Page 91 of Irons

Regrets

Wrenly

We were miserable and I wasn’t sure how we made it from Creed and Morgan’s house to the truck. I thought I had it under control after dinner when we cleaned up the kitchen, but then I got into the desserts and so many regrets happened.

Neither one of us had the strength to get out of Travis’s truck and walk into the house.

“That was unhealthy.” Travis groaned.

“I’ve never eaten that much in my life. I feel like I’m going to explode.” I complained.

“Why didn’t I stop with the pumpkin roll after dinner?” He groaned again.

“I thought one piece of pie wouldn’t hurt, then Jenny brought out the cakes.” I looked behind us and saw all the plastic bags filled with containers of leftovers and desserts. “We have way too much food. Do we really have to put it away tonight?” I couldn’t imagine walking, let alone unloading all the containers of food.

“Yes, that was the best turkey and stuffing ever. Holy shit don’t even mention the sweet potato casserole thing. Oh, and what the hell was up with that cranberry sauce? I thoughtI didn’t like cranberry sauce, then saw that cream cheese icing stuff with nuts on the top, and changed my mind. I think I’m diabetic now. Can you imagine getting a SWAT call right now?”

“Ugh, thank God the program isn’t up and operational yet.” I groaned. “On the count of three let’s just fight through it and go.”

I counted and we got the doors open, but we sort of rolled out of the truck slowly and opened the back door to grab the food. It felt like it took us forever to get in the house and unload everything that needed to go into the fridge. The both of us collapsed into the sofa and I could barely reach the remote for his television.

“Just like old times.” I put Rudolph the Claymation cartoon on because we watched it every year on Thanksgiving night as kids. We didn’t even curl up together because we were so miserable. When Rudolph ended I turned my head to look at Travis. “Have you made a decision yet?” I asked him to go home with me. Not just because I wanted him to see my dad, but because I would miss him being so far away. My dad was aware of our relationship, and when I told him he was far from surprised. I guess he pretty much expected it when I left.

Travis reached for my hand and squeezed it. “I already made arrangements with the Originals and told Darren earlier tonight.”

I smiled wide. “How do you feel about going home?”

He smiled. “I’m kind of excited to see Clint and give him hell about dating his daughter finally.”

“And what if you run into Paula?”

“That’s like asking me how I feel about running into a stranger. I honestly don’t care either way. I don’t have anyfeelings for her. I forgave my parents, and when that happened I guess it was like being numb. I didn’t know them well enough to form much of a bond. I don’t regret having Tony as my father figure, if anything I’m thankful, so I think any hard feelings I have are about the things I missed as a kid. Like all the time I wasn’t in class and not able to participate in after school activities. It would have been doable once we got to middle school if they would have let me have good attendance.” He smiled. “Did I tell you how much I loved playing basketball my senior year?”

I giggled. “A few times.”

“Maybe that’s why I hung on so tightly to the guys and Bolton. We were a team and like family. The two things I wished I had as a kid.”

I squeezed his hand and smiled. “I’m happy you’re going with me.”

A sly grin formed on his face. “I’m so totally going to fuck Clint’s daughter in her childhood bedroom.”

I laughed through my exhaustion but rolled my eyes. “I’m sure dad will appreciate that.”

“Alright. Do you think we can make it to bed? I don’t have much faith in my strength right now.” He yawned.

“Yeah, let’s go.”

That was one of the few nights we went to bed without sex. But that didn’t mean I wouldn’t wake up with a boner pressed into my ass. I was thankful our day didn’t start as early since it was the Friday after Thanksgiving. We didn’t waste a moment, and Travis gave me one of the best mornings of my life. He didn’t have any of the problems he talked about. The man was constantly all over me and had the craziest amount ofstamina. Not that I minded, sex with Travis was better than I dreamed. He drew the orgasms out of me like crazy and I was the queen of faking it before I slept with Travis. I could swear just a look from him could set me off, he didn’t even need to touch me.

I was officially the Vice President of the Domestic Violence division of Creed’s Lake. I had my own office downstairs near the command center and Darren’s was next to mine. It was up to me to carry out duties for Darren because he was still Sheriff of Sinclair County. I was also taking online classes and going into Clarity for the SWAT team.

The rescued children left Creed’s Lake almost two weeks prior. They still weighed heavily on my mind. I knew they were better off in their own countries than in South America, but most were returned to Socialist countries, and they were still orphans. It killed me the day I had to help put them on that jet. It was the only time Travis had to leave me for any consecutive days. He was gone for three days, and I hated it.

The Originals were in a meeting, and I just took a call from Darren. There were a few calls he wanted me to make about two of the grants we received. The DV division wasn’t all the way operational quite yet. They did have a few cases, but not enough to keep us busy. I was going to set up some meetings today for Darren and myself for after the new year. We needed to make contact with some of the shelters around the country, and we were also reaching out to some public defenders offices. Creed and Darren already had rental property for the law office, but they asked me to have it furnished and decorated, so I was staying busy with that as well.

As I was looking on Pinterest for some decorating inspiration, I stumbled across a photo of a nursery. In it, they showed a mother looking down at her little infant with nothing but pure love in her eyes. The father was standing in the doorwayadmiring his wife with a big smile on his face. Surprisingly enough, I didn’t think of the baby I lost, but instead it was one that wasn’t created yet. Something I realized I hadn’t had in a long time was slowly growing inside me. Something that Travis was giving me, and that was hope. My previous cesarean did increase my chance of a miscarriage by three percent according to my doctor and my research online. Three percent didn’t sound like much, but it did to a mom with empty arms. The pain of that loss would always be raw, but after my pregnancy scare after that stupid party, I was coming to terms with the fact that I could still be a mother someday. Even though I was frightened about it, Travis made me want to be a mother. Not that I would want to get pregnant now, but possibly in the future. I swear Travis made me want everything I wanted for us years ago. I was a child then, but the feelings I had for Travis were real.

We were busy, starting new programs, and Travis and I stole every available second we could be together. Whenever there wasn’t a mission and we weren’t needed at Creed’s Lake, we took short trips. Typically to places close enough to home that we could be back in a matter of a few hours if something happened. After his meeting, we took off for French Lick, where we stayed in a gorgeous hotel. I visited the spa while he fished one day, then we went sightseeing before a very nice dinner and another night making love. We didn’t travel because we didn’t love Creed’s Lake, it was just because we enjoyed quiet time together without any disruptions. Travis said there were less overseas missions in the summer, and it wasn’t unusual for the Originals to take small trips, especially on their bikes. That’s the kind of stuff I wanted to experience before we made our dreams come true. I guess before we even thought of having a baby, which is insane in itself that I even entertained the idea.

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