Page 138 of Done Waiting

Only, my obsession with her spiraled out of control and became something else entirely. Something I was terrified to admit until I had her in my cabin. I was in love with her.

I didn’t have the balls to admit it until she was there with me, giving me strength.

Then she outwitted me, sacrificing herself for my sister because Maddie loved her, Bryce, and Jason. But the main reason she did it was because she was so devoted, so in love with me, that she couldn’t bear the thought of me losing anyone else.

And then, my love made the ultimate sacrifice—herself.

She sacrificed herself for me. To save my wretched, worthless life.

I’m nothing without her.

I flashback to the click of the safety being turned off, the Ice Queen staring at me with pure venom as she squeezed thetrigger. Maddie’s voice screamed my name as her small body slammed into my back, knocking me forward before rolling onto that dirty wooden floor. I crawled to her, not caring about anything else, not even aware Jason had shot the Ice Queen, then Ben, who came to and started moving toward me.

My nightmares have been replaced by Maddie’s ghostly face contorted from the agony of the bullet piercing her chest and the words that flowed between us.

“Jagger,” Her voice is weak, her face contorted from pain. “I love you.”

“No, baby girl.” I gather her in my arms, my tears dripping onto her face. “Don’t say goodbye to me.Stay with me, dammit.”

Her eyelashes flutter, her face so pale. “I’m sorry.”

“Dammit, baby girl. Don’t be sorry. Stay with me.” Leaning down, I kiss her face. “You and me. We’re forever. You can’t fucking leave me.” My voice cracks and breaks, just like the pieces of my heart.

“Tell me…” she rasps. “You… love… me.”

I’m sobbing so hard my entire body shakes as I press my lips to her face, the coldness of her skin chilling my lips. “I love you so fucking much, baby girl. I’ve loved you since I was nine fucking years old. You’re it for me. The only one I’ve ever loved. Don’t fucking leave me. Please… don’t fucking leave me.”

“I’ll… always… be… with… you.” Then her eyes closed. “Please, stay strong.Live.”

I scream, howling as the pain engulfs me, splintering my soul. “No…” I bury my face in her hair. “Please, Maddie. Don’t leave me.” Tears pour down my face like a gushing river. Soaking my skin. Falling into her hair. “I can’t let you go. I can’t live without you.”

Pulling myself from my memories, resolve fills me.I need to do this. She’d want me here.

Closing my eyes, her voice floats through my head.“I’ll always be with you.”

I smile briefly, only good memories of the two of us flowing through me. Her golden blonde hair surrounded her angelic face, and her eyes were full of love for me.

She was everything good in my world. All the colors were brighter, and I was filled with childish optimism.

The tattoo on my back was meant to cover my scars and remind me that love destroys. The giant rose lying on charred remains, its petals blazing with red hot flames, in honor of my mom, Rose.

I once had a loving mother who made my world magical as a child. Then it was ripped away from me.

My eyes flit to the tombstone in front of me.All good things come to an end in my world.

Like a tidal wave, the grief hits me so hard it nearly brings me to my knees and my composure snaps.

I need to get out of here.

My chest rises and falls rapidly, but I’m not getting enough air. My limbs tingle, and the flowers nearly slip from my fingers.

Then her voice is in my ears, her arms wrapping around my waist. I breathe in her scent, my eyes closing. “I knew you needed me, so here I am.”

My large hand covers her small one, entwining our fingers together while clutching the flowers in my right hand. “I always need you. That’ll never change.”

Her hand squeezes mine before she loosens her grip. I release her small hand, knowing what she will do next.

Moving in front of me, her arms wrap around my waist. “Don’t get mad at me for being here. I knew this day would be hard for you.”