Page 18 of Sire: On Your Knees

I just wanted to escape the pain, and I had to drag Lay along with me. I was complaining about the parents we were given when I needed to include myself in the bunch. I was no good for Lay. She deserved so much better, and honestly, we all failed her in one way or another. Picking up the journal, I decided to write another page of a quote I'd written before.

I have to believe there's redemption in the darkest circumstances. Otherwise, it's too bleak for me. - Paddy Considine

I wrote it repeatedly until my hands ached. The physical pain temporarily distracted me from the hole in my heart. I glanced over my shoulder when I heard the elevator open. Sire bopped inside, heading straight for the back of the penthouse.

Even though I only caught a glimpse of him, a wave of heat rushed through my body. No matter what he wore or did, my body reacted to his presence. I couldn't understand my attraction to him, considering the circumstances. I was still being held prisoner in his home against my will. That one fact should've been enough reason for me not to give myself to him, but he was fucking with my head. There was no way I could've predicted losing my virginity to Sire coming into this arrangement. It was absolutely psychotic of me, yet I was afraid if he came up to me right now, wanting to explore again, I'd fall victim to his charm. I hated the way my body submitted to his authority.

Sire was an asshole and loved to assert his power. I'm not sure if that got his dick hard or if it was the reaction he pulled out of me every time he tried to drop his nuts. I was sure he saw I was a victim and would eventually become another man who wanted to prey on me or another man who would use his strength to overpower me. To hurt me and make me cower in fear. It was only a matter of time. I couldn't stick around for that.

My other escape attempt was a failure, but it didn't mean I needed to give up on the hope of regaining my freedom. I was going to bury this entire experience as if it had never happened, but I knew it might not be so simple. I still found myself thinking about the worst times in my life. No amount of distance from my parents could erase the pain they'd cause. My wounds were very fresh, bleeding, and in desperate need of healing, which mademe know forgetting Sire would be no easy feat. For some reason, I was a magnet for chaos. No matter if I tried to steer clear of it, trouble was known to follow me.

Leaning forward with my forearms on my knees, I decided when I had the opportunity that I was going to get far the fuck away from here. I never wanted to be in another high rise in my life. There had to be better out there for me, even if I didn't fully believe that I was deserving of it.

Walking the floor of Pleasures, I peeped the scene. Everything was flowing smoothly until I noticed a drunk nigga trying to rough house one of my girls. I signaled to one of my bodyguards and pointed. He jumped into action, removing the nigga from the premises. Satisfied with the money being spent, liquor being poured, and ass being thrown, I headed to my office.

The second I sat at my desk, my phone began ringing. I pulled it out of my pocket to see it was my father calling. I almost didn't answer it but decided to at the last second.

He began talking before I could even greet him. I plopped back in my seat, listening to what he had to say. "You found that little girl yet?"

I ran a hand down my face and shook my head. I should've known the reason for his call. I drummed my fingers on the desk while I debated on how to respond.

On one hand, I could fight what I was feeling and condemn Noonie to death, or I could acknowledge the pain she was already in and the way it made me feel so protective of her. We related in more ways than one. Her pussy was good as fuck. And I was used to going home to her now. The thought of walkingback into an empty penthouse didn't sit well with me, so I made my decision.

"Not yet."

"How fucking long does it take to find a stupid little bitch?"

I flinched, hearing him refer to Noonie as that.

"All I know is by the time I make it back from my trip out of the country with your mother, I better have some answers."

He hung up the phone without further criticism. I hated being put on a time schedule, especially one like this.

Now that he'd brought up Noonie, I couldn't stop thinking about her. I wondered what she was doing right now. Instead of peeping at her on the cameras, I decided to head home. The sound of my father’s voice had me suspicious of him. I needed to see her with my own eyes to be sure she was okay.

"I'm out," I informed Kalias and Loyal once I made it to the main floor.

They were at the bar having drinks, preparing to fuck the city up tonight. I finished the remaining water in the bottle I carried in my hand. Walking closer to the bar, I handed it to my bartender to toss in the trash.

"Heading home to your personal maid and chef?" Kalias asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

Of course, they knew what I was up to. I needed someone on my side in case my father found out she was there. The only benefit right now was the fact my father didn't have access to my penthouse. If he happened to pop up over there, everything would be fucked up.

"Mind your business," I replied with a frown.

Loyal chuckled. "Yeah, he's about to go hit."

I flipped them off with a finger each. "Worry about what you're hitting tonight instead of what the fuck I got going on."

The two of them bumped shoulders. "Aye, don't worry. We already got our shit laid out. It's gonna look like a scene from a nineties porno in the telly tonight."

"Say no more." I chuckled, knowing they weren't joking. Walking closer, we did our handshake, then headed to the entrance.

It was a nice spring evening, so the wind was dancing, and the sun kept things warm and comfortable, but the stars would soon paint the ombre sky in sparkling dust. I slid my helmet on before climbing on my bike. Racing through the city was my favorite thing to do. My motorcycle was built for performance and speed. There was no better feeling than the world whipping past me in a blur of colors and smells. I never felt freer than when I was on my bike.

Making a slight detour before heading home, I went to Aria to place an order. They were the best steakhouse in the city, and I figured I could give Noonie the night off from cooking for me. This would surely be a treat as she hadn't eaten out in the month I had her trapped in my penthouse.

After I secured the food, I made the short drive to The Mallory and parked in my private garage. Hanging my helmet up on the studs I used for storage, I headed to my private elevator. When the doors slid open, I was met with the pleasant scent of jasmine and vanilla. No matter how many times I told Noonie to stop ordering girly candle scents, she refused to listen.

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