Page 38 of Loving You

I’m going to sleep great tonight.

As I’m leaving, I spot something on the corner of the desk. It's a draft of an ad for help in the shop. Part-time mechanic. I scan it quickly; there is a question mark by the pay and the hours. She’s writtenhow muchnext to experience. She also wroteask himnext to job details.

I know she will ask me first thing, but I sit back down, grab a pen and answer her notes.

She’s done so much for me already, it’s my turn to do a little for her. Which is still helping me, but it’s progress.

She’ll get it.

I lock up and cross the small yard to my house. The porch light is on at the apartment and Quinn is rocking on the porch swing with a book. I spot her legs first, one crossed over the other.

Just once, I’d like to know if they are as soft as I imagine they are.

She looks up when I come fully into view, so I stop.

“Are you just now done working?” she asks, sitting up and setting her book down. She grabs her phone. “It’s after ten.”

I shrug. “I like my job.”

She hums. Then she leans back again and grabs her book.

It’s late and dark, but the end of spring air is warm, and tonight we are blessed without wind. It’s the perfect night to hint that summer is almost here. Per the calendar, it’ll be here in three days. Which also means Lovers will be having its annual first day of the summer festival.

One of many that happen during the year.

It’s also an opportunity for Quinn and me to rip off the Band-Aid to the town and tourists.

“Do you need something?” she asks.

I nod, pointing to one of the chairs at the small table. “May I?”

She nods.

I take in her bare legs as she shifts. Of course I do. They’re now tucked under her body to the side. She’s wearing a matching short and top set, all white with yellow and pink flowers. The top covers everything and reminds me of a dress shirt the way it buttons up the front. Her hair is down, and her face is makeup-free.

It occurs to me that the Quinn online is very similar to the one right in front of me, and a little bit of guilt sets in. I assumed they were two different people, but it turns out, she doesn’t pretend to be anyone else.

Shit. I don’t know why I thought she did.

It actually reminds me of the first time I saw her.

It was the summer before my sophomore year of high school. She was in line at the ice cream shop with her grandma, Betty. Betty was talking to my dad, and Quinn was gazing through the glass at all the flavors. Not a care in the world about what was happening around her. When the woman working asked what she wanted, she said pistachio with cookie dough bites and crushed Reese’s.

It didn’t make any sense, but she didn’t care. She wanted what she wanted, and that was that.

I remember thinking that I’d finally found another kid in Lovers who was as sure of themselves as I was.

Over an ice cream order.

Then I found out she wasn’t here to stay. So I never tried to befriend her. What was the point? At that time in my life, I was tired of people leaving.

I formed my opinion of her that day and never let it go.

“Are you going to sit there in silence or tell me what’s on your mind?”

I shake the memory away.

That was a long time ago.

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