Page 86 of Done Waiting

Eventually, my eyes grow heavy and with Maddie safely tucked in my arms, I fall asleep.

34

THE STALKER

“Get in there, boy.” Large hands shove me inside the shower so hard I slam into the wall. That’s going to leave another bruise.

“Dad,” I whimper, teeth chattering. “The w-w-water. I-It’s f-f-freezing.”

He imitates me in a high-pitched voice, his nasty whiskey-smelling breath washing over me, making me feel nauseous. I scream when he grabs me by the ear. “Shut the fuck up, you little wimp.” He adjusts his grip, shaking me. My head rolls around on my shoulders like a rag doll. “You deserve this punishment. I saw what you were doing.”

“I-I w-w-wasn’t d-doing a-a-anything.” My voice is pleading, barely able to get the words out as the freezing cold water makes my teeth chatter, my body shaking like a leaf from cold and fear.

“You were playing Barbie dolls like a damn sissy with that neighbor girl!” He raises his hand, and I cringe. “Don’t lie to me, boy.”

I wasn’t playing with them, but I knew he wouldn’t believe me.

Jason’s sister, Abigail, couldn’t get the dress off her Barbie, and she started screaming and crying. She’s a bit of a diva. I took the Barbie from her to get the dress off so she could change her clothes and stop wailing.

If I tell my dad that, he’ll think I’m lying. And the punishment will be worse.

Swallowing hard, I tell him what he wants to hear, hoping that will make him happy. Looking down at my feet, I whisper, “I was playing Barbie dolls with her,” My body is numb, more concerned about the punishment he will dish out than the freezing water right now.

“I’m gonna teach you a lesson you’ll never forget,” he sneers, his bloodshot eyes leering at me. “Ain’t no son of mine going to play with dolls like some gay boy.”

Tears stream down my face as he slams me against the wall, seeing stars from how hard he shoved me. He turns off the water, then hands me a towel. “Now get out of the damn shower. You’re wastin’ water.”

I stumble as I try to push off the wall, the room spinning.

“Jagger.” He grabs me hard, yanking me out of the shower. But my foot is still inside the claw tub my mom used to love, and the sound of a bone snapping, reminding me of the tree limbs breaking off during an ice storm, makes me lose my breath. Overwhelming pain runs through my body, causing me to release a bloodcurdling scream.

“Shut the hell up!” His hand slaps me hard, and I drop to the floor, my foot bent at an odd angle beneath me. “You scream like a girl.”

He punches me in the nose, and blood spurts out of it, spraying the room.

And then, mercifully, everything goes black.

Bolting awake, sweat covers my body. As reality washes over me, I realize Maddie is sitting up beside me, stroking my hair.

“I’m sorry I woke you, baby girl.” My voice rasps, my heart still hammering inside my chest.

“It’s fine, Jagger.” Her voice is soothing as she gently plays with my hair. It’s comforting, reminding me of when my mom used to hold me and play with my hair.

“Can I…” I swallow hard, feeling foolish. “Can I lay my head on your chest?”

“Of course.” She fluffs the pillows behind her, then holds her arms out. Sliding down the mattress, I curl up against her, my head on her soft breasts. Her steady heartbeat is soothing beneath my skin. She wraps her arms around me, her fingers gently running through my hair.

“That feels so good,” I say against her skin. Her touch is soothing, and as I breathe her in, it’s different from the way my mom used to hold me. For one thing, I wasn’t against her bare breasts, unless I was an infant and I don’t remember that. For another, Maddie’s touch is that of a lover.

With a sigh, I tell her about my dream. She holds me, her fingers still stroking my hair, as she pressed gentle kisses against my skin.

Then I say, “Social workers came and went, yet they never saved me. Instead of removing me from the house and finding me a new place to stay, they bought my dad’s grieving husband routine. He told them I was a disturbed child who was undergoing intense therapy because I was a pathological liar who hurt myself to get attention. He’d start weeping uncontrollably, telling them he couldn’t lose me, too.” Heaving out a long, disappointed sigh, I say, “And they believed him.”

Maddie’s voice is tearful as she says, “The system definitely failed you.”

My laugh is brittle. “Understatement.” My thoughts race inside my head, another secret I’ve been keeping from her. “Maddie. I have something to tell you.”

“Sure. What is it?”

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