Page 55 of Knocked Up by my Best Friend's Brothers

“The hysterectomy,” I say, remembering she’d had one. She never told me why. Now, I know. “That’s right.”

She nods again. “My husband left not long afterward. He just waited for me to get better after the surgery, then told me he wanted kids. I’m sure you can fill in the gaps there. Point is, a couple of months after he walked out, I got the call about my brother. Your father. And your mother. It tore me apart on so many levels. I woke up with a kid on my doorstep, and I had no idea how to cope. How to be a mom. How to do anything!”

“Nobody plans for something like that,” I say.

“Least of all you, and I neglected to see that for a long time. I should’ve been happier for the fact that God was giving me a child to raise, to be a mother even though I couldn’t have children of my own. I should’ve done more and better for you, but I was just bitter.” She pauses as if to collect herself. I remained silent. “Christa, I’ll be honest, I was bitter and angry at life, angry at the world, angry at everything and everyone. I tried to keep it under control, but some of it oozed into our day-to-day life. For that, I am sorry. So, so sorry.”

I reach across the table and take her hands in mine. “Aunt Mary, it’s okay. I mean, thank you, of course, thank you for telling me all this. It does shed light on a few things. But I get it. I understand. I think, in a way, I forgave you a long time ago. I’m still here, aren’t I?”

“Honestly, I’m surprised you came around again.” She gives me a troubled look.

“I didn’t want to give up on you.” I add a little flourish to the truth. Aunt Mary doesn’t need to know River is the one who advised me to give this another shot. “And I’ve made my share of mistakes over the past seven years. I’ve learned to judge less and listen more. Those comments just caught me off guard.”

“No, those comments were awful. Me and my nasty mouth. I’m sorry, Christa. I really am sorry.”

“It’s okay. I’m glad we’re able to talk about these things now.”

She’s eyeing me intently. The woman raised me, after all. She can tell something is wrong, but considering how most of our conversations ended in the past, she’s apprehensive about asking.

“I had a massive argument with Teagan,” I sigh, giving her what she is quietly asking for. Part of the truth, anyway.

“There it is,” she mutters, then sighs deeply. “What happened?”

“I broke the code,” I reply, lowering my gaze for a moment.

“You two had a code?” Aunt Mary sounds confused. “Of course you had a code. You and Teagan Hawthorne were always as thick as thieves. Sisters in all but blood. What happened?”

“River and I… we’re an item.”

Keep it simple, Christa.

“And? What’s the problem? River Hawthorne and his brothers are three of Portland’s best men. You know better than me how hard it is to find a good man in this day and age.”

Let alone three. At once. Lord have mercy.

“I promised Teagan since we were in high school that I’d never look at her brothers that way. I think she knew there was something brewing between us even then,” I tell her. “When I came back, we reconnected. It quickly spun out of control.”

“You and River.”

“Yes.”

“Let me guess. Teagan found out.”

“Yes.”

Aunt Mary takes a deep breath and leans back in her chair. “I guess it wouldn’t have been as bad if you’d been the one to tell her.”

“I was honestly afraid to tell her. I wasn’t sure how she’d react or how valid the pact even was after all these years.”

“You were afraid of a possible confrontation,” she says. “You were always terrible in a conflict. You tend to shut down, to run away and hide.”

Talk about reading me like an open book. I feel naked as the day I was born in front of this woman. For a moment, I glance around at the kitchen, noticing how little has changed in the years I’ve been away, as opposed to how muchI’vechanged. She is using the same kettle for tea. The fridge is new, but it has all the old decorative magnets on the door along with photos anddrawings of mine from kindergarten.

She’s kept everything almost exactly the way it was.

“It took me a while to understand that your way of loving me was different from my parents’ through no fault of your own.” I smile at her. “It’s dawning on me now that not once did I ever come to you for advice because I was convinced you didn’t love me.”

“Thatismy fault, Christa. No point sugarcoating it.”

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