Page 31 of Sire: On Your Knees

I sighed, knowing if I was ever going to have something real, I had to deal with the things that made me push away everythinggood, like the girl standing in front of me, genuinely concerned about my well-being after I mistreated her.

"I don't deserve you, Knovah."

"You do. You made a mistake last night, and I know why. If I can forgive you, then you can forgive yourself."

I pulled her face to me, unable to resist the urge to kiss her. I knew she was right. I kissed her so passionately you'd think I was trying to crawl into her mouth. When I finally released her, I laid my forehead on top of hers.

"You're right," I finally admitted. "But I'm not the only one that's walking around with the weight of guilt on their shoulders. If I'm to forgive myself and allow happiness in, then you have to do the same."

Iknew Sire was right, and I hated it. It took everything in me not to take those juicy, full lips of his and ball them up in my hand. My intention was to encourage him to move forward, completely dismissing the notion for myself. The truth was, we were both walking around with guilt that needed to be released, but the thought of walking away from it froze me in place.

A finger underneath my chin forced me to look at Sire. He looked concerned about my well-being. "If it's going to happen, we both have to do it. It's time."

Suddenly, looking at him was too difficult. I turned away to hide my tears. He eased up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. He kissed the side of my face, sending chills down my spine.

"Lay deserved better," I whispered.

His grip on me tightened, anchoring me in the moment with him. I lifted a hand, resting it on his cheek. I slowly stroked his goatee in my hands. "You were a kid, baby..."

"I should've known better, though."

"Y'all should've been treated better." Sire's words broke my heart. No one had ever said that to me. I was always convinced we deserved the way we were treated even though nothing wedid made things better. "Don't carry the burden of wanting to escape the pain you were caused because it's not fair to you or your sister. You didn't fully understand the consequences, and it sucks that things ended the way they did, but babe, it's not your fault. Who's to say your sister wouldn't have gotten involved in drugs on her own and ended up with the same fate?"

I couldn't hold it in anymore. My face fell into my hands as I began to sob. I didn't want to think about Lay like that. My angel was the sweetest girl. She should've been here with me. "And to be honest, if I ever get my hands on that nigga, he's going to wish he never lifted a hand toward y'all. No lie, I might fuck yo' mama up, too."

I wasn't expecting him to say that and giggled in response. "Oh my God, you're crazy."

"As fuck. And especially about you..."

Spinning around, I wrapped my arms around Sire's neck. I wanted to hide the pain in my eyes but realized if I was going to share it with anyone, it should be Sire. He understood me in ways no one else in my life could or wanted to. I had to believe he was encouraging me to let the guilt go because he truly cared about me.

"I wish our sisters were here," I mumbled.

He kissed my third eye, sedating me in the moment. "Me too but having each other will have to do. Who knows, maybe they're best friends in heaven."

I couldn't stop myself from smiling. Sire could be the sweetest when he allowed himself to let down his safeguards. "Yeah, maybe they are." A ray of sunlight caught my attention. Looking toward the terrace, I saw the rain had stopped, making way for the sun. "Look."

Hand in hand, we walked toward the terrace. The air was hot and humid from the thunderstorm that'd briefly unleashed havoc on the city. In the distance, a rainbow came to life, makingme cry harder. For some reason, it felt as if it was my sister telling me it was okay to move forward without the additional weight on my shoulders. I couldn't carry it forever when, in honesty, it was weighing me down. I decided to take my advice to Sire and focus on our good times instead of the pain of Alayshia's death. She was so much more than the way she left this Earth.

My tears continued to fall, but they were watering the seeds of the future I was ready to plant and allow to sprout. Sire kissed each one away, breaking down each of my barriers. I inhaled deeply before exhaling and releasing all the darkness with it. I was ready for the sun to shine again in my life. I deserved it.

"You're so beautiful." His compliment made me blush.

"Thank you, handsome."

"Come here." He pulled me into his arms and straight into a passionate kiss that knocked all the air from my lungs. When we finally came up for air, he asked me, "Can I have you now?"

I chewed on the corner of my lip. Sire could absolutely have me, knowing he would take care of me. I nodded slowly. His smile made me want to make room in my heart for him to make himself at home. He grabbed my hand and pulled me back inside the penthouse.

I allowed Sire to lead me to his bedroom instead of the guest room. His soft sheets swallowed me when he laid me down gently. When his lips landed on mine, a hunger I'd never experienced before began to flush anything else I was feeling from my system until all I felt were his sweet lips and skillful tongue exploring my mouth. I sucked on it like the little freak he'd turned me into, loving the feel of his dick becoming ready for what came next.

Sire was gentler with me than ever before. Everywhere he kissed lit a fire that wouldn't soon burn out. By the time he made it to my waistline, every inch of my skin was in full-blown flames. I wiggled against the bed, trying to put out as much as Icould, but nothing worked until he slid my shorts down my legs to latch on to my clit.

"Mmm," I moaned loudly as my body jerked from the beautiful sensation. He palmed my breasts while continuing to shove his face in my wet center. I couldn't stop moaning or thrashing because it felt too fucking good. "You are too fucking good at that."

"I know," he paused to say. His deep voice made my clit vibrate, and I came instantaneously. He chuckled lowly. "I love the way you taste and smell. I can bury my face in this pussy day and night without getting enough."

Sire kissed back up my body. I sat up to help him remove his shirt and bottoms. I was too ready to feel him inside of me. Each time we were together, he found a new depth to reach in me, but it was never enough. He wasted no time sliding inside of me.

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