Page 87 of Done Waiting

I heave out a breath. “There’s a reason I said we were meant to be. Beyond just what I feel. It relates to something I heard you telling Ashlynn when you spent the night at her apartment.” She looks down at me, and I tilt my head up to hers, chuckling. “Stalker, remember? I forgot to tell you this one when I listed all the times and ways I stalked you.” Lowering my head to her chest, I press a kiss above her heart. The I meet her eyes. “I was on my motorcycle, watching you through binoculars until it got dark. Then I snuck over to the windows and listened to the two of you talk as a movie played in the background.”

She nods. “I remember that… well, not you peering in through the windows, stalker.” She grins, shaking her head. “I don’t remember what I told Ashlynn, though. Other than I had an incredibly hot stalker.”

My smile widens. “I heard that. I nearly climbed through the window when you said that.”

Her eyes are wide. “Thank goodness you didn’t. Ashlynn probably would have called the cops.”

I chuckle. “That’s what stopped me.” Growing serious, I say, “Something happened when I was a kid.

Something so simple that impacted me. Saved me.”

Closing my eyes, I recount the story to her as the memory flows through my head.

Sitting on my hands, I tried not to squirm around from anticipation as my dad drove us to Falls Creek Park. There’s a huge playground that I’ve always loved, and although I’m nine years old, soon to be ten, and should be toogrown up to be this excited, the past six months of my life have eradicated my childhood permanently.

Since my mom’s death, I’ve had to grow up far too quickly. My father spent the majority of his time too drunk from alcohol or high from pain medication to care for me. Most days, he forgets all about me, lost in his memories of my mom, leaving me to fend for myself. I prefer those days to the ones where he remembers me. The slightest thing sets him off. My body is littered with bruises and scars from the punishment he regularly doles out.

It was stupid of my dad to try to save my mom. He’s a fireman and knew better. Her car was completely engulfed in flames. I’d heard the captain of the fire department tell my dad that when he came to our house to check on us. He scolded my dad for acting rashly and jumping into the flames, suffering third and even fourth degree burns on his body as a result.

Swallowing hard, I listened from the small balcony upstairs, my heart pounding inside my chest, sadness overwhelming me. I knew why my dad did it. He wanted to die because I wasn’t enough for him. He knew my mom was dead when he saw her car engulfed in flames, but still he tried to get to her. Because he couldn’t stand to live without her.

I came back to reality when my dad flipped the coffee table over, screaming at the chief to mind his own fucking business. That confirmed what I knew all along. My dad was obsessed with my mom and now that she was gone, he had nothing to live for.

Not even me.

Shaking off the memories as my dad turned his truck into the parking lot, I straightened in my seat, my greedy eyes drinking in the huge playground, the kids happily playing on the various equipment.

When my dad parked and I slid out of the truck, I took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of pine from the woods surrounding the park.

My dad walked around his truck, stopping in front of me. “I need you to do me a huge favor.” He placed his huge hand on my small shoulder. “I need you to go play for a little while. I need to go… Run some errands,” he finished weakly, his gaze flitting around, making sure no one could overhear him. “I’ll be back. If anyone asks where I am, I went to the restroom.” He shot me a loaded look that conveyed how much trouble I’d be in if I didn’t listen.

I tried to hide my trembling body as I nodded. I’d experienced enough abuse to know the repercussions would be severe if I didn’t do exactly as he said.

“Good boy, Jagger. I’ll be back soon.”

Then he jumped back inside the truck and took off.

I stood there, watching him go, loneliness overwhelming me as I turned to the park, seeing all the kids playing together, parents littering the benches or some close to the little ones, keeping a watchful eye on them.

Tears filled my eyes, but I quickly brushed them away. I once had two, loving parents who cared for me.

Not anymore.

Releasing a huge sigh, I walked toward a vacant swing, figuring I needed to make the most of my time here. Who knows when I’ll come back here, if ever.

Sitting on the swing, I moved my legs, making it go higher and faster. The warm sun felt good on my skin as the air flowed through my dark hair, lifting it from my forehead. I closed my eyes, and it felt like I was flying.

I pretended I was somewhere far away from there. Away from death and neglect, beatings, and hunger. Somewhere safe, where no one could hurt me.

Until I heard her sobbing.

My eyes flew open, landing on a little girl who looked to be about five-ish. A boy was gripping her by the hair. She was screaming and crying, trying to twist away from him.

My feet drug along the ground until I was able to slow the swing, my gaze locked on them. As soon as I could safely jump off, I did, hurrying toward them.

“What’s the problem?” My voice was menacing as I stared at the boy, who was probably a year or two younger than me. Even though I was a skinny kid, my body was packed with lean muscle. Plus, I had a temper that easily scared most kids, so I didn’t need to rely on physical size to be intimidating.

The boy pales, releasing the little girl’s hair. “She wants to get on the swings, but she’s too little.”

---