Page 87 of Playing with Fire

He parks the car in the lot and both exit the vehicle. I remain in the car as Jaxon rests calmly on my lap.

My gaze falls briefly upon him. His hair resembles a tangle as strands curl across his forehead. Jaxon's eyes remain closed while his jaw stays soft. But it somehow makes me feel bad. A few hours earlier I would have expressed completely different thoughts about him.

My hair looked disheveled while my eyes appeared glassy, and my jaw shook uncontrollably. My heart felt like it was being torn apart when I thought about it again. I took a trembling breath to regain my composure.

We're not tearing up. We're not crying. Could you stop it?

As I regained composure, I noticed Jaxon pressed his head against my stomach and his body tensed up. My hand moving across his back caused his eyes to clench tightly.

I softly call out his name "Jaxon" to wake him. "Jaxon." I move my hand from his hair to form a gentle cup around his face.

After a brief instant he relaxed and blinked his eyes to let me know he was awake.

When Jaxon blinked his eyes open a tear dripped from his eyelid and my heart couldn't handle it. I remove the tear from my finger after it drops onto it. My eyes start stinging while I lose my composure once more.

He tries to sit up as I take in another deep breath noticing my tears starting to gather in my eyes.

"Stop it," he says softly as he rubs his thumb across my eye, and I try to control my tears. Despite my efforts to control my tears they continue to fall.

"Jaxon-"

"I don't want you crying, Em." He speaks in a gentle yet concerned manner, yet I struggle and fail to present my argument.

"But-"

"No. You need to stop crying about me. I don't need your tears." Despite recognizing his good intentions when he shuts me down again, I remain convinced that his words carried more aggression than he intended.

I inhale deeply to slow down my rapid heartbeat.

As soon as I started saying "What is going-" his eyes met mine and I immediately understood his refusal to discuss it.

He didn't want to talk about it.

I shut my mouth and rotated my head towards the window. The room remains stuck in an uncomfortable silence that feels both awkward and tense.

He moved to the seat's opposite side and pressed his head against the window.

I experienced nervousness yet felt grateful to see Kylie and Elijah return with our meal. The door opened for us to receive our belongings before they entered and exited the parking lot.

I reached for my food with hesitation as we both tried to grab it simultaneously. He withdrew his hand and let me choose what I wanted.

I remained silent throughout the rest of the ride. I made a strong effort to push from my mind the events that occurred within the brief time they were absent.

The humidity overwhelmed me as soon as I exited the car. Our arrival at the hotel placed us in the middle of Florida.

The check-in process went smoothly but we faced difficulties handling the room situation.

The hotel assigned us two rooms with one bed per room. I expected we would keep our same bed partners from the way down here.

Following Kylie's understated but direct discussion about why she must stay with my brother for common reasons I understood, I unlock the door while Jaxon follows me inside.

I stare at the bed and try to figure out how we will handle the situation. We kept silent from the time we stopped for food until now.

As he turns on the shower, he helps me find a moment of peace. While he cleans up in the shower, I'll ignore him for a few minutes and then I'll go after him when he finishes.

Once he leaves the bathroom he is already lying on his side, and I choose to lie down on the opposite side. Lying with our backs facing each other solved the problem.

After several minutes of phone browsing, I position it to charge. I switch off the lamp and shut my eyes.

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