the right to tell me what she did. I don’t have it in me to do toxic with you again this go-around.”

With a roar, he slams his fist into the wall, and it’s a sign of how far into numbness I am that I don’t even flinch from the sound of it.

“Fuck this shit. This right here is exactly why I don’t do goddamn relationships,” he spits. “You’re still under my fuckin’ protection, so I need fuckin’ check-in calls. If you don’t, I’ll be back, and it won’t be pretty.”

The door slams behind him, and as soon as it snicks into place, I fall to my knees as I finally break.

I had so many warnings. I told myself so many times that I wasn’t going there again. But I stupidly fell in love with him all over again, and just like last time, I’m a shattered, broken mess on the floor of my apartment while he goes home to his kid’s mother.

Chapter twenty

Rage rides me hardas my tires eat up asphalt and my pipes sing through the air, creating a vicious melody that belies my anger.

Fucking Heather and her goddamn bullshit.

I shouldn’t be surprised, but I also can’t lay all the blame at her feet either. Bailee was right that I was leading Heather on by not correcting her assumption that we were getting back together. You would think after the way I kicked her out of my house when I woke to her sucking my dick without invitation that she’d take the hint. Obviously not, since she’s trying to mark territory that’s not hers and start unnecessary shit between me and my Hummingbird.

And Bailee . . .

My fingers grip the handlebars tighter as I recall the shit that went down in her living room.

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