Page 29 of Pity Play

“I’m sure Jim could have covered for you long enough for you to come to my grand opening.” Gauntlet dropped.Explain your way out of that, I psychically challenge him.

Instead of making an excuse, he says, “I’m sure he could have.” And just like that, my dad is telling me that my life is not a priority for him. At this point I can either yell at him and let him know how hurt I am, or I can simply walk away. I choose the latter.

Without so much as saying goodbye, I turn and walk out ofmy dad’s hospital room. I don’t know how much longer I can take his anger. If he doesn’t lighten up soon, Iwillgo back to Chicago. Regardless of what I promised my mother, I can’t handle being the target of his anger. Especially when I’ve done nothing to deserve it.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

LORELAI

A strange sensation comes over me after hanging up with my parents. It’s a cross between full-tilt boogie panic and blinding optimism. While this is still my home, at the same time, I can tell I’ve started to disconnect. I have no future here. The hourglass has turned, and the timer is on countdown to a new life that hopefully won’t include me eating out of garbage cans.

I try to forcibly shake thoughts like that out of my head. I’m smart, talented, nicer than most, and I am not a loser. I’m tempted to pick up my phone to tell my brother that, but I decide not to waste my time.

I visualize a thousand memories from my life. This is the room where my family rehashed our daily adventures. We watched television here; we played charades and competed in Nintendo dance-offs. Our Christmas tree has been in the same corner since I was born. How can all that end? Am I supposed to go to Florida for Christmas now? Will we drink our eggnog poolside next to a Speedo-wearing Santa? I shudder at the thought.

I remind myself that I’m twenty-eight years old. I’m lucky to have had my family home for as long as I have. I repeat that sentimentthree times like a mantra. Yet I can’t help but think that family homes are supposed to remain in families. To make matters worse, I’m not even being given the option to create a new home with my parents, because they aren’t going to have room for me in Florida.

I’m embarrassed to even be thinking like this. I’m a grown woman and I need to start acting like one. Not only do things not always stay the same, but I cannot control everything. Therefore, if I do not bend, I will break.Grow. Up. Lorelai.While that may not sound like the best peptalk, it’s actually working a little bit. I have always liked a challenge and this one should be no different. Except now, I have a credit card that I won’t be responsible for paying.

Pulling out my phone, I open my notes app and start typing.

Call painters

Pick out paint colors

Call movers and get quotes to move my parents’ things to Florida

Look and see how much apartments cost in Elk Lake, Madison, and Chicago

Try to figure out what job I can do to make more money

Carpeting?

I suppose I’ll have more clarity prioritizing tasks after talking to the realtor tomorrow. But no matter what, I’m going to be busy.

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