Page 89 of Done Waiting

But this little girl ensured I was included, which meant the world to me.

When her dad came over, telling her it was time to go, she looked at me with the saddest eyes. “Maybe I’ll see you here next time?”

I nodded, a lump in my throat. “Maybe I’ll swing higher than you next time.”

Her eyes lit up, a smile lighting up her face. It was like standing in the sun. “I’m going to keep practicing so I can beat you.”

I laughed. “You do that.”

She gave me a wave. “Bye, dark hero. I’ll see you next time.”

“Bye, Pumpkin. See you next time.”

As she walked away, holding her dad’s hand and chattering a mile a minute, guilt made my skin itch, like bugs crawling over it. I was nearly positive there wouldn’t be a next time. I’d ask my dad to bring me back here, but considering this was the only day I’d seen him sober in months, it seemed highly unlikely.

“Goodbye, pumpkin,” I whisper as she climbs into her dad’s car. “Thanks for making me feel… worthwhile.” Tears were inmy eyes as I turned and trudged back to the swing, my head hanging low.

As I sat on the swing by myself, I sighed. The other kids ignored me now that pumpkin left. But I don’t feel like interacting with them, anyway.

When I hung around pumpkin, I felt happy. The last time I felt like that was when my mom was alive.

The sun went behind the clouds, making me shiver. I looked at the gray sky and hoped my dad would get here before it rained on me.

Standing in the sunshine for a little while was nice with my new friend, pumpkin.

But I feared I’d never see her again.

Maddie’s tears drip into my hair, then onto my face as I look into her honey eyes. Her eyes widen with wonder as she stares at me. “Oh my God. You… You’re my dark hero.”

Although it wasn’t a question, I nodded, confirming it. “I heard you tell Ashlynn about the boy at Falls Creek Park when you were staying with her and how you’ve wondered for years what happened to the ‘dark hero’ you met that day.”

“I looked for you every time I went to the park.”

Heaving out a sigh, I say, “It was a long time before I was able to go back. My dad was too stoned or drunk. But Jason’s parents took me about seven weeks later. You weren’t there.” A pang of disappointment goes through my chest as I remember how much it hurt that she wasn’t there.

“That was a Saturday, wasn’t it?”

I nod.

“I was at a dance recital. The one I told you about.” Her eyes sparkle as she says, “Your words stuck with me. I worked my assoff. Right before I walked on the stage, I thought of you. Then I lost myself in the music, pretending you were in the audience and I was dancing for you.”

Tears fill my eyes, and I squeeze her tighter. “I was thinking of you while you were thinking of me.” My hand strokes her hair. “Destiny.”

She nods, running her fingers through my hair. “Kismet.”

“Why did you stop dancing?”

“Two reasons: boobs and knee injury. Most dancers were flat-chested, but well, I’m not. I was criticized for it, and my dance instructors constantly tried to make me ‘minimize them’ as they liked to call it. Taping them down, making me wear two very tight sports bras. I could barely breathe sometimes because it felt like I was in a straitjacket.”

“Jealous flat-chested bitches.” I nuzzle her breasts. “I happen to love them. And it’s a good thing I wasn’t around, or I would have told them where they could shove the tape and sports bras.”

She giggles. “While it was uncomfortable, you know I’m defiant. One day, I went out there with no tape or sports bra. They were furious.”

Tilting my head up, I growl at her. “People saw your tits?”

“Jagger.” She playfully shoves me. “Yes. That was kinda the point.” Maddie laughs as I glower at her. “It was the knee injury that did me in. I landed wrong and tore a ligament in my knee. It was awful. I had surgery, which fixed my knee, but dancing was too painful. It swelled up something awful every time I tried, and I got tired of sitting with ice packs, crying until the pain meds helped.”

“Sorry, baby girl.”

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