Page 42 of Steel

It’s the emptiness in her voice that has my shoulders pulling tight and my fists clenching. My abdomen constricts as my chin dips to my chest. I knew what I was doing with my harsh words, yet I didn’t curb them. Pushing Bailee away is something I’m good at, and it’s something that needs to be done to protect not just myself but her too. I’ll break her heart just like I did the lasttime. I’m not cut out for what she deserves, and someone like her deserves a hell of a lot more than what my biker life will give her.

So, instead of staying, apologizing, and making her feel better to appease my guilt, I give a sharp nod and walk out the door.

Fuck this shit, man. This is exactly why I refuse to get involved in another fucking relationship. I’m no good at them. Bailee and Heather are both proof of that. There’re only four things I’m good at: fucking, fighting, riding, and being a father.

Anything other than that is an epic fucking failure.

Bailee’s disenchanted face flashes in my mind, and I grind my teeth together as I throw my leg over my bike.

She chases me all the way to the clubhouse, and in a fit of desperation, I grab the first club whore I come across and drag her behind me to my room.

When I walk out the bathroom a few hours later, Rachel is still lying in my fucking bed. Marching over to the edge of it, I cross my arms and stare down at her. My lip curls in a snarl, and my nostrils flare. “Why the fuck are you still in here?”

Rachel’s eyes widen at my aggression, but then she smiles coyly and they flare with heat. “God, you’re so fucking hot when you’re angry.”

She stretches her body out, spreading her legs to show me her slickness, but my dick doesn’t even twitch at the sight.

Giving her what she wants, I roll my eyes over her and let her see the repulsive disinterest set in my gaze. “Go find someone to help you out with that. Got what I needed.”

“Are you serious right now?” she demands, sitting up and wrapping the sheet around herself.

“Given you any indication that I wasn’t? Get the fuck out of my room before I get one of the Old Ladies to come in here and remove you themselves.” She climbs out of my bed in a huff, keeping the sheet wrapped around herself. “Leave the sheet, Rachel. Already fucked every hole you have and so has every other man in here. No need to be modest now.”

Rachel snatches up her clothes and shoves herself into them, all the while aiming sharp glares my way. Not that I give a single fuck. I just want her the fuck out of here so I can get my sheets changed and go get my daughter.

“And people believe you’re the quiet one,” she mutters. “You’re a fucking asshole.”

“If you’d have done what you were supposed to do, which was leave after we were finished, you wouldn’t be dealin’ with it. You don’t stay where you’re not wanted. Those have always been the rules for every brother in this club.”

“You wanted me plenty, Steel.”

“Newsflash, Rachel,” I say, sliding my cut over my shoulders. “It wasn’t you I was fuckin’.”

Her face loses all color, and I regret my harsh words. Despite my frustration with her not being gone, she doesn’t deserve my anger, because I’m the toxic fucking mess that my ex created.

I start to apologize, but she shakes her head and gives a bitter laugh. “Don’t even. We both know it won’t be sincere. You all don’t see us. We’re just fuck buckets without emotions. You come in, you fuck us, then you leave to be with your Old Ladies, your baby mamas, your fucking loves. For a club that preaches so much about loyalty, you all only extend that loyalty to your brothers.”

“Don’t like where your life is at, you’re free to fuckin’ leave. Not holdin’ you hostage, Rachel. Here of your own volition. All of you are. Your choice, not ours. You don’t like your lot in life,then fuckin’ change it. Now, for the last time, get the fuck out of my room.”

I swear I hear her mutter something about what goes around comes around, but since I can’t be sure, I shrug it off and set about cleaning my room and wiping away the mistake I made by coming here tonight.

It’d have been less of a headache to just fuck my hand.

After making sure the door to my room is locked behind me, I head out of the clubhouse and back to my place to switch out vehicles then make my way over to Wraith’s. Normally, I’d stick around, but other than the shit Crow has going on, shit is quiet at the clubhouse. Plus, Lyric doesn’t ever bother me to come get her when she stays over with Wraith and Nova. Shit’s so up in the air with her mother, it’s no wonder she’s restless. My girl already admitted she doesn’t want us to live together with her mom again.

If there’s anyone I’m going to give in to, it’s going to be my daughter, but I’m also going to keep Heather on the string to make sure she gets clean. I don’t know why the hell I keep giving that woman so many chances. She’s proven me wrong too many times to count, but if I can’t have hope for Lyric when it comes to her mother, who the hell will?

The only goddamn thing in this world I want for her is to have a mom who sees her, who puts her first, and who loves her. Heather isn’t ever going to do that no matter how much I push, so I don’t know why I’m still fucking trying.

Nova smiles as she holds the door open for me. “Hey. She finally fell asleep a few minutes ago on the couch.”

“Sorry. Needed to grab a shower before comin’ to get her.”

“Probably a good idea.” She laughs quietly. “I don’t know what happened. She and Hendrick were fine all day, and then she called Heather to tell her goodnight. After that, she was quiet and wanted to go home with you.”

With a sigh, I scrub my hands over my face, so fucking exhausted from dealing with Heather’s shit. “Thanks. No tellin’ what she said to her. Sometimes they’re okay, but other times, Heather is so fuckin’ high that she’s doin’ whatever she can to manipulate me and Lyric. I fuckin’ hate it. I’m at the point where I’m about to yank custody from her.”

Wraith walks up and wraps his arm around Nova. “You should’ve done that a long fucking time ago, brother. She ain’t good for that girl in there.”

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