Page 36 of Puck Right Off

“Seventeen amazing years together before Kacie passed away from cancer.” He rubbed his hands together, the wedding ring on his finger gleaming beneath his office lights. “She was the love of my life… I’ve been alone ever since.”

Ouch.

I close my eyes. And there it is. All good things come to an end.

“I know you’ve been through your share of loss.”

My eyes snap open. I’m barely breathing as I wait for him to finish.

“If you asked me if I’d do it all over again, knowing the outcome, I wouldn’t hesitate for one second to say yes. And I’d mean every goddamn word. I’d go through her illness and death all over again to hold her in my arms.”

While my heart breaks for him, the confusion churning in my stomach baffles me. “You mean the whole better to have loved and lost….”

He chuckles. “Kinda.”

His fingers drum over the wooden desk as he gathers his thoughts. “What I mean is love is worth it. Life isn’t worth living without love, Tristan. Does it hurt when you lose it? Of course, it fucking does. When you love someone so much, and death steals them from you, it can make you so bitter that it sucks all the joy from the world, making it a terrible place to live. Sometimes, you consider the possibilities of ending things just so you can join them.”

I suck in a breath. It all makes sense now. Coach so easily understood my grief and loss because he’d been through something similar. He was instrumental in helping me, sometimes dragging me into the land of the living again when all I wanted to do was give up.

“I went through a terrible depression after Kacie died. My dad and sister nagged at me to see a doctor because they were so worried about me. The doctor prescribed pills for it.” He bows his head in shame. “I ended up drinking while taking the pills, although I wasn’t supposed to, and nearly died.”

My palms are sweaty, and my heartbeat is sluggish. I understand that feeling all too well. Had my grandma notintervened, I may have wound up dead the night I got drunk off my ass and tried to ride my dad’s motorcycle.

“We’re kindred souls, Tristan. It’s why I kept reaching out to you after your family died. Why I refused to let you give up. I had people who cared about me, and they were there, pushing me when I needed them to, refusing to give up on me. I did the same for you.”

I’m an emotional mess as I nod, too choked up to speak.

“I’m not benching you, Tristan. Get that thought out of your head. This isn’t about that.” He smiles. “I saw you near the clinic, arguing with a very pretty blonde. The tension and electricity between you reminded me of Kacie and me.”

“Yeah, and look what happened. I played like shit today. I couldn’t focus.”

“That happens when you love someone.”

My head snaps up, and my movements still. “I-I’m not in l-love, coach. Jordyn and I… well, it’s complicated. We’re roommates, and her stepbrother is my teammate.”

Coach frowns. “Who’s her stepbrother?”

“Josh Fowler.”

Coach raises his brows. “That surprises me. The two of them seem like complete opposites.”

“They are. There’s a lot of tension between them. But her stepfather cut her education funding, and she didn’t have a lot of options.”

“Ah, I see. You have a beautiful, forbidden roommate living with you.” He gives me a knowing look. “She seemed pretty into you, too.”

I raise my brows. “We’re opposites.”

Coach leans back in his chair, a shit-eating grin on his face. “Opposites attract.”

“Yeah, well, I haven’t exactly put my best foot forward. First, she caught me with another girl?—”

“She saw you with someone else?”

I squirm in my chair at the look on his face. “Well, um… yeah. It was stupid. Josh told me to fuck the pain away since it’s near the anniversary…” My voice shakes, and I swallow hard before forcing the words out.

“The anniversary of your parents and sister’s death,” He finishes. “It takes a while to say it without breaking down, Tristan. Three years for me.”

I do the math. “You’re thirty-nine?” I’m shocked. He sure as hell doesn’t look thirty-nine. He could easily pass for much younger.

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