Page 70 of Where the Heart Is

‘I know you’re not okay, so is there anything I can do?’

She dragged in a shuddering breath, the kind of breath to stave off tears, and he’d never felt so useless in all his life. ‘Just help me get these inside and packed away.’

‘Not a problem.’

They worked in silence, unloading the bags then putting the groceries away. He didn’t speak, giving her time to compose herself.

‘Want a cuppa?’

She shook her head, and before he could make a joke about would she like something lighter, she turned to him and he saw her eyes glittering with rage but filled with tears.

‘Hey.’ He opened his arms, and she flew into them, bursting into tears the moment he tightened his hold.

The strong, independent Mila he knew rarely cried. She wore her tough outer shell like a cloak, rarely allowing anyone to get close. So, for her to fall apart like this … it must be bad.

For a horrifying second, he wondered if she’d learned the truth about his acquisition, but that was stupid, because if she had he’d be the last person she’d turn to.

She clutched at his shirt and sobbed, and he wondered when their friendship had morphed into something deeper. He hated seeing her this upset and would happily slay whoever or whatever had made her so sad. However, the emptiness in his chest signalled how bereft he felt at the thought of not being around for her once he left.

That was the kicker in their relationship. At some point, he’d have to leave, and he knew it would be a billion times harder than the last time he’d fled this town.

He genuinely cared about Mila Hayes and how far he’d gone to help her financially proved it. But deep down, he had a feeling that caring could become something else entirely given half a chance, and it terrified him just as much as the thought of her discovering the truth about what he’d done.

When she quieted, he held her at arm’s-length. ‘You don’t have to tell me what that was about, but it might help to talk about it?’

‘It’s nothing, really.’

He raised an eyebrow, and she barked out a laugh. ‘Okay, I guess it was something. I overheard Anne Curruthers and another woman bad-mouthing me at the supermarket. They implied I was a golddigger who’d deliberately targeted Phil, and when he dumped me, I moved on to you.’ She reddened. ‘I’m upset because I pride myself on being a smart woman, yet I was stupid enough to think people in this town wouldn’t judge my marriage to Phil. Just because we weren’t head over heels …’ She shook her head, regret clouding her eyes. ‘I’m an idiot. I bet you’ve never done anything so stupid that you feel like a big fat dunce.’

‘You’re speaking to the king of dunces,’ he blurted, attempting to make her feel better but instantly regretting it.

Astute as ever, Mila pinned him with a curious stare. ‘Is this about school?’

Sawyer had spent a lifetime lying to everyone and he could continue now. But Mila was the only person back then who remotely gave a damn about his learning difficulties, the only one who’d suggested he might have a problem. In response, he’d run. But not anymore. Time to own what he’d gone through with a woman he trusted.

‘Yeah. You were the only one who cottoned on that I might’ve had a problem at school.’ He shook his head, remembering how utterly humiliated most teachers made him feel. ‘I felt stupid all the time. Couldn’t focus long enough in class to make sense of what was being taught. And even when I could sit still, I’d end up daydreaming so absorbed zero of the lessons.’

‘Have you been formally diagnosed?’ she asked, her tone soft and respectful as she reached out and slid her hand into his.

He nodded. ‘My first girlfriend when I made it to Melbourne was a part-time tutor and had a brother with ADHD, so she recognised the signs when we talked about our respective experiences at school. I saw the right docs, got diagnosed and put on meds.’ He shrugged. ‘It changed my life. Everything became clearer. I could focus for longer than ten minutes. I could actually learn rather than everything being a jumble.’

He squeezed her hand. ‘You knew, didn’t you? That’s what you were hinting at two weeks before Year 12 exams.’

‘I had a feeling, so that’s why I mentioned you clowning around at school for years to hide the learning stuff.’

‘And I reacted by running as far from this town as I could get.’ He rolled his eyes. ‘Not too mature.’

‘Hey, you were eighteen. We all do dumb stuff when we’re young.’

‘So what’s your excuse for marrying Phil at thirty-two?’ he deadpanned, and she yanked her hand out of his to punch him on the arm.

‘I’ve already explained my rationale for marrying him.’ She paused, her expression pensive. ‘Phil’s been a good friend to me, and it gets lonely out here. Financial security and friendship was enough for us.’

Sawyer struggled to hide his surprise. All this time, he’d assumed Mila’s marriage to Phil was solely about money. But it sounds like they had a connection, albeit a platonic one. He hated the thought of her feeling so alone she contemplated marrying. Then again, he had no right to judge. He’d bolted from this town without looking back and knew nothing of farming life.

‘Speaking of Phil, he’s throwing a B & S ball at his place next week and asked me to help plan it.’

‘I bet he did, the fucker.’

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