Page 34 of Knocked Up by my Best Friend's Brothers

“No, we’re having the same conversation as always. You throw something in my face; I put up with it, rinse, and repeat. Except this time, I’m throwing it back at you, and you don’t like it very much, do you?”

“I’m not the devil!”

“No, you were supposed to be a parent.”

She points a finger at me as she speaks. “Hey, I fed you, I clothed you, I made sure you stayed in school!”

I let out a mocking laugh. She always brings out the worst in me. “It doesn’t matter anymore. I don’t know why I even brought itup.”

After a moment of silence, she asks, “Where are you staying?”

“Circle Street. Close to Old Town and the Steel Bridge.”

She shrugs slightly. “You could’ve moved back here. My door was always open.”

“Yeah, because it worked out so well the last time I lived here.”

She shakes her head. “I honestly don’t know what the hell you’re so mad about.”

All I can do is admit defeat. I set my mug down and get up from my chair. “I think this was a bad idea, but I’m glad I got to see you. I’m glad you’re still here,” I say, ready to head for the door.

“I always cared for you.”

“But you never really caredaboutme,” I snap. “All you ever cared about was getting me skinny so I would land a nice, rich guy. I remember every fucking speech, every sting, every goddamn word. Maybe you don’t. Maybe everything you said and did seemed normal to you, but I’m telling you now, it wasn’t.”

“I did the best I could with what I was given.”

“You made me hate my body, and that took me a long time to get over!” I shout and walk toward the door.

Aunt Mary doesn’t move, but I hear her grumbling.

Coming here was a bad idea,I think.

But by the time I’m out of the house, shaking with anger, I realize it wasn’t such a bad idea, after all. Not really. I needed tobe reminded of why I’ve kept my distance all this time.

If she’s not willing to hold herself accountable for her actions, who the hell am I to start educating her on how to be a better person?

I’ve done fine without her, and I’ll keep doing fine.

10

Christa

It takes a while for the anger to seep out of my system.

And the Hawthorne brothers do a great job of distracting me from the pain. For three nights in a row, I welcome them to my bedroom for fiery lovemaking sessions and lengthy conversations. The hours slip by, but I find comfort and pleasure in their arms, in their company.

But I’m not done revisiting my past yet either.

I decide to Facetime with Sharon, Brett’s mother. “Hey, Sharon,” I say to the screen. “How are you holding up?”

“Christa, honey, you look wonderful!” she exclaims with a warm, radiant smile. “I see Portland is being good to you.”

“Aw, thank you. You think?”

She nods enthusiastically. “Yes. Absolutely. Your skin looks brighter. Your eyes are shining, and I’m loving that teal and cream shirt-and-jacket combo you’ve got going on there. What are those, pearl earrings?”

“They are.” I giggle softly, touching one. “They were a gift.”

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