Page 90 of Done Waiting

She nods. “I know. But it was worth it. I danced for twelve years. And it led me to you.” Her blinding smile makes my heart beat faster. “My dad took me to the park as a reward for getting chosen to dance the lead. As a result, I met you.”

“Worth it, baby girl.” Heaving in a breath, I work up the courage to tell her the one thing no one knows except me. “You saved my life that day.” I peek at her, watching her face transform from bliss to stunned.

Maddie blinks rapidly, her face guarded, as though she dreads what I’m about to tell her. “What do you mean?” Her voice is a whisper that wraps around me, making me feel shame. But I can’t back out now.

“When my dad left me alone at the park, I knew he would do something bad. The alcohol and pills were wrecking him, and he flipped out when the doctor wouldn’t give him more. I knew he was going to find something else…” My voice cracks, and I pause, swallowing and getting control over my emotions. “I had trouble making friends, especially after my mom died. Kids were cruel, everyone in school knew what happened to her. When he left me alone, I was defeated, knowing I’d be surrounded by others yet completely alone. I planned on swallowing pills and ending things once he came back. I was tired of living like that, with no one saving me.”

Her loud sob draws my attention as tears pour down her face. “Oh God, Jagger.”

My arms tighten around her. “Then I saw you. I don’t know what made me intervene since I generally stayed away from other kids. But you… were different. Something drew me to you. And after spending time with you at the park, even though I was crushed when you left before me, I knew I couldn’t go through with it. I had to stay alive for the chance to see you again.” My heart squeezes inside my chest. “No matter what happened to me, the abuse and hell I endured, I wasn’t going to give up. I had one thing to live for—you.”

“Jesus.” She grabs me, tugging me up her body. “I can’t believe you almost… The thought of you not being here….” Shesoaks me with her tears that I frantically try to wipe away, hating that I’m causing her pain.

And then she says something that changes everything. “I love you, Jagger.”

I still, waiting for the walls to close me in, my deep-seated fear to overwhelm me and cause me to do the one thing I promised her I wouldn’t.Leave her.

But it doesn’t happen.

Instead, I stare into her honey-brown eyes, seeing the truth she spilled from her lips.She loves me. She’s loved me for a while.

I open my mouth, expecting something quite different to come out than what I say. “I’m in love with you, baby girl.”

Her face is guarded as she stares at me, as though she’s wondering if she heard me correctly, listening carefully to see if I’ll somehow take back what I say.

Instead, a smile lights up my face, euphoria filling my body. Cupping her face, I say, “God, I love you, baby girl. You’re my fucking world.”

She glows, her smile breaking over her face like the sun from behind the clouds.

Then I kiss her, forgetting about my terrible nightmare. My past. My trauma.

She consumes me. Even as a little girl, she’s always consumed me. During the darkest time of my life, she gave me hope and something more—the will to live.

Everything has changed. I can’t deny the way I feel for her any longer. The way I’ve felt for Maddie for years, although I didn’t know her name.

My monster roars inside me.What does that mean for all we’ve planned?

I can’t answer because I have none to give.

35

MADISON

One week has passed, and I’m trying my best not to lose my mind as Ben plaques my thoughts.

Jagger’s words that I’m Ben’s “end game” have continuously infiltrated my thoughts since the day he said them to me.

I shiver as Jagger’s words filter through my thoughts. “You’re his end game, Maddie. We just aren’t sure exactly what game he’s playing.”

The day after Jagger confessed he was my “dark hero” I met at Falls Creek Park when I was five years old, he told me about the texts he received from “Unknown.” I sat there in a state of shock until Jagger showed me his phone.

“I believe you, Jagger.” I handed him his phone. “I’m just… shocked… sickened… that he got your number and was taunting you.”

“It’s fine, baby girl. I can handle him.”

“It just sucks he did it at night. You have enough trouble sleeping…”

“As you’ve obviously witnessed.” He heaved out a long sigh, a hand going through his longish hair. “Even when I tried to sleepin your room but couldn’t. I knew you were awake, watching me, Maddie. I hoped if I acted like I didn’t feel your stare, you’d go back to sleep.”

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